Challenge #02378-F188: Anything You Can Do...

An idea for the humans/earth is space Australia. These aliens fight with their voice. But our songs are stronger. Opera singers? They can't even fathom, they just faint. Thought you'd have fun with it! Thank you -- Anon Guest

The Karolai had thought they were masters of tactics and the ultimate weapon. None had dared oppose them for a thousand years of glory. Their empire spanned most of a galactic arm, and they kept tight control of it with sonic weaponry. Like all empires of might makes right, they made one fatal mistake:

They tried it on the Humans.

Sound has been used offensively by Humanity on many occasions. As crowd control, as attempted bowel control[1], and as crime prevention.. Sound has been used benevolently for just as many purposes. Humans know about sound. They have even damaged themselves with its use over the centuries.

Therefore, when the Karolai attempted to pacify a Human settlement with their Bells of Doom, Humanity responded with the closest available soprano backed by the heaviest of electric guitar riffs. Adequately amplified for the Karolai benefit.

The result was three blown engines, two hull breaches, and a major mental breakdown in 79% of the crew manning the Karolai vessels.

Humans watching the spectacle were said to hold aloft small flames whilst cheering.

The Karolai empire collapsed soon thereafter, though the Humans were not the direct cause for a change. They were the inciting incident, the nail that was wanting. An empire built on being indomitable conquerers is destined for collapse from within and without the instant it finds someone who refuses to be conquered.

It gets worse if the society of conquerors is so assured of its might that it doesn't bother too much with defences. The Karolai were that, and corrupt, and decadent, and indolent. The empire crumbled like a badly-made cake. In less than a decade, it was just another collection of colonies looking for trade and help from the Alliance. Their conquered holdings returned to the original owners, and original squabbles exacerbated by the empire that once held them in place.

It was only after the ignominious end of the Karolai empire that they learned the Human idiom: If you can't baffle them with bullcrap, stun them with soundwaves.

They wisely decided to avoid all potential situations that could lead to 'bullcrap'.

[1] The mythical 'brown note' that loosens the bowels remains just that - mythical.

[Image (c) Can Stock Photo / raymac]

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