"The People You Meet" - A Signpost To The Underlying Energetics Of A Cause | Discernment Diaries - Part 2

in #discernment6 years ago (edited)

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Many times in my life I suddenly found myself in the midst of a new crew. Looking back this happened regularly after discovering major flaws in my worldview's current logic that demanded rectifying, or finding out about a new thing I really liked (like discovering new styles of music) and so I would eventually move on to "the next thing" to meet new people on a similar wavelength like myself. A place that felt more like home than the one that didn't seem to fit anymore.

And over time I began to recognize that the people following a cause can in themselves be a helpful tool in discerning the merit behind the idea or "thing" that attracted us here, long before I had understood what I had gotten myself into.


"What are you talking about?"


Whenever I got into a new thing, I was happy to meet others who would introduce me to the subject matter of the group, its customs and culture.

I will pick an easy example here, though there are many: When I got into the rock scene playing in bands with my friends – a whole avalanche of new habits and outlooks came my way. I absorbed them almost automatically the more I had to do with our local scene, with other bands, with the rocking party life on the weekends, with all the tiny details that make up life as a rocker.

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It may have been unconscious at the time, but as humans we really try our best to fit in with the crew we think we belong to, and so it seems rather natural that we should take on those people's attitudes and preferred forms of identification (fashion, customs, slang) that distinguish it from other groups and scenes.


When the new normal becomes blinding


After a while, the "new thing" had become so utterly normal and integrated into my way of being that I could hardly remember how I had been before. Not only that but I also started to notice certain things I didn't like about the people I kept meeting in my new scene.

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I noticed for example, that there would not be much communication going on at a live show – here we all were, by our own volition, even wearing t-shirts of our common favorite band playing, but somehow we never quite said "hi" to one another. It was kind of weird actually. You get a club full of people who love what you love, but somehow nobody seems really interested or "brave enough" to start a conversation with someone new. I noticed more and more that there was an unnecessarily aggressive degree of tribalism to the people visiting these shows (including myself) and that most people there would do their best to stay within their familiar group, as opposed to saying hi to the others, meeting new people with a similar passion to extend their circle of friendship.

I even saw fights and rough dialogues happen outside the venues late at night, which really made me wonder: Do I really belong here? We all love this band, and it was a great show... so why the hell would we even want to hit each other in the face now?

Granted I was never big on getting into fights, but it seemed to me that fighting like-minded people seemed rather stupid and obviously counterproductive considering we all came to the club to enjoy the music we loved. Couldn't we instead band together and throw shit at the rappers instead (I thought I hated rap back then ;))

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A degree of pretense


After a while it occurred to me that the fights and disagreements themselves were not really serious at all but rather: geared to look serious...

Sure, they were physical, emotional and often times even harmful to those taking part... but it didn't really seem to be about "the thing" anymore, the "thing we all shared" - but instead about completely mundane issues that had little to do with our shared passion and more to do with artificial ego notions to fight over.

Often times, people would simply start to insult one another out of a misunderstanding or impatience. Add a lot of alcohol to that and soon a real situation developed rather quickly. Like territorial aggression.

And I grew tired of it.

Tired of how other people around would jump in, with a semi-smirky face, being grateful to be the center of attention for once, pretending to be some knight of justice to settle the situation (while actually amping up the situation with even more violence).

I grew tired of how any bit of communication with a random girl would instantly be interpreted as blatant flirting with "my girl" as he often put it - the guy who hasn't even heard what I just said to "his girl" and even getting ready to fight it out with me in some primal display of affection and protection for the lady in question, in public. As if I had actually grabbed her chest while grinning at the guy.

It seemed many of these people were into violence, in a weird indirect way, provoking it without ever quite saying so outright. Nobody would openly declare it but instead try to appear civil and diplomatic, until the excuse came along to get rough.

And the broken glass, give me a break!

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Broken bottles everywhere we went, in front of the club, even inside. It seemed way too much glas for a few people just having dropped their bottles accidentally. And then I saw a group of concert goers who were throwing glas bottles into an empty street for fun, trying to lure out some laughs of their own crew. "Look how bad ass I am" – kinda thing. Yeah suuuuper bad ass. I didn't consider myself a hippie back then but damn did I deem that behavior antisocial.

I was still quite young at the time, but the childish undertone of these habits was completely going against my desire to be "a grown-up". And while I thought that the scene would be my new home, I found myself amongst too many people who seemed to appreciate it for other reasons than the "universally declared awesomeness of rock". Other patterns were at play here that were never discussed. Ego patterns, carefully hidden under false pretense. This is proven through years of experience in the scene for me.

I eventually realized that the scene itself was keeping these patterns alive through those who would come and nurture it through their presence and participation. Like me. Later I realized this also includes all sorts of magic symbolism and magic rituals, never taken seriously in the scene where everything is just cool and loud because of "fun".

Case in point is that this particular ancient hand gesture is naively called "the french fries fork" among German rockers. Yeah right - what else could it possibly mean than that?

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Not my crew after all – good to know!


I eventually left the rock scene after my first psychedelic trance events.

Years later though, I realized what an eye opener my time in the rock scene had been. I saw that these habits hadn't slowly come in, but had instead been there from the very beginning when I was still too occupied with the glamour (the initial perceived image of what I was now part of) to actually see the obvious downsides.

Eventually I saw a pattern in these experiences that has served me very well since and that I want to share here. Officially, we are not supposed to see it like this – often being labelled as "superficial", "judgmental" or "blinded by prejudice" by our society - but the pattern was rather simple and still holds up well for me today. And it goes like this:

Whenever you get into a new crew – workplace environment, moving to another city, signing up for an educational class, dabbling in a new subject matter... it is crucial that you look and feel the people who are connected to that same cause already. Look at them as objectively as you can and try to separate the idea of the cause from what you can actually witness just being around them.

Leaving out all the awesome new ideas, passions, etc...

  • What are these people actually like?
  • Are there some recurring themes or actions you already dislike, but would rather not say so?
  • Can you notice certain trends in these people and their behavior that nobody even talks about, despite them constantly claiming the opposite?
  • Do you recognize glaring contradictions between what they say and what they do?
  • Are there energetic exchanges taking place that are never quite addressed but as glaringly obvious as the elephant in the room?

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Why is this useful?


These days getting a feel of "the others" has become one of my best tools for initial discernment.

Take Steemit for example:
I came here looking for a new social media platform that wouldn't get in my way of connecting a tribe of critical thinkers.

And soon I learned about Steem and SBDs, decentralization and the potential of the Steem blockchain... And for a while I thought it does sound logical in a way, but then again it does sound too good to be true. I was certain I had to find the catch here before I could commit fully, if there even was a catch...

But before ever finding that catch – do you know what elevated Steemit to me more than anything else? The people I met on here.

The conceptual average of people's vibe that chose to connect with me, displaying their state of mind and degree of wisdom: The accumulation of many groundbreaking communications with other Steemians, the high level of empathy and the professional manner of an open exchange of ideas in respect and mutual cooperation.

A sense of giving among like-minded people. It felt genuine.

And those I met that I didn't want to get more connected with: I simply let them be and they had no intention of starting a fight with me over it. Cool. To each his own.

Long before I came across the first warning signs that Steemit may not be what I had taken it to be, these awesome people I met showed me that this place does have something VERY worthwhile about it or else - why would we all be here now?

Which meant one of two things: people on my wavelength fell for the "Steemit trap" just like me - in which case we would all be united in error at least... all of us having overlooked a crucial thing to consider.

OR,
that the presence of so many others on my wavelength was EVIDENCE ENOUGH that this place would be worth my time because it was worth theirs. And catch or no catch - I could work with this platform for the time being, considering the types of people I have made connections with already.

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I am saying:


Long before you can truly and honestly discern the merit of an idea or the unwritten laws of a new scene... and long before finding the catch in a new ideology you are flirting with... you can get the luxury of seeing and feeling the OTHER PEOPLE who are already drawn to that same thing – so look closely at them and make use of your gut feeling! Be honest with yourself! And don't take the participants out of the equation: If the group in question generally shares a quality you dislike strongly, there may be something you might have overlooked getting into this whole new thing. You might have fallen for the package instead of your own actual observations of the content.

It's no accident that certain types of people accumulate around certain types of worldview or preoccupation. And sometimes the people themselves can be your best pointer towards the deeper and underlying factes of what you are getting into vs. what you thought you were getting into.

It doesn't mean you have to get out right away, it doesn't mean that you should judge the group as a whole if single participants do stupid stuff once in a while... it just means your awareness of these critical actions can be trusted if you pay close attention to your senses and don't get overly bamboozled on a social level of what you are being presented with on a conceptual level. The intellect can fall for traps easily, thinking it got everything figured out, especially if other people are involved. We are social beings and can be swayed.

Your intuition and your inner sense for authenticity however can navigate you through the weirdest crowds and ideas that exist. Things that that may seem all peachy at first before you dare to see what actually is. Whenever you have to choose a path.

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In the end the people I met were ALWAYS the most important factor in determining what areas I will put my time and energy into in the end, and in what areas I should be cautious before committing deeper.

Find your crew. They are waiting for you and they will recognize you instantly, no matter what your thing is.

And then see if they really are your crew after all, or if you fell for a nice package of hot air. If so, simply re-adjust your course and you will eventually find them, stick around for a while and be welcomed for who you are and what you represent. Genuinely.

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Come check out part 1 of this series:
Discernment Diaries - Part 1 | Guilty By Association


Thanks for stopping by <3

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What an awesome post! I do see things slightly differently but overall, very insightful.

I think from hindsight you may Feel more negative about some of those thing s but they Macy have been just what you needed at the time, at any rate they were probably a reflection of your desires, then through contrast you are able to determine more precisely what it is you want. Many of these scenes want to develop the same way as individuals like us but many of the individuals like the safety of a defined culture and get stuck in the trends. This is exaggerated when outside forces come in and try to exploit the scene for its “uniqueness”, as happens with most scenes.

I have much fonder memories of the punk scene. I found the words to describe what I didn’t like and slowly, through that process, I learned to conceptualize what I did like and eventually found something much closer to it. That scene is amazing and still one that I a, connected to, but as I feel they are a bit too disconnected from the rest of society, I still had my eyes open and tried not to be too exclusively part of one tribe. That’s how I found steemit. Now I am working on building s bridge between these two tribes or if one can’t be built, then perhaps there is another tribe out there waiting for me...but I do believe one CAN be built so Here I am!

Let’s chat more!

Precisely my mission as well, connecting the tribes or rather: offering a connection.

You make a great point I didn't touch on - these things may be worse in hindsight than they actually were. we are always defining everything from where we are now, and I am under no illusion that all these steps were necessary to get me where I am today.

I know of like 3 tribes that would instantly take you in ;) but building your own always seems a good idea, and I think you doing quite well at it ahahah.
Good night, and talk to you soon

Way to rip the band-aid off and make people give themselves, and their crew, a good hard look!

Thanks to @chiefmappster, this post was resteemed and highlighted in today's edition of The Daily Sneak.

Thank you for your efforts to create quality content.

It's so tempting to feel like I have arrived, but I had to do this several times already, and with my "current crew" something similar lurks on the horizon. It does get easier every time though.

Thank you for all your continued support @sneakyninja & @chiefmappster.
I sometimes wish I could give back more to ya <3

I don't know that we ever really 'arrive,' we just get better at journeying.

Shirt worthy quote. God am I happy you people exist ;)

Great article. I agree with you.
The biggest problem with all societies and cultures is that they psychologically control you through "accepted" behaviour and thought patterns. And you lose yourself in the "norms of the society".
and if you choose to be true to your ownself, you stick out as a sore thumb !!

For me too Steemit is a place where I can be myself, not follow any "norms" and connect with like minded people.

A very well written post. Followed you, @paradigmprospect :)

your comment draws me to you, excited to read more of your thoughts.
thanks for the flowers as well, I fully agree - I think we may have to reinvent everything in open communication, re-figuring out the most rigid basics.
and I am thrilled I keep meeting people with an open mind on here who see the need to reevalute these behavior and thoughts patterns from the ground up.
definitely followed ;)

Your words @paradigmprospect - "In the path of the quest for truth you will be shunned. But those you will meet become your greatest allies" :).
great to connect with you :)

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