Darkness to light - 240-character micro-fiction

in fiction •  4 months ago 

I hope you enjoy my little story. This is an entry into the #ZapFic contest run by @felt.buzz.

Darkness to light


Image source: Pixabay image by Schueler-Design

“Helen?”

Mist shrouded the moonlight. “Yes?”

“I feel so empty.”

“It’s because you had Chinese food, Danny. It never sticks with you.”

“No, Helen. My job eats my soul.”

“Then we will arrange something else.”

The clouds parted and moonlight shone.



I love the challenge of micro-fiction. In this teensy story I wanted to explore how despondency can feel so palpable, especially at that haunted hour in the night when life's challenges are magnified within our minds. And others may simply not be able to understand or relate to what we experience in our darkest hours.

Thank you for reading.

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Posted from my blog with SteemPress : https://jaynalocke.com/2019/05/27/darkness-to-light-240-character-micro-fiction/

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I haven't been a very frequent reader of yours, @jayna, but, from what I've read so far, one of the traits I like about how you work is irony (which seems to be very microfiction; I remember something said about it by Augusto Monterroso and Juan José Arreola, Hispanic American masters of microfiction). In this one it is clearly manifested in that cutting, confusing and somewhat absurd dialogue, and its parallelism with the physical environment (the fog and the light). This relationship is very interesting, because when the sky is clear, the meaning between the couple is not clear. Well! Thank you, @jayna.

Thank you for your lovely words, @josemalavem! I do love irony. And incongruity. They are delightful spices for the cookery of fiction. Thanks for taking the time to read my story and leave a well-thought-out response.

Very nice! 😍

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Thanks @felt-buzz. Having the busiest week of my life, so I'm falling behind on replies!

No problem! I hope it's "good" busy 😍

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Love it. I can picture this conversation in my head :)

Thank you, @adetorrent! How fun to have you visit my blog. Best wishes, and I hope you’re getting some swell spring weather in the U.K.

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Thank you.. and yes we are! It's raining at the moment, but it's welcome rain :)

  ·  4 months ago (edited)

Here as well, and I’m ready to shop Amazon for ark building plans.

Glorious... when going through a night of despair, having just that ONE person who will listen, acknowledge our situation, and help can bring light in. Well done!

Thanks so much, @deeanndmathews! Yes, it's carrying around all those loose marbles in our heads, alone, that causes extra angst. Thank you for reading my story!

If it was only that easy! Chinese food hahaha!

I think Felt approves!

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Hee hee, thank you! I’m glad I amuse someone other than myself!

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