DTube Real Talk: Is Chivalry Dead?
Hey guys!
So Just a quick little thought for you today, and that's: is chivalry dead? I kind of explore that topic and my outlook on it in this video, and I invite you to consider what chivalry means to you, if you think it's dead, and if so, if you think it could/should make a comeback!
I am personally all about that chivalry, so I wish it would make a comeback but let me know what you think!
Happy Sunday Steemies!
xx~Beth
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Hey,
I am 26 and thought chivalry had died and rotted into the ground. I was single for 4 years, and that was me being open to dating!
I thought this is why people settle.
But one night I went out to a country bar to celebrate being accepted into my program at university and I asked a guy to two-step.
He is now my boyfriend and he is the gentleman I thought didn't exist like big-foot.
He takes care of me. Literally makes my breakfast every morning and tea, cooks supper, will do laundry, takes garbage out whenever needed, feeds my fish whenever he looks hungry, supports anything I do. It is amazing. And I never once asked him to do these things. I have never asked him to pick up groceries and toilet paper. But he does. I am sure if tampons was on the list he would call to make sure he got the right kind. He is everything I didn't expect to find again. So it is there. It may be like freak sightings, but maybe big-foot does exist hahaha.
That just warmed my cold dead heart.
Haha.
I'm so glad you found someone chivalrous! Hang on really tight! :)
I had a cold dead heart as well, what people don't realize is they can be regenerated....like the liver of alcoholics hahahaha
Haha I think I have a dead heart and a dead liver. (I think sometimes the two go hand in hand lol)
hahahaha right!!!! Finally someone with my humour on this site
If the measure of this is the amount of lawn mowing, due to where I am, it is currently dead. But as of May 1st every year, I have approximately 2 - 3 acres to push mow. There aren't any women here though, so does that count?
As for the Amish around here, I see the women doing plenty of work too. But an Amish man is practically never idle either. They've got hundreds of acres of farm land that they plant using no other equipment than a couple of horses, sunup to sundown...
My work around here is pretty seasonal, so either it's chopping wood, stacking wood, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, watering the garden (often using the tractor and trailer with water jugs from snake creek). When there's drought, we shut down the pipes and haul 5 gallon buckets using the creek water about 150 yards away and use it to flush the toilet by pouring it into the back every flush. Life around here is hard, but it helps keep my blood sugar in control.
I have no problem with both people pitching in...when both people are actually pitching in. It tends to get a little unbalanced around here though, and I often feel like I am picking up the majority of the slack. Though it is nice to be treated like a lady every once in a while.
That is an insane amount of grass. You really push mow that? You are a beast, my friend. I thought my yard was a lot to push-mow!
I used to push mow the entire lot in about 2.5 hours, but these days I usually break it down into 3 separate days of about 45 - 55 minutes while doing other stuff. Dad offered to buy a riding mower (I could have done that myself) but what's the point of exercising in the attic with weights or walking a treadmill when you can do something useful? We've got 70 acres that is mostly wild now. (the arrow of wildness pointing NNE in this Google maps pic)
@bethwheatcraft go for the push mower dude! He clearly doesn't put himself first all the time.........lmao
God I hope that came across exactly how I was hoping.
Working together for a common goal is different than chivalry, in my opinion. (working together is a fantastic thing!)
Yep, thank femenism for that one. And yes chivalry is not dead. Men don't want to be yell at anymore.
Beth, I think a lot of guys nowadays have this idea that women should be perfectly capable of doing more strenuous things or less desirable things because they have this perception that women want to be equal so they just kind of in their head throw their hands up in the air, and kind of declare, "okay then be equal". That being said it has been taken too far. And I think a lot of it has to do with men being lazy. My wife and I had a similar struggle to yours where she felt I wasn't having her back on some things, but she was very vocal about it, over a long period of time, and although I may not agree with everything, I've had to make an adjustment because I love her and I value her. And in doing so I've come to realign my thoughts on chivalry. I used to be of the mindset that I didn't need to have her back because she could defend herself just fine, but in actuality it meant so much to her when I did have her back that I realized I needed to realign my perception of things. I hope your husband is receptive to this because I think it's important for him to hear what you're saying about it. I won't lie at times I thought my wife was nagging me about things like this, and maybe some of my own maturity has played a part in my perception that she needs to be treated like a lady and that it's important to her. But that only became important to me after she kept on and on about it. Hopefully this doesn't really become as big of an issue with you and your husband as it did with us, but really the only cure in my opinion is if your husband sits down and listens to what you have to say about this. Good luck.
Fuck yeah that shit is dead.
Chivalry died with feminism.
I completely understand how women not wanting to be paid less means that guys shouldn't be gentleman anymore. The logic is sound as fuck. All feminism ever means is people want to be treated the same. THATS ALL. Anyone that takes it further needs to calm down. But because I want to not be treated as the lesser and weaker sex doesn't mean I don't want to be treated well, and that someone else is going to be treated well in return.
#improveyourargument
You just don't see the logic.
But that doesn't surprise me.
Please explain to me why it doesn't surprise you that I don't get it....is it because I am female, or because I am blonde in my picture I am interested what stereotype makes you so sure. Cheers.
It's not dead. I buy Suit jackets from Goodwill and throw them on mud puddles for women crossing the street. LOL not...
It's alive. It might not be as common. But it's alive. My father in law still waits for all of us to go in the car before he goes in. When we go out to eat, I still open the door for my wife to go in and still make sure she sits down first before I sit. I think it depends what kind of culture you grow up in. I grew up in an old school Asian culture. I remember my grandfather scolding me and sitting me down for a "talk" when I didn't take my girlfriend home and just let her go home on my own. My dad would always remind me that if I'm walking on a sidewalk, to walk on the side where the car will hit me first just incase an accident happens.
At the same time, I've seen just super butch guys turn into knights in shining armour after they've learned how to be chivalrous. It can be taught as well. In fact, it's something we also taught at John Robert Powers Manila. Probably because the Philippines is very old school.
Thought-provoking. I hope your hubby doesn't see this video though! LOL - blockchain forever!
Oh he knows, he just doesn't care. I am not sure chivalry can be taught, but it's certainly good to know that it's not dead!
Fwiw, I do care and this is some bullshit.
What's true - I'm bad about keeping up with chores. This is the core of her complaint.
What's not true - that I do it to spite her.
What's not true - that I do nothing.
What's not true - that I do it because I believe in social/political equality of the sexes rather than because I am lazy and/or forgetful.
What's true - I don't rush around to the other side of the car to open my wife's door.
What's also true - She gets out before I have a chance to. I'm usually unbuckling the kids so they can get out of the car, and so that she doesn't have to.
What's true - Early on in our relationship, a professional associate insulted Beth, one who I thought had the potential to take my career to the next level. I had to choose between a potentially life-changing career opportunity and sticking up for Beth. Being dirt poor, I tried to strike a balance, and it didn't pay off, but it wouldn't have paid off even if I'd made it. It was a mistake and I've since then I've tried to avoid making that mistake again.
What's not true - that I've never stuck up for her. I had such a big row with my mother over comments she made I didn't talk to her for half a year. That was considered selfish because I've had issues with my mum before, but never quite like that. I burned bridges with my brother right before his wedding because of what he did to her. This was also considered selfish because I've had prior beef with him. I unnecessarily burned bridges with a friend who used to be a roommate with us in solidarity with Beth who was upset that she left. This didn't count because she felt I was trying to arbitrarily prove that I'd stick up for her. All of this hasn't counted to Beth because it was deemed too selfish because I've had prior beef with them. There is currently a member on this site who is sexually harassing Beth in messages and I want to take a swing at him. She doesn't want to "rock the boat" by doing anything about it or calling him out because he is a powerful member here on Steemit. She has sternly expressed her wishes - that I do not stick up for her in this case because of what she could lose if they decided to downvote her into the dirt, and if others like him wanted to "protect one of their own." This is a similar choice I faced, and she is making the same mistake, and she doesn't want me to be chivalrous in this situation.
She has made it clear she doesn't want what she says she wants in this video. I need to mow lawns and keep up with chores (fair) and burn bridges with people I have not had prior beef with for anything I do to count. Bullshit.
What will both of you do to remedy the situation? @bigfatastro @bethwheatcraft
Maybe duke it out in a live wrestling match on dlive...
Beth needs to not be solely responsible for major chores around the house, and she needs time and she needs money. I will try to remedy the situation by doing better with finishing chores in a timely manner and make every effort to give Beth uninterrupted time away from the kids to work on projects and earn as much money as possible. I will also make efforts to be more chivalrous in everyday life, in ways big and small.
I would also like for who is harassing her, if they're reading this, to apologize to her, to help her with the opportunity she is seeking and treat her with the respect she deserves by dropping the sexual talk.
Not a big fan of chivalry. I think the idea that men should act different than women is weird and I myself just dont give a shit.
But human relationships should be up to only their participants and if there are women and men that enjoy chivalry thats great for them.
Is this chivalry?
https://steemit.com/smt/@jhsbeat/smt-smart-media-token
What the deuce? HAha.
Most men are naturally chivalrous (imo) - it's part of that whole natural male/ female thing.
Weird stuff!
Modern feminism has ripped that out of men's natural 'behaviour' to girls - which is really sad. (although in fairness, blame can be attributed to the men also, for _allowing the change).
It twists natural dynamics. Which is shite!
I love showing respect, and caring for the opposite sex. (yes, I will go to the shop for tampons - I never even thought if it as a 'thing', until I read another comment here!)