Cheers @blockurator I appreciate your feedback mate. When I was writing this I wanted to try and leave the twist that there was a post apocalyptic scenario happening right until the end while weaving some subtext in about how people can dissociate themselves from their fellows. It was a short word limit to try to get all that in. This is why I love constrained writing exercises like this. Also, I hadn't written any fiction in weeks so it snapped me out of my block.
This is a smooth continuation of the first half, I love that first paragraph. Great development of the characters, Thomas was not the only one afraid of ‘the changed’. What caused these violent and disfigured people?
Your question makes me happy as I wanted to leave the reader with questions about the history and background of what left these 'changed' people so damaged and the people who aren't... why are they where they are who they are etc. I think it is so difficult to build solid characters, back story and plot in 500 words so I always try my best to just make sure that I build an impression of the scene/world in the finish the story and leave it open to intriguing questions that people hopefully answer themselves. Lol, always keep the audience guessing is the expression. Thanks for such a great opening! There were so many little details for me to build from; Kaylas injury, Thomas' timidness, the dusty starkness of the environment these details gave me something strong to build upon.
To answer the question, in my mind the back story was that it was a post apocalyptic world where some people had been ravaged by a genetic disease while others hadn't. Those who were left healthy preyed on those who weren't.
A great balance and constant suspense permeate your second half. The style flows naturally and I felt immersed in the scene without even realizing. I have the feeling that you wanted to opt for a different stylistic choice, diverting from a more lyric approach. Am I wrong? I loved the darkness of this episode and the final revelation about Kayla.
I have the feeling that you wanted to opt for a different stylistic choice, diverting from a more lyric approach. Am I wrong?
not wrong at all. I was actively going for a more matter of fact, action and dialogue orientated prose here rather than my usual cacophony of imagery ;-)
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@raj808 wow, amazing tale! I loved the suspense building. Your explanation in the comments below about the post-apocalyptic world led me to understand it more richly.
ǝɹǝɥ sɐʍ ɹoʇɐɹnƆ pɐW ǝɥ┴
I really appreciate the MAD curation @themadcurator :) :) Thanks
Another good one. You know how to take the story from middle to finish, and make it surprising. I like that. A good skill to have.
Cheers @blockurator I appreciate your feedback mate. When I was writing this I wanted to try and leave the twist that there was a post apocalyptic scenario happening right until the end while weaving some subtext in about how people can dissociate themselves from their fellows. It was a short word limit to try to get all that in. This is why I love constrained writing exercises like this. Also, I hadn't written any fiction in weeks so it snapped me out of my block.
I know what you mean. Time crunch and all. Sometimes, the minutes just don't show any grace. I love reading your stuff, short or long. :-)
BTW, working on some curation rewards for @gardengnomepubs. Your feedback is always appreciated.
This is a smooth continuation of the first half, I love that first paragraph. Great development of the characters, Thomas was not the only one afraid of ‘the changed’. What caused these violent and disfigured people?
Thanks @gaby-crb.
Your question makes me happy as I wanted to leave the reader with questions about the history and background of what left these 'changed' people so damaged and the people who aren't... why are they where they are who they are etc. I think it is so difficult to build solid characters, back story and plot in 500 words so I always try my best to just make sure that I build an impression of the scene/world in the finish the story and leave it open to intriguing questions that people hopefully answer themselves. Lol, always keep the audience guessing is the expression. Thanks for such a great opening! There were so many little details for me to build from; Kaylas injury, Thomas' timidness, the dusty starkness of the environment these details gave me something strong to build upon.
To answer the question, in my mind the back story was that it was a post apocalyptic world where some people had been ravaged by a genetic disease while others hadn't. Those who were left healthy preyed on those who weren't.
Great cover art for the second time this round. Enjoyable story to compliment.
Thanks @cyemela glad you enjoyed the story mate :)
A great balance and constant suspense permeate your second half. The style flows naturally and I felt immersed in the scene without even realizing. I have the feeling that you wanted to opt for a different stylistic choice, diverting from a more lyric approach. Am I wrong? I loved the darkness of this episode and the final revelation about Kayla.
You're absolutely right @bananafish
not wrong at all. I was actively going for a more matter of fact, action and dialogue orientated prose here rather than my usual cacophony of imagery ;-)
I really appreciate your feedback mate :)
Hey, @raj808!
Thank you for your contribution to the crowd. We are the Steemit project dedicated to empowering The Wisdom of Crowds. You can find more about us on our official website or whitepaper and you can support us by voting for our witness and joining our curation trail on Steemauto . We are also inviting you to join Crowdmind Discord server. Don't forget to use the #crowdmind hashtag and happy crowdsourcing!
Cheers for the curation @crowdmind your support means a lot to me :)
Great project you are running :)
P.s. I shall remember to us the tag when I can in the future.
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Hi @raj808!
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@raj808 wow, amazing tale! I loved the suspense building. Your explanation in the comments below about the post-apocalyptic world led me to understand it more richly.
Will you write more in this world? 🙌🙌