Who do you trust and how do you trust? EcoTrain Question Of The Week!
Trust
I have gone through my life trusting others, believing that most people are inherently good. I have also trusted the wrong people and I have learnt from that, some of those lessons were very painful and really shook me to my core.
When we are born we trust our parents wholeheartedly, we trust that they will provide us with all that we need, and what we receive from them, really shapes us and our impression of the world.
I did not grow up in a loving, nurturing home, I did however grow up with a very strong connection to the natural world. I felt nurtured in nature, and I always felt a strong connection to other animals. I was that girl, who would be seen with lots of dogs trailing behind, my family dog and the neighbours dogs. They trusted me and I trusted them. The same went with my neighbours cows, I would go for walks in the fields and they would walk with me.
So my ability to trust, came more from other animals that from people, but because of the trust and because of that relationship I had in nature, I knew that we all had our place there, even if most of the people I saw had forgotten that. Feeling that connection really allowed me to feel connected with myself and to trust myself.
But emotions can get in the way and when we really crave to be loved, we can stop listening to ourselves, indeed there is that saying 'Blinded By Love'.
Because for all the trust I have in myself and my ability to read people, my feelings have over ridden that instinct in the past and I have been in relationships that were very destructive and painful. But then I really believe that my journey with love is all about breaking the pattern that my parents have created in their relationship. So in a way, I went through each of those relationships so that I could learn and grow. Trusting in the universe and the path that I am on.
When it comes to my friends, I really go with my instinct. The people who I am close to, are people that I trust. If I do not trust some one then I will not welcome them into my life. I can be polite to someone when I see them, but I trust my gut instinct 100 %, for example if I meet someone who is disrespectful towards animals or our natural environment that you and me are not going to be friends. Again I can be polite and I am quite happy to engage with you, but I will not trust you.
I get a very uneasy feeling when I meet some people, a heaviness comes over me and I know that I am picking up on their energy. I know that we can all have days when the energy we put out is heavy, so I usually like to meet people a few times. But for some I only need to meet them once to know whether or not I can trust them. Watching how they engage with others, with their environment and their eye contact all speaks volumes to me.
One of my biggest lessons in Trust, came when I went on a 2 month trek, in the mountains with my girls and a friend and her son. Those of you who follow me, already know about the trek, but for those who don't, we had 2 horses. I led one, and she carried our tent and supplies and would also carry my daughters at different times.
I had no experience with horses prior to this, I have always loved them, but I have never wanted to ride them. It is just something that never appealed to me. But having the opportunity to walk with them for 2 months was something I really wanted to do. We made sure that they did not carry a lot of weight and off we went.
Of course I was nervous at times, especially in the beginning and especially when we had to walk along a precarious track. I found very early on that if I did not feel confident that Solas (our Horse friend) did not want to walk with me. She would always try and charge ahead. Which as you can imagine is not really safe on a precarious track.
I had to find the confidence within myself, I had to trust myself and my abilities before she would trust me!
So everyday I took a deep breath, took in my surroundings and said, I can do this! And you know what, I did and Solas was only too happy to walk alongside me.
In order for others to trust us and vice versa, we really need to first trust ourselves.
I could not finish this post, without talking about the trust I have in my children and their ability to learn and teach themselves. The fact is, that they are born trusting their own natural instincts and this is what drives their desire to learn and explore. They are so in touch with themselves and it is only from our interference that they begin to self doubt their abilities.
Trusting your children, is one of the greatest gifts that you can give them and from that trust their respect for you grows.
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Your story spontaneously reminded me of the book "Snow Child" by Nicolas Vanier. I laughed a lot about terrible horses and enjoyed the humor the author sprayed.
Self-confidence is certainly a key to maturing into a human being who respects all living beings. I very much see that the way you do.
Though some further thoughts: Having trust would be a pointless undertaking if it were not disappointed in good time. Disappointment is not something that can be chalked up to someone else, only something that you didn't see yourself and then began to see from a certain point in time. The point is, it's easy to trust people who are friendly to other living beings because they have already achieved something that other people have not yet achieved. The hard cases deserve our trust all the more because they can obviously be observed being unfriendly to other living beings. But this unfriendliness is not manifest and is only an excerpt of what you see of them at the moment when you catch them being negligent. As long as you yourself can do without people spontaneously trusting you because they observed you in a weak moment when you were unfriendly to other living beings, the world is fine. But if you like to have the confidence of people who experience you with a weakness and who say of you that they remain polite to you, but don't trust you a metre over the way, they fix the image of you as manifest.
It would only be manifest if a person were permanently, durably and consistently unfriendly to all living beings. Such a person is probably very rare, because there are always people or living beings in his life who receive his kindness. Besides, we cannot know that exactly. Someone may tend to be an unfriendly person, probably because he himself believes that the world is populated by rather unfriendly people.
You probably wouldn't find it entirely fair to be classified by someone's gut feeling as "not trustworthy per se" just because you have just had a moment of weakness. I agree with the gut feeling in that it perceives something momentary in space-time, but it doesn't have to be true per se (neither the past nor the future).
That which you turn away from has decided that it is not trustworthy, is more likely the self-recognizing. An uneasiness that reminds you of what it feels like to have been unfriendly, mean or hurtful to other living beings.
The healing is found in trusting someone who is clumsy and unfriendly, and by experiencing it, he can learn to be trusted despite his weaknesses. Healing, on the other hand, is not so urgent for those who are already friendly to all living beings. They have already achieved what most of us have not.
what a wonderful response. I am not one to judge others on first encounters, very very rarely if ever to be honest. But I have come across people who are abusive to animals and other humans and I stand by my inability to trust them. I do understand that we need to accept people for who they are and I do, do that. I am here to be the best version of me and I am at that stage in my life where I want to surround myself with people who are open and honest and loving. I know we all have bad days and I know that we can take it out on others, those are not the people I was referring to. I have as much respect for animals as I do for humans and I will always find it difficult to fully trust those who do not, that is me being true to who I am. All beings deserve love and respect in life xxxx
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Your journey to trusting :
"I had to find the confidence within myself, I had to trust myself and my abilities before she would trust me"
Doesn't it seem that just about every rewarding journey in life ends with self awareness?
I similarly have had a problem with trusting others. I moved beyond this by deciding that getting hurt wasn't the worst thing that could happen to me. Life is an adventure. And some people are really worth knowing. But I'll never get to know these people if I'm guarding all the time.
It's lovely to read about your children, and your good relationship with them. I think love is the best foundation for trust :)
thank you @agmoore xxx
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hug back @amico xx
Anyone whom is aware of the environment is a person of my heart and instinct is something we all have to rely on sometimes. Such as my instinct is saying steem will be bigger than we all can believe someday.
thank you and yes I believe that too, we are creating something wonderful here xx
Those are the skills they don't teach you at school
Solving math problems = analytical skills
English and other languages = understand another way of thinking
Building trust = connecting with another being
very true indeed @zen.fit xx
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thank you xx
God bless you. I also experience that gut feeling and kind of absorbing the energy of those around. It kind of gets you down when people do not say it aloud but emit negative energy. it is just the opposite of nature. Like walking along a river path and feeling that positive energy - that is so awesome.
I hear you @sayee, we learn a lot from the energy that others give off, and yes the energy from nature is another thing altogether, nature flows and that is exactly how it should be xx
https://steemit.com/ecotrain/@orlev/qotw-trust
My first entry..!! So excited...
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I look forward to reading it xx
Thx it's actually a video... Hope you enjoy it.. 😊
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trust is def a funny thing. i've always gone on my intuition, until i learned that sometimes its faulty. its like fairy land. you believe because you want to believe. you want the happily ever after, true love, peace, goodwill and common good.
greed sucks. survival of the fittest sucks. is competition really innate or is it taught to us by assholes who want to be the winners and take everything? i kinda question this social teaching, because i think that type A personalities think they have the "truth" because it is their truth - not everyone elses. but because they control everything, we have no choice but to follow. or do we?
i think it would be interesting to see what would happen if the people that believe in trust and free will and sharing just went off and did their own thing and told the leaders to go fuck themselves. if war is about people fighting over resources or beliefs, i'd say its more likely that the assholes cant stand being ignored and being able to dominate everyone else.
ya im in a weird mood today. i'd say trust comes with recognizing whether you are trying to love a predator. remember, love cannot change the basic nature of who someone is. sometimes you just need to walk away.
I really like your mood today and I agree with what you are saying, and yes sometimes you really do just need to walk away I have been reminded of that often recently xxx