ZOOM!

Cum and go.

Clean up and leave the house. Grab my cigarettes and my wallet. My watch and my phone. Off to a night of debauchery and sexual deviancy. No time to write.

DON'T FUCKING READ THIS. STOP READING THIS. THIS IS IT. THIS IS THE EPITOME OF AN INTELLECTUAL THROW UP. STOOOOOOOOOOOP.

I can tell you are still reading this. Why though? How am I able to do this? Perhaps it is NLP. You don't even know what that is, right?

Funny how I am saying ABSOLUTELY nothing right now, yet you are still reading. Your eyes are going right and left, up and down.

"What does that weird internet guy is blabbing about? I don't know, but I feel sexy reading him..."

How am I doing that?

It's my one super power. I am a rap writer. [trademark]. This is my thing. My one superpower. I have the best flow on the blog. No one can beat ME!

Yes, I am crazy and YES, I may suffer from demons and what not, but I am. I AM!

I do things. I exist and live a life. I am real. More real than any other stupid fuck you're reading when you are bored. I can make you dance like a monkey, because I talk like a human person (no typo).

It's like you are in front of me and I look straight into your eyes and you look back and we make a silent nod of agreement: "We are pretenders"

But I am NOT. I don't care for most, but I care for you. Not you the reader. For whoever is in front of me. I really care for people. On a deep level. I hurt when I look at them. I have the suffering of the world imprinted in my automated responses.

I could have ended up a whiny bitch. I was made from the same ilk hippies were made. But something went wrong (or extremely right!) along the way and I broke down 3-4 times. And I made steel. And a sword.

And I am me. And I am sharp and tough and I cut like a glass.

If I could summarize my life in 3 words: Hit or Miss

Yeah, sounds good. Because it is accurate as fuck.

If you are still reading, I want to have sex with you. Unless you have a wee-wee.

- Thatredbeardguy

P.S- ZOOOOOM