Coping with Bi-Polar II Disorder // Managing Depression Through Work
As I sit down to write this blog post, I am in the middle of a depressive mood episode. This isn't something new for me--as an individual diagnosed with Bipolar Type II disorder, depression is my normal frame of reference during my day to day routine, one that is interrupted by only brief hypo-manic episodes where my mood is lifted higher than normal and my productivity skyrockets. But those hypo-manic episodes are rare, and the baseline for me is one of disinterest and low mood. This is true in spite of medications I take to stabilize my mood--Abilify for the mood and Zoloft for General Anxiety Disorder, an equally troubling but separate condition.
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The main difference between Bipolar type II and conventional Bipolar disorder is that I do not suffer the same degree of swings (on the high or low end) as sufferers of Bipolar disorder, but my overall mood level is significantly lower than those with Bipolar disorder. That is, I don't ever feel as bad or as good as those swinging through their mood cycles with type I, but my baseline level of happiness is significantly lower.
Medications help some, but they haven't offered a "cure" for the disorder--only partial remission of symptoms. In addition to medications, I am also trying (even as I write this) to manage the symptoms through engaging in productive work. I am employed, and I generally enjoy the work associated with my teaching job, but this is not what I mean. As much as I enjoy teaching, I still long for the ability to support myself through my writing endeavors. The only problem is that my mood generally discourages me from doing, well... anything. Really, I manage to do what is immediately required, but it is difficult to get ahead or to do things that would be outside of the scope of normal day to day activities (like this blog post).
Still, I am trying to manage my depression through work, that is, to engage in productive work as a means of fighting the depression. While I write this, I do feel a modest amount of relief. I wish I could tell you the cure for this, but I haven't found it. Work, though, does seem to help some. Although there are days that I am so despondent that I am unable to work productively. Today, however, is not one of those days for me. May it also not be one for you. If all else fails, it might be worth treating yourself to a corn dog pizza. Eat it for the lulz!
Cheers,
@lilrut
Image sources: Wikimedia commons
Gif Soure: Giphy
I can't imagine the suffering you go through being bipolar - I am a depressive but it's not the same.
I do have the same issue with writing, though. Last week has been tough, I still managed to hit my deadlines but I'm already behind this sprint. (It's all self-imposed deadlines, but still) I just hope next week is better.
The swings aren't as bad (I hear) as in bipolar I, but I experience more constant levels of depression. It's been bad lately, but it comes and goes.
Thanks for the comment.
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