Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 39

in #funny5 years ago (edited)

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 39th part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31,32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, and 38. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Forced vocation

Meanwhile outside church.

LADY: Father, you are so cute and handsome! Why did you ever decide to become a priest? Ladies would be swooning over you to marry if you weren't a priest.
PRIEST: My parents didn't want me be a nun which I wanted!


So tense

Meanwhile in English grammar class.

TEACHER: I will go shopping. What verb tense is this?
MARK: Teacher, its future tense.
TEACHER: Very good! Peter, what tense is this? I am eating cake now.
PETER: Ma'am, that is present tense.
TEACHER: Good! John, answer this! I am pretty. What tense is this?
JOHN: Easy, it shows in your face! Its past tense!


Rabies

Image source

Three stray dogs were talking among themselves.

DOG 1: I heard from people that our saliva contains rabies. Which means our bite is deadly!
DOG 2: Good! The better for us to retaliate on people who try to hurt us!

But the third dog was shaking with fear.

DOG 1: Hey, what are you so afraid about?
DOG 3: I swallowed my saliva! I am afraid that I'll die!


Money or wife

ROBERT: Which is more important. Money or wife?
ROMEO: Of course, its money!
ROBERT: Why?
ROMEO: Because as long time passes by, money gains interest! You lose interest in your wife as a long time goes by and she sucks up your money too!


Father versus son

Image source

FATHER: What is 10 + 10?
SON: I do not know the answer.
FATHER: You can't even answer an easy math problem. Your stupidity will kill you!
SON: Dad, if you find 500 Dollar bill and 1000 Dollar bill in an alley, which one would you pick up?
FATHER: Of course, I'll pick up the 1000 Dollar bill!
SON: The truth is, in a real situation, you can pick both! Your stupidity will kill you!



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


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