Oncoming Winter Holiday Virus -5minutefreewrite (x3) Comedy Open Mic Round 41 -nuanced vocal work with imperfect mic.

For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/the-weekend-freewrite-12-8-2018-part-3-the-dramatic-twist

The entire village was outside, waiting for the expected sign in the sky. It came every 6 months, without fail, but this time it was different.

The airplane approached, and the villagers excitedly pointed at it. The sign billowing behind it wasn't visible yet, but they all knew what to expect. Children babbled with the excitement they'd gained from their parents. Old people babbled with the excitement they imbued to the youth. Middle-aged people were silently excited.

And then the sign came into view.

The sign that they all expected to read, "Happy Winter Solstice!"

The sign that instead read, "Merry Christmas! -from your friends at Walgreens"

Oh god. What had happened? Had the solstice been postponed? Was the Earth no longer tilted on its axis the way it used to be? Were Christians bent on ruining even this tradition? What would the summer one read? Would it say something about the heat of Satan's hell??? Or perhaps it would be from some other religions. Perhaps the summer one would be... Oh god... would it be from the Scientologists? It COULD HAPPEN.

"Look at that," she would tell each busload of tourists, pointing at the nativity scenes on every lawn, "you can see that this suburb is law-abiding. Christians follow Christian laws, so you'll be safe in this neighborhood." But then... she saw it. The lawn had, as it should, an American flag, and a garden gnome. They'd even splurged on a flat wooden cut-out of a lady in bloomers as if she were bent over a flower bed... but instead of a nativity scene, there just wasn't. There was a christmas tree.

"Drive faster!" she urged the bus driver. Perhaps her horde of tourists wouldn't notice the potentially secular celebrants of the most holy of holidays in the capital of America, Iowa City, Iowa.

But it was a hopeless hope. The absolutely noticed. Here, in the center of all of Christendom, was someone who did not put images of baby Jesus in a manger on their lawn, even though they had the lawn right there, and she could even see that the government-subsidized box of ornaments was sitting unopened on their front porch.

The stain got bigger. On the bottom half of the box, the drip drip drip of a sprinkler set on automatic...

OH! A ray of hope! This family was out of town. They should, of course, have hired someone to set up their nativity scene for them. They were lazy and/or thoughtless, but at least they weren't heathens. She breathed a great sigh of relief when she thought of that. Her satisfaction was short-lived, however. She was soon livid. From the back of the tour bus, she heard it..."Dashing through the snow..." A SECULAR CHRISTMAS CAROL. On HER tour bus. This could not be stood for. She would have to stop the bus, and turn the whole group over to a pastor. Someone who would straighten them out. She began worrying for herself. What if she had gotten some heathen on her. Or worse, what if she had gotten a Christmas and Easter Christian. She wasn't immunized against those. They were so tempting. They said things like Jesus is always with me, and God is all around us, which were things she believed. But to come together and worship. That was what it meant to be a Christian! To listen to pastor's sermons and to agree and to tithe and to sit in pews.

Oh no. She felt herself beginning to sing the song as well...

The tourists sang boldly. Then, overwhelmed by secularity, she joined in. She sang tentatively at first, her voice quavering, resisting, crying, and then, letting go, she sang unrestrainedly, fully, joyfully.

I nominate @ecoinstant and @ecoinstante to make funny things for Comedy Open Mic.