Twin flames, soul mates, life partners, husbands, wives.......girlfriend, boyfriend, life partner, lover, mate......
I tend to stay away from all these words when defining a relationship.
Historically and cinematically, these labels come with lots of stories, and they are not always healthy interdependent tales. In fact, most relationships on the tube are the opposite. And people love a good drama and pain body experience, and so we learn that manipulation and lies, cheating, and abuse is normal. Fake orgasms, unhealhty projections and blame also the norm.
Further more, rather than growing Love organically in a liberated state of mutual benefit and expansion, labels can easily peg us into frames of fantasy relationship, expectations, and dreamy unfilled futures constantly leaving one another in task mode to meet each other expectations, rather than unconditional giving.
Alot of fairy tale romances show great degrees of dependency and unrealistic terms of service. You witness the love affair and the I do's and... well the rest is a bit 'ol mystery! Leaving us pining for the ultimate end all be all relationship.
I have never wanted to marry till death do us part. I prefer more of a surrendered path of the highest and best.
I have met many soul mates, women and men, was sure I met my twin flame years ago, and never have I had such a powerful magical and loving connection than I do now without all these labels.
As labels create stories, fantasies, and expectations, healthy relationship elements are agreements, discernment, needs authenticity and boundaries. I love Non-violent Communication (NVC) techniques for needs meeting.
Deciding that one person is or will be your fated love story is short sighted. This may be your Truth, and you could argue that you've found your twin flame and you are sure you will be together for the end of time, have been in all other lifetimes, and will be in all future timelines.
Beyond the event horizon of such a tail of destined fate, I'd like to share some tips today that will help us create transformative amazing real connections that bring you and the other much evolution, expansion, growth, and happiness.
We all love a good romance, a soul forever connected romance. And what does this really mean? It means loving the other without attachment.... To Set the Other Free!
Loving without attachment and with all of our Heart and fears is Big Work. What's best for you, may not be best for the other, and yet your goal is to see each other SHINE! grow and expand and mutually share more Love and enjoyment.
Is this a relationship magically concocted in the stars to forever prevail in perfect harmony?
I see relationship, really great relationship from another lens, and its about SOUL GROWTH.
This lens is that of consistent growth, support, upliftment, honesty, authenticity, willingness to move through fear and illusions, and love beyond labels or expectations and assumptions, insecurities and ancestral wounding.
Let's get to it.
Love from the Soul.
Eye gazing is one of the best ways to feel the other's soul. With eye gazing, we hold each other's eyes in treasured moments of connection. We may feel total completion, oneness, and bliss, or even awkwardness as separation dissolves and we are raw and exposed. We learn that we can feel this in the reflection of anyone's eyes. If your relationship is not connected on this level, please spend time in loving presence holding the eye gaze of another. Take 10 minutes of uninterrupted time to sink into the depths of the soul of the other. Eventually all eye contact is soul connected.
Love from the MOMENT.
Do not think about 4 years from now, or next month. Love from the Now. Rather than spending time imagining future fantasy moments, make the most of the moment RIGHT here and now in awe and gratitude.
Love with Presence.
Love to truly understand and support the other - in what is best for them, not what you want for them or they can give you. When in connection, be fully present with your heart, eyes, and body. Truly listen to understand.
Love with Authenticity.
Love from honesty and clear communication. Be real about what your needs are, and create space for the needs of the other to be heard and met. Be honest when you feel out of alignment with your Truth and take the necessary steps to realign with self, and the other.
Love with Stillness.
In today's busy world of do-ers, we tend to do and do some more. Rather than go on another date to look outside for fun. Come to appreciate the vast gift of presence, eye contact, being with the other in meditation, deep embraces, and non-doing.
Love with your Whole Self.
Do not come with a half-opened heart, to protect yourself from future hurts. Love with a fully open heart, letting the other truly know the magic that you are. Anything less than your full self is unfair to you and the other. Let your shadow be an opportunity for clear seeing, rather than blaming or shaming one another, or yourself. Let your human be free and safe.
Love without Judgment or Control.
We all have preferences and ideals about what is right. Let the other person be their best selves without condemning or judging their behavior. Ask the other if feedback is able to be received, rather than dishing out unsolicited advice.
Give love, more love and support, special time and moments of care to the other. Show them they are fully loved and supported, and hold them in the LIGHT of LOVE in your heart. Do not measure tit for tat or equal reciprocation.
In order to receive Love from the other, loving yourself is KEY. Stand empowered in your Truth, rather than expect that your needs will be met. Ask for what you want, and encourage the other to do the same. Be clear with your boundaries and availability to serve. Accept and Give Love when both of you are fully present.
Speak and Intend Kindness.
Tone is so important. This goes for all moments with all relating, and if you are spending a good deal of time with an "other" God reflection, then, What are you bringing to the field in the moment? Make sure the other is ready to hear what you are sharing with an open heart, presence, and open ears. Always take a breath, a long deep breath, and STOP, if a trigger occurs, or you notice a heated tone starting to rise. The Love, kindness and presence we hold for one another radiates and amplifies.
Create special moments for just the two of you. Some of my favorites are going on walks, creating a project together, massage, love sessions, making a meal and enjoying it together and simply presencing each other's days. What were your wins? What are you most grateful for? I value presence and soul connection, sensual touch and co-inspired missions.
And that's just a taste of the sensuous divine nature of intimately communing with another I AM that you are.
I Love You, Lila*Star