Petra Jordan - Haunted By Memories (Weather EP - 2006)

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I wrote this song not even knowing where it came from... I always had an image of a man sitting at a bar, at an old ranch, with his old car parked outside, talking to this woman who is very intuitive and understands that he's dealing with some tough stuff... but he doesn't really want to say what it is...

For some reason, I always thought of my dad (who I only met once, and much later after I wrote this song...). It turns out that he was wanted by police since he was quite outspoken against the communists... (and also because he needed to pay alimonies for me ;) ).

When I met him in real life, I realized that it's a man who is totally not at peace with his past, rejecting it, hiding from it, suppressing it... Really, the people that do things that hurt others only hurt themselves... and also they hurt others in the first place because they're hurting.

You can escape from your physical environment but you can't escape from your mind's environment...

HAUNTED BY MEMORIES

No name of this road
You car’s got no license plate
And you told me your fake name
And you think that I’ll fall
For your bright lies

You sit on the chair at the bar
Won’t look at me once
And you scatter the words
Like the sound of a gun
When your eyes tell me eyes

I’m haunted by memories
Wanted by the police
Haunted by my crime
That i didn’t mean
Don’t look at me and read my mind
I’d better be dead by now
You’d be a fool if you wanted to know
So leave me alone

Look, it’s not in my power
To work out the ways of the heart
And put the things back to start
But there’s some other power
That I feel
At night when the lamp lights the room
And the spirit comes over
And I put my old ways
Into his hands
And I cry when I ask for forgiveness,
Sometimes

But you say

I’m haunted by memories
Wanted by the police
Haunted by my crime
That I didn’t mean
Don’t look at me and read my mind
I’d better be dead by now
You’d be a fool if you wanted to know
So leave me alone

On the way, I lost the track
And I’m feeling shadows on my back
I scream and see that it’s not me
That man I was I’ll never be

‘cause I’m a criminal on the street
Haunted by my own deed
Haunted by my crime
That I didn’t mean
With me go the memories
As I’m facing the police
With a bullet in my heart
I finally feel free

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