Filipino Jokes Translated for Western Tastes Part 32 (My Entry for Comedy Open Mic - Round 12)

in #funny5 years ago

Giphy

Good day, my fellow Steemers and Whalesharers! This is the 32nd part of my series post about local Filipino jokes which I have translated for people of the English language. Please check out Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, and 31. Please read and pick the ones you like best. Tell me in the comments section on why you liked it.

I think nobody in Steemit and Whaleshares has done this kind of post series before. So I took it upon myself to do it even if you think it might not be popular or profitable. I just wanted to be the first to do this kind of thing. It would be up to you to decide, my fellow readers, if I was successful or not.

There are still a lot more Filipino local jokes that we need to be translating. These jokes are the products of the Filipinos' creativity, ingenuity, and love of social drinking.

Read and enjoy!



Biggest chest

There was a world contest held for the title of woman who got the biggest breasts. The final contestants were an American woman, an Indian woman and a Filipina.

The American woman went first. She rolled up her tee-shirt and out came her boobs that were the size of papayas. The audience clapped.

The woman from India appeared next. She removed her sari dress and revealed her breasts the size of melons. The audience cheered.

It was the Filipina's turn next. She slowly opened her jacket revealing two dark tennis ball-sized flesh peeking out.

"Boo!!!", the audienced jeered.

The Filipina screamed at them, "You morons, these are my nipples!!! I haven't bared my breasts yet!!!"


The killers

Image source

KILLER 1: I thought that our target to kill is going to pass here by 10 o'clock. Look, its 12 o'clock already!
KILLER 2: Yeah, I'm worried that something bad has happened to him!


Prosperous in America?

Father was happy that his son in America sent him a picture.

FATHER: Johnny is really prosperous in America! The picture shows him lying on a nice car! Dear, please read the letter attached!
MOTHER:(Reading the letter aloud) "Mother, I thank heaven for this car that caught my fall. If not, I would be lying on the gutter instead out of hunger!"


3 Drunk fools

3 drunks (one was cross-eyed) were walking along the road.

1ST DRUNK: Look, the sun is up!
2ND DRUNK: Wrong! That's the moon!
CROSS-EYED DRUNK: Which one? The left or the right?


Learned to count

TEACHER: Boy, I saw your older brother on the street playing cards! I hope you won't be a card player like him when you grow up! You must study hard.
BOY: Don't worry, ma'am!
TEACHER: You already know how to count well?
BOY: Yes! I can count from 1 to 10 and after that!
TEACHER: Great, what's after 10?
BOY: Jack, queen and king!

Image source



Translated from Source: http://www.jokespinoy.com/


Follow me as @darthnava: "Laugh your worries away and be crazy."

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