Hi, @suesa! I’d like to add my perspective to Jean’s feedback:

Dr. Hoffman was an alluring character, and following his hurdles with experimentation made for a very interesting read. I very much liked the addition of referential links to inform the reader about the technology being used, this was a good example of incorporating the medium into your writing.

The idea behind this story was very appealing, but perhaps the delivery could have been improved. The pacing of the story could have been more effective at evoking fear in the reader and building up to the big reveal. While the story was solid, I was hard pressed to feel the ‘horror’ it was meant to convey, perhaps because of the pacing troubles mentioned above.

Thank you very much for you submission, it was a very enjoyable read. Keep it up!