The One Night Stand - A Shitty Poem

in #funny • 7 years ago


I'm no poet, and now you all know it!

The One Night Stand

I'm awakened in bed by the sound of a fart
I ready my nose for the smell that will start

Suddenly it hits me, right in the face
The disgusting smell of fresh human waste

My ass isn't burning, so it didn't come from me
Wait! I can make out the faint smell of broccoli

I think back to dinner, and then it comes back
I didn't order vegetables, I think they are wack

So who ate the greens? That aroma is dank
I recall dialing my phone and calling that skank

Did she say no, or did she say yes?
After all that I drank, it's anyone's guess

Which one did I call? I just can't remember
Was it that chick that I met back in September?

I'm wracking my brain and I just can't think
Could it be because of this unbearable stink?

My memory is blank, and I've just got to know
I slip out of bed, and quietly tiptoe

I get to her side and lift up the sheets
I just hope I didn't pick her up on the streets

I get a look at her face and with a sigh of relief
I remember she ordered broccoli and beef

She's pretty cute too, I guess I did good
Uh oh what's that? I think I've got wood

I'm getting cold too, I get under the covers
Then despair hits because I ran out of rubbers

I didn't buy enough and so I know I'm to blame
If only I could remember this farting chick's name!


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#life #writing #story #blog
7 years ago in #funny by
$10.23
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    • [-]
     7 years ago 

    I like yout "Shitty poem" :D
    Upvoted & Followed you as well!

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     7 years ago 

    Hmm..I don't know, Chris. I think you might have real potential as a poet. A little of Anne Sexton and a lot of Andrew Dice Clay. :)

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     7 years ago 

    Gee thanks! Unfortunately it's not a true story!

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       7 years ago 

      I didn't want to laugh but i really did haha. Well done!

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       7 years ago 

      Why didn't you want to laugh? It's not too bad, is it? I think I'm right up there with Shakespeare!

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         7 years ago 

        It was very good I must admit. The title shitty poem made me dubious as to how boyish it would be lol but I really liked it. Must be a boy at heart :-)

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         7 years ago 

        When I came up with the title I called it a "shitty" poem in reference to the content. In other words it was a play off of the whole "farting under the covers" thing.

        I wouldn't classify it as very good, as compared to some of my other articles, but I was in a humorous mood and just felt like playing around. I actually can't believe it made $10 too!

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           7 years ago 

          well it did make me laugh....you should do more !

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