RE: The model overdrive - a page.
Your opening line is intriguing. I had to reread it twice as the combination of unfamiliar and silence was novel.
“made her feel” > “were”, This change of wording brings the reader close to experiencing the story from the protagonist’s POV, a more intimate form of third person.
Your first few paragraphs not much is happening but you still managed to make it intriguing because it includes several promises that there is more here than is being seen. Kudos, well done.
This is a bare beginning but a very strong one.
I’d suggest bringing in some action very soon now. Something more concrete. You’ve set the table. Time to make something happen.
Are you writing every day? It’s the habit that matters and the time you give it more than the word count or the perceived quality.
You must continue, even if only 15 minutes per day even if you think it’s bad writing. Just keep going.
I followed you and look forward to more!
Thanks! I'm building this habit, almost done with page 2. It's difficult because I don't have a very specific plan...just some general idea of were these characters will go and do. It's also very hard to create a character from ground up.
I think with anxiety about when they'll meet and interact...
BUT! appreciate a lot that you took this time, man! It's amazing. That's the kind of thing I want to do in the future too, help new ppl out.
I've learned a lot from your comment b t way!