Faucet Post for 18th July 2018 **FAUCET CLOSED**

in faucet •  10 months ago

STEEMIT Matters

Join my SydesJokes Faucet Discord channel.

The Faucet posts now go out Monday to Friday.

I will share the full post reward with all the people who Comment (jokes and motivational/inspirational quotes) and Upvote this post . If anyone wants to donate additional SBD as a sponsor you will be mentioned as a sponsor in the daily Faucet posts. Minimum donation to be a sponsor is 0.100 SBD.

No registration needed as the only thing people need to do is Comment and UpVote the post to be added to the days payout. Payouts will be calculated after 24 hours automatically so no further action needed.

Please make sure you Comment and Upvote while the Faucet is Open. If you do this after the Faucet is Closed you won't receive a share of the days payout.

Comments and Upvotes on these Steemit Faucet posts will NOT be counted towards my weekly payout.

Check the STEEMIT Matters Facebook Group. Give your Steemit ID or you won't be allowed into this Closed Group.

Today's Sponsors

Please follow them and Comment/Resteem/Upvote their posts to show gratitude.

Faucet Jackpot

If a Daily Faucet post gets over 600 comments or 800 upvotes, whichever comes first, the below 14 SBD sponsor donations will be added to that days payout.

The Faucet Jackpot target will rise on future posts.

New sponsor donations will be added to the below list until the Faucet Jackpot target above is reached. Sponsors should send a minimum of 1 SBD to @sydesjokes with a memo of "Faucet Jackpot donation".

SponsorSBD Donated
@sydesjokes10.000
@joanstewart2.500
@fhstralow1.500
@heartbeat15151.000
Total15.000

Faucet Payouts

Payments will be sent once they have reached 0.5 SBD. I had to add this payout limit because I have to send each payment manually now.

If you want your payout as SuperiorCoin before it reaches 0.5 SBD (you will need a Kryptonia.io account and provide your name there) use this FORM.

Buy SuperiorCoin -> http://csyd.es/BuySUP/

Register for a Kryptonia account and earn SuperiorCoins for doing tasks.

Join my SydesJokes Faucet Discord channel.

Past Faucet Posts

Faucet DateSponsorsCommentsUpvotesSBD Payout
17th July 201861214161.46
16th July 201861364890.91
13th July 201871414811.02
12th July 201881324731.21
11th July 201871885591.03
10th July 201881304301.28
9th July 201891234531.87
8th July 20186994060.92
7th July 201871574281.22
6th July 201871233611.14
4th July 201882355861.37
2nd July 201872275931.26
Faucet Posts for
June 2018
3211825821.40
Faucet Posts for
May 2018
65131431170.20
Faucet Posts for
April 2018
567812827104.70
Faucet Posts for
March 2018
380711626147.50
Faucet Posts for
February 2018
23917673211.00
Faucet Posts for
January 2018
50025940213.81
Faucet Posts for
December 2017
90572719.00
Totals2931967037802.30


Buy SuperiorCoin with Steem and Steem Dollar on Steemit

SydesJokes Blog

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#SuperiorCoin with #Kryptonia = #Upvotes on #Steemit

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Faucet Payouts for 17th July 2018

1.46 SBD shared with these 133 people so 0.011 SBD each.

Faucet Payout

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“The Talking Asshole Routine” from Naked Lunch)
William S. Burroughs
Did I ever tell you about the man who taught his asshole to talk? His whole abdomen would move up and down you dig farting out the words. It was unlike anything I ever heard.

This ass talk had sort of a gut frequency. It hit you right down there like you gotta go. You know when the old colon gives you the elbow and it feels sorta cold inside, and you know all you have to do is turn loose? Well this talking hit you right down there, a bubbly, thick stagnant sound, a sound you could smell.

This man worked for a carnival you dig, and to start with it was like a novelty ventriliquist act. Real funny, too, at first. He had a number he called “The Better ‘Ole” that was a scream, I tell you. I forget most of it but it was clever. Like, “Oh I say, are you still down there, old thing?”

“Nah I had to go relieve myself.”

After a while the ass start talking on its own. He would go in without anything prepared and his ass would ad-lib and toss the gags back at him every time.

Then it developed sort of teeth-like little raspy in-curving hooks and started eating. He thought this was cute at first and built an act around it, but the asshole would eat its way through his pants and start talking on the street, shouting out it wanted equal rights. It would get drunk, too, and have crying jags nobody loved it and it wanted to be kissed same as any other mouth. Finally it talked all the time day and night, you could hear him for blocks screaming at it to shut up, and beating it with his fist, and sticking candles up it, but nothing did any good and the asshole said to him: “It’s you who will shut up in the end. Not me. Because we dont need you around here any more. I can talk and eat and shit.”

After that he began waking up in the morning with a transparent jelly like a tadpole’s tail all over his mouth. This jelly was what the scientists call un-D.T., Undifferentiated Tissue, which can grow into any kind of flesh on the human body. He would tear it off his mouth and the pieces would stick to his hands like burning gasoline jelly and grow there, grow anywhere on him a glob of it fell. So finally his mouth sealed over, and the whole head would have have amputated spontaneous — (did you know there is a condition occurs in parts of Africa and only among Negroes where the little toe amputates spontaneously?) — except for the eyes you dig. Thats one thing the asshole couldn’t do was see. It needed the eyes. But nerve connections were blocked and infiltrated and atrophied so the brain couldn’t give orders any more. It was trapped in the skull, sealed off. For a while you could see the silent, helpless suffering of the brain behind the eyes, then finally the brain must have died, because the eyes went out, and there was no more feeling in them than a crab’s eyes on the end of a stalk.

Awesome, thanks!

Worrying is like paying a debt you don't owe.
Mark Twain

Congratulations @sydesjokes ! You received a 26% upvote from @kryptoniabot & @kryptonia for your task of 2500 SUP Today.

Remember to receive votes from @kryptoniabot

Run a task on Kryptonia.*Join free here Kryptonia Account
Use the tags KRYPTONIA or SUPERIORCOIN in your Steemit post.

Delegate to the Kryptonia Upvote by clicking links: 10SP , 50SP , 100SP , 500SP , 1000SP

Due to an increased amount of tasks, we have changed up the voting power to evenly spread out the Upvote amount.

Thanks again!

Unlearning is about moving away from something — letting go — rather than acquiring. It’s like stripping old paint. It lays the foundation for the new layer of fresh learning to be acquired and to stick. Margie Warrell

Thank you and the Sponsors so VERY much! These Faucets are out of this world! The Faucets and support is GREATLY appreciated! Your Friend @extraterrestrial :)

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Do you agree?

Welcome to Faucet Post for 18th July 2018.

be happy for this moment. This moment is your life.thank you

Thank you

Change yourself if you don't feel right about yourself

Thanks @sydesjokes

Thanks for the Payment

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Thx you sir! and you forgot the open faucet :P

This is great

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thanks my friend!

thanks.

Wacky Wednesday

This is great, thanks a lot.

"You don't need anybody to tell you who you are or what you are. You are what you are!" John Lennon

Gracias @sydesjokes!

Gracias, saludos

prevention is not always better than cure, sometime it requires analysis .

Thank you sponsors. 🙏

ladies and gentlemen, I present this wonder to my @pequef

Thanks

Thanks for sharing

Otra vez por aquí... hoy ha salido madrugador el premio.

Thanks

Hi...today is a busy day!!!...but I hope you have a great one...:)

nice post

This is turning more and more interesting each day, thank you. Kryptonia ID @mejia_martinez

Thanks for the info

thank you

Thank you sydesjokes

Great to hear from you.

It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.

Confucius

hello!!!

Regards

Thanks for evaluation;-)

thank you

thank you

Our normally sweet Great Dane has one quirk: She hates United Parcel Service drivers. While walking her one day, we came upon a guy delivering a package. Struggling to keep hold of her, I joked, “As you can see, she just loves UPS men.”

Circumnavigating us, he muttered, “Don’t you feed her anything else?”

Donald Dawson, Gilbert, Arizona

Q: What did the cat say when the mouse got away?

A: You've got to be kitten me!

Q: Why don't cats play poker in the jungle?

A: There are too many cheetahs.

Neither early nor late today.

ty

Life is hard said the farmer, then he shat a rock!

as always , Thanks.

Nice post. id is @grace234

Thank you so much.

All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.

Upvoted and follow.

Thank You ;)

Great Thought!

present!

present!!

present!

saludos, aqui estoy!

present.

Great stuff

Failure will never overtake me if my determination to succeed is strong enough.

Whoop

Good day everyone :)

Just checking in !!

Thanks a lot..

Is it still open?