Survivors: The System Is Terrifically Terrible But It Isn't Over For You -- A Message Echoed Out Loud
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If you learn and accept and embrace your story and you share it all the love that you never got people would love you because they want to see people survive.
These were the words of Lydia Joyner who grew up in foster care and was a ward of the sate and a carrier of a Trash Bag for 11 years.
According to Lydia, her mother had paranoid schizophrenia, one time she got behind the wheels, she said there was somebody after her, she believed this and was panicking. She was racing down the road slammed the car into a tree and Lydia and her cousin went through the shield.
That was how they both found themselves in the foster care, they were removed. They got into their first placement when they were 7. They both were separated in less than a week because they weren’t obeying the regulations of the home.
How Lydia Saw Foster Care
Lydia saw the foster care system as a different world that was happening among everybody as they are walking the street, people don’t realize nor understand that the person next to them is being taken from one home to the other, one place to the next.
The trash bag was her only family, no one cared and no one gave a damn about her. The trash bag was more like the only parent she had, because that was the only thing that stuck with her that long. This is how children feel living in the System, they are never in comfort and always which they had not been so unfortunate to be part of the American Foster System.
She Turned 18
When fosters turn 18, they get a freedom that they so desired, a freedom mired in a wooden wall without safety nor anything to fall back to. The street becomes the new home to most of them.
Lydia said “I couldn’t even write a check, I had no idea how to do that, so the simple basic things parents teach their children, I hadn’t been taught that. The journey through foster care is just something that is just out of this world”. And when she says "out of this world", she means it was Terrifically Terrible.
Before She Turned 18
She lived in 35 places before she turned 18. That is whole lot of places to live, having only a trash bag as a Parent. She had to camouflage everywhere she went.
- 35 places
- Had 18 Social Workers
- And her name changed 4 times(Both first and last names)
Source
Her Cousin
Lydia’s cousin wasn’t so lucky, the system got the heaviest bite off her. Those insane statistics we read of about homelessness, sexual abuse, drug, and every other thing that likely befalls all Young Teen girl in the foster system, she was a prime example. She was one of The Statistics.
- Got impregnanted at 14 by a DRUG DEALER
- At 15 she was within the walls of a prison (Caught with cocaine)
- At 16 she dropped out of school
- At 18 she was raped and murdered. Left on the street covered in pine needles.
Lydia Tells Her Story And Becomes A Fighter
Lydia Joiner’s decision was to tell her story and heal, she started “My Sky Is Falling”, which is an immersive story driven experience created to highlight the challenges foster children endure and pass through while in the System. She began to tell her story through EPIPHANY. She wove not just her experience but the experiences her cousin had to pass through as well.
She wears her emotions with pride, opens up about her traumatic past and connects back to the world, trying to influencing changes from the emotional perspective and more. To me, she is more of a fighter! and more valiant than a SEAL.
Please You Have to watch this Video.
MakeBloom’s Message To Every Foster Out There
Because you grew up in foster care doesn’t mean it is the end of your life, or your journey. It doesn’t mean you have to be part of the statistics. If you are reading this post right now and you have been in the system, or still in the system, I want you to know that there are Survivors, there are those who challenged the System to become what they are. Don’t give up, seek help, open up your heart to those around you.
It is very difficult to trust humanity after you have been beaten by the foster care system, I would even understand why you are addicted to drug, why you are homeless, why you can’t keep a job, why you can’t get a good meal, why you can’t trust any man or woman anymore. I get it! You are hurt and you’ve built a wall that you have kept impenetrable. Right this minute, I want to let you know that you are not alone. It isn’t too late either.
You can rewrite your story, you can become YOU again, devoid of all the loads that are crushing your spine right now. Seek help, come out of the shadow, tell your stories and I promise you, there are many people who will accept you for who you are and what you can become.
It isn’t your fault that the System swallowed and spat you out, but it would be a loss to you if you vanished away silently, without being heard or without you leaving a footprint. Tell your story and change the world for others who might be unfortunate.
Your Chapter Has Just Begun.
I Love To Make Blooms And Children Need It More Than Ever
Peace to you all,
MakeBloom
( @kryptocoin )
If you truly care and passionate about helping families and children worldwide facing CPS injustice, an healthy step is to JOIN the @familyprotection community.
I was shocked they made her change her name four times. There is no good reason that any could give for that. This suggests they were trying to confuse her mind by fragmenting her life segments into different name associations. I have not come across anyone saying this was done to them before (my research into those within the foster care system is lacking). Thank you for shedding light on this story and this practice of name changes. I am glad to see she was able to find her way to a foundation and has gained strength through the sharing of her life in that program.
She is a writer and anchor of the"My sky is falling" immersive experience
That part also surprised me. Why change her first and last name. Could it be there was a duo channeling of funds?. I can't see why this was done or needed to be done. At that point I was asking if "Lydia" was even her real name.. But It was..
It is hard to compute which is more destructive to a child
In foster care, at least you KNOW you have been abandoned. (or kidnapped) Then you can deal with the abandonment trauma and become a healthy adult.
Being raised by a single mother in today's world means you never realize that you are suffering from abandonment issues. Of course you never had a father to instill all the masculine traits that makes a person ready to face the world. (so people need safe spaces)
Unfortunately we live in a world that thinks that a stranger can raise a child better than the parent. Well, some strangers are so good, and some parents are so bad, that this can be true, but it is usually not. No one cares for a child as much as the parents do. No one else has that bond.
So, foster care is most cruelly measured in, were they alive when the reached 18? Well, 90% success rate, could be better, but could be worse.
But i don't think we are looking at 90%.
No one is reporting the actual numbers.
The actual numbers are/would be more alarming. If the actual numbers of all the ills that happen in the System was released, it would be equated to a Graveyard of body, soul and passion of these children! They always loss a lot no matter how "Good" they might turn out to be.
You are absolutely right!, On an equal ground, No one can ever love a child than their parents. But they think Uncle Sam can. 😞😞.
Thank you for the contribution@builderofcastles
It depends on the mother.
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All of these things depend on the specific person.
There are people who go through the worst of things and come out not only ok, but better.
But, when you are speaking of statistics,
the largest predictor of becoming a criminal, going to jail, dropping out of school, committing suicide and many other things is that the child was raised by a single mother.
Also there are many children who should be in foster care.
The largest section of these are those being raised by a narcissist.
However, a narcissist is the perfect person to put on a good front for the CPS, also they know to lawyer up quick because they know what they have been doing.
It needed mention because otherwise you made it sound that a single mother isn't capable of raising a child to be self dependent and earning a respect as a parent of filial piety while the child surpasses their peers in every single respect from emotional to social to intellectual intelligence, and that by default being raised by a single mother means that they aren't capable of facing the world.
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I just read your comment again and it dawned on me that I didn't look at the single mother aspect @builderofcastles, it would be a partial and illogical view to assume single parents couldn't do a good job.
I am not throwing away the fact that parenting is best done when "The Two" parents are involved, but I must say I have seen pretty great single mothers do a perfect job. Making a mountain out of any of these two instances is to joggle without directions.
Is the other parent alive?...if yes, it be great if the child connects to both sides. If No, you have no choice but to raise your child no way lesser than he would have been raised. You Just have to be the child's PARENT(two mixed in one) not just "mum" or "dad".
To listen to the audio version of this article click on the play image.
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