Tribesteemup bi weekly question: Experiences that shaped who I am today
Here is a short clips of the landscape from Pitztal Tyrol this where I was born, its my family history spanning back for generations with a deep routed culture but I'm really an outsider growing up in London, this was a place I would visit most years manly in the summer time. Many positive memories where formed here playing outside on the grass with my cousins and neighbours, hide and seek in the corn, climbing over fences through cow fields, eating berries from the garden, and other homegrown delights and most importantly my grandmas traditional home cooking. She lived to 92 and probably could of gone on longer if it wasnt for the pain in her back from a hard life working the land as a girl and young woman, otherwise she was healthy, her mind was strong until the end.
Coming back here for her funeral has allowed me to strengthen those bonds with my family and embrace a very strong roman Catholic culture I always rebelled against as an outsider. I've become over the years to be more at peace with it, the church is an integral part of village life from birth to death, it is comforting to people to make sense of their life here.
The natural landscape and the seasons, all have a hold over daily life, its a lot easier now than in my grands day, where people would get snowed in, their water supply frozen and the temperature droping to - 20. The house where my gran grew up was particularly isolated and wouldn't even get direct sunlight in the winter solscitice time because the mountain side blocks the sun's low path. She would have to walk with sacks of potatoes from the fields up the mountain and even further, at least 1 and half hours walk to take the harvest to market to sell.
My gran taught me to be strong and tough, to face life difficulties and not give up.
She was generous even though she did all she could to save every penny she could to give her family a better and easier life than she had. Welcoming and warm, she would make sure you were cosy and well fed. A perfect mother figure to me and it only became apparent in my mind that she was just that until she had already passed away.
My grandparents wanted me to be brought up here and they would always cry when my mum took me back to London. I do wonder what my life would of been like if I was a true Austrian. I know I have experienced a lot more from living outside of this close knit enviornnent. My mum is an alcoholic and her depressive mood swings, violent outbursts, lack of concentration and low energy had an effect on my personality growing up....it has taken me years to break those pattern of behaviour and also one reason I completely gave up drinking alcohol myself. My grandmother drank very little throughout her life, occasionally a schnapps as its said to be good for stomach problems, or occasionally a very small glass of wine with dinner, she would always say that sparkling wine was rats poison. (exactly the stuff my mum likes to drink!)
My gran would always wake up at the crack of dawn and be active through the day, she rarely got sick all things my biological mother is unable to do and she suffers with so many illness and a negative disposition. Even my gran would do everything she could for my mother and always try to think the best of her, I don't think she realized that my mum had a problem with booze to be honest I didn't myself until I stopped drinking. Just because it's not from morning until night, even having a few glass to a bottle a night to yourself is a problem and when after you drink you turn into a horrible person, forget what you say, forget what people say to you and can't function... And are in denial about it yourself....its a problem!
As I got older I started coming to visit my family without my mum, which allowed for me to be more myself, my mum is extremely needy and manipulative and creates arguments over nothing, she would often use me as a crutch and I would feel like the mum in the relationship. It has been a massive release to get away from my mum and form stronger bonds with my family.
I still feel like I'm so many ways I was still getting to know my granny and she will be very missed in my heart and the family as a whole. She was one of the oldest people in the village and many people knew her. She had a lovely sweet voice and infectious laugh.
Thank you for teaching me how to be connected to nature, teaching me disapline, how to cook, to work hard and just be a nice person.
Grandma 'oma' Rosa thank you for everything, we love you and miss you!
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