New Crypto Advice From the Crypto Witch
After my great first crypto advice post I am back! This time with an analysis of the latest pump!
Look at this beautiful chart:
What you can see here is the loss in value over a short period (red triangle). Steem dropped a lot but then jumped up again, on the so called crypto trampoline! The green triangle allows you to calculate the average gain (and predict future gains, those are huge!), which is the only part you should really pay attention to. Nobody cares about a loss if it's going up again after!
The yellow arrow, of course, indicates the general trend - which is up, up, up! To the moon!
If we look at the 24 hour chart, we can see this:
That's an obvious ripple wave pattern, another indication for a crypto about to moon. I'm not talking $10, not $100, I'm talking $10000 by the end of the week! Buckle up folks, the rocket is launching!
The triple triangle wave makes it even clearer that, despite the fear-sells, the future is here:
You don't want to miss this!
And you know what? As soon as I started writing this post, Steem went up even more:
Proof that I alone hold the magical ability to make Steem climb up whenever I want. Who of your "crypto advisers" can say that about themselves?
This is not a drill, people! BUY BUY BUY! Before it's too late!
And secret tip: SBD seems to be doing even better
Disclaimer: This is a joke. Please notice the "joke" tag. I have no idea what I'm doing, neither do most people giving out this advice actually. Make your own investment decisions. Maybe. Or maybe not. I'm not your boss.
Special thanks to @prlndra , @schrosct , @soundworks and @reggaemuffin who provided me with invaluable insights. Thank you to @geekpowered too, for being absolutely useless and doing nothing. :P
Thumbnail is from pixabay.com
Any allegations that I've given insight into anything are libelous.
Omg what is this? Lol😂
Zlad!!
Looks like one Finnish childrens tale character Rölli aka Allu Tuppurainen..
The bull market is already bringing out the expertise in everyone in the cryptosphere. 😀
It is actually good to know that we can all laugh and have so much fun again after so many weeks of ravaging bears.
How else to we survive online without a little bit of humor :P
It was torture, really.
When moon is not enough we can say Steem will Mars ! :D (insider joke)
Crypto trampoline :) Finally someone explaining it in terms that make sense.
Your Technical (Crypto) Analysis is as reliable as any other Crypto-TA is. :')
The #joke Tag must be referring to Crypto-TA in general, eh? :D
I am the only true crypto advisor. Give me all your money.
:P
Here you have a whole cent! :0
:D
NICE!
Here, have 9 cents!
See? PROFIT!
Finally, crypto market analysis and the girl in lingerie. Upvote! :D
...strangely, as a scientist I learned something very simple long time ago:
Very good, @suesa.
Now do it ten times every day and convince a million-SP whale to dedicate their entire stake to upvoting you alone.
Also... you got me with the SBD chart. I checked coinmarketcap right away. I was so pissed for a moment.
Thanks for what you've done for the price today. I assume the lady in the photograph was the requisite
virginsacrifice for your ritual. I only wish you could have waited a little longer until I bought more. Oh well.Love how you crossed out virgin :P
The sbd price is actually a legit Screenshot from busy.org, I assume some kind of bug. But it fit just perfectly.
TO DA MOON!
Instead of explaining in text, you've inspired me to relate me reaction to this post in the form of a terrible excel chart.
Glad that, in the end, you were more laughing than frowning :P
And the "trampoline pattern" is trademarked now!
The truth is incredible, many turned off their accounts and reritraron their steem when the downturn began. I think it's better to buy more now for future profits, your predictions give me a lot of excitement because I've been waiting a long time for the STEEM to go up again from 10$.
You didn't read the disclaimer, did you
No, I think I was very excited about it ;) I thought I was innocent, but STEEM is going to go up anyway, in fact it's already going up. (,")
Steem going up is the reason this shitpost even worked :p