Challenge #02399-F209: They Can't Have Nice Things AnymoresteemCreated with Sketch.

in fiction •  last month 


Aliens learn about the furry/scalie communities, which lead to both awkward and helpful situations. -- Anon Guest

"Huh. How about that?"

This surprised remark was not unexpected over morning nourishment hours, since many were prone with checking their news updates. Someone, somewhere, was bound to find out something interesting that was worthy of a similar comment. Therefore, Grux, who preferred to huddle over their morning nutrition and stimulants, said, "How about what?"

"Humans..." this delivered with a seemingly mandatory eye-roll. "There's whole communities of them who feel affectionate towards anthropomorphic versions of their Terran animals... and some who do the same towards anthropomorphic versions of their reptiles."

Grux spent a minute processing this, as their personal warming unit was still activating their internal organs. Including their brain. "So... they would feel affectionate towards peoples like us, correct? We are upright-walking, cogniscent versions of some... Terran lizards. Or close enough that it really shouldn't matter too much."

"I guess..." Thux checked their databases. "We do resemble the -uh- bearded dragon more than most reptilian cogniscents..."

"So we should look for a Ships' Human among the community who has a fondness for lizards," said Grux. "It might speed up the bonding process."

You might wish to call those famous last words. It's all dependent on perspective, really.

When Human Jule arrived from the Scalie community, they instantly developed crushes -or to be more accurate, 'squishes'- on a rough half of the ships' crew. Their semi-amorous flirtation process wasn't entirely uncomfortable per se, just... remarkably inaccurate for someone allegedly enamoured with anthropomorphic reptiles.

We shall leave the Live Mice Incident up to the readers' imaginations.

Nevertheless, it was a bumpier start than what might have been expected from a less amorous Human unfamiliar with other cogniscent species and prepared to ask rude questions. In fact, the hiring of Human Jule may have been the inciting incident behind an Alliance-wide trend of adding "No Furries/Scalies need apply" to general employment enquiries on the infonets.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / drawkman]

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