The crisis of the age of three years.

in edu-venezuela •  3 months ago  (edited)
Hi, I’m @roseri, welcome to my blog: #maternidadwithpurpose

The crisis of the age of three years, this refers to the special and relatively short life expectancy of the child, which is characterized by significant changes in his mental development.

This is the crisis of the formation of the personality, the crisis of the formation of independence, the period of the phenomenon "I myself". It can start in two and a half years, and when it ends it depends on the flexibility of the parents and their willingness to recognize the autonomy of the child, even if partial.

If the parents do not accept the rules of the game and do not change their attitude towards the child, then the symptoms of the three-year-old crisis, which are presented below, may persist until four or five years.

The child is aware of himself as an individual, with his own desires and needs. This is the most important thing of this crisis of the era. Therefore, for such a difficult period, not only are conflicts with the mother and father characteristic, but also the emergence of a new quality: self-consciousness.

And yet, despite the apparent maturity, the child does not understand how to obtain recognition and approval from parents. Adults continue to treat the child, as with a small and insensitive child, but to himself he is already independent and great. And such injustice makes him rebel.

Main signs of crisis

In addition to the desire for independence, a three-year crisis has other characteristic symptoms, due to which it can not be confused with bad behavior and child damage.



Negativism forces the child to oppose not only his mother's, but also his own desire. For example, parents offer to go to the zoo, and the crumb is categorically denied, although he really wants to see the animals. The fact is that the proposals come from adults. Disobedience and negative reactions must be distinguished. Naughty children act according to their wishes, which often go against the wishes of their parents.


Stubbornness is often confused with perseverance. However, perseverance is a quality of goodwill that allows the little man to reach the goal, despite the difficulties. For example, to finish building a house of cubes, even if it collapses. Stubbornness differs in the aspiration that the child will remain alone until the end only because he has already asked for it once. Suppose you called your son to dinner, but he refuses. You begin to convince, and he responds: "I already said that I will not eat, it means that I will not".


In most cases, this symptom occurs in families with only one baby. He is trying to get his mother and father to do what he wants. For example, a daughter requires that her mother be with her all the time.

4.Depreciation of symptoms.

Suddenly, the child begins to break toys, rip books, call names or simulate with his grandmother, with absolute rudeness. On the other hand, the baby's vocabulary is constantly expanding, replenishing itself, even with several bad and even indecent words.

5. shyness

This unpleasant symptom of crisis is impersonal. If the negativity concerns a particular adult, then the obstinacy is directed to the habitual way of life, to all the actions and objects that the relatives offer the child.

6. Will

There is a will in the fact that children fight for independence; regardless of the specific situation and their own capabilities. The child wants to buy any product in the store, pay in the box, cross the street without taking the hand of his grandmother.

What should parents do?

Adults should understand that children's behavior is not a bad inheritance or a harmful nature. Your son is already big and wants to be independent. It's time to build new relationships with him.

Reacts weighted and calm. It must be remembered that the child with his actions checks the strength of the nerves of the parents and looks for the weak points that can be pressed. In addition, you should not shout at children, and even more punish them physically, difficult methods can aggravate and prolong the crisis.

Establish reasonable limits. There is no need to make all kinds of prohibitions to the child. However, you should not go to the other extreme, otherwise, due to permissiveness, you risk raising a tyrant. Find the "midpoint", reasonable limits, for which you can not cross strictly. For example, it is forbidden to play on the road, to omit sleep during the day.

Promote independence. Anything that does not pose a danger to children's lives can be attempted by a child, even if several cups are broken in the learning process.

Give the right to choose.
Parents' wisdom suggests giving even a three-year-old the option of at least two options. For example, do not force him to wear clothes for the cold, but offer to leave with a green or red jacket.

Source of information:

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