No... Job For You (Pop Songs of the Year) - Comedy Open Mic Round 33 Entry 2
Hey everyone, the streak of summer pop songs lyrics continues except it's barely summer, although no one told the sun here, so instead I'll be focusing on writing pop songs of the year.
This one is performed by Meghan Trainor and it's titled (No... Job for you) check out the original before you proceed by clicking here
I wore my sharpest suit
And got on my best look display
Headed to the job interview
Holding a briefcase with my résumé
But then they stopped at the door
And then the man started to say
"Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
Job for you? No
And you should know
Your I.Q is low
Your experience really blows
You need to let it grow
So turn around and go
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
Job for you? No
And you should know
Your I.Q is low
Your experience really blows
You need to let it grow
So turn around and go
Befriend government men
And apply only then
Maybe then you could have a career
I only hire cousins
So stop your fuzzing
Go away there's no job for you here"
I was literally thrown
They mocked my smashed Iphone
But I still refused to just go
They're like "blah blah blah" I be like
"Nah, to the please, to the don't let me go
My landlord will throw me out
Even you hire me through casting couch
I'll shave my bits
You pull your dicks"
But all they decided to say is
"Dude, just no
You stupid hoe
Your ugliness shows
You look like a hobo
We won't hire you so
You need to let it go"
They didn't give me any chance
So I pulled up my pants
Took a cab and went to my house
But then I was "Oh, man"
My landlord came at me at first glance
Took my keys and threw me out
I'll just call Isis
I'm fed up and I'll cause crises
Get the interviewer's heads in slices
Blah, blah, blah, I be like
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
That interviewer better listen up
If I'm not hired he'll get fucked
If I'm not hired by that brick
Then he'll suck my dick
Or else what will happen is
Their office is blown
Struck by a drone
That's controlled
By my shitty Iphone 4
It is the best iphone
Now all they'll do is moan
Nah to the ah to the, no, no, no
Hi amirtheawesome1,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)
Judges:
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Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
I am going to need you to sing that in a short mini skirt.
I'm gonna need you to buy me one.
platinum blond wig to go with it also?
Listen, I like your song and all but you just aren't what we are looking for right now. Is it possible for you to blow your landlord for free rent? It might be worth a try. If you can gain some experience with him, get a letter of recommendation and come back to see us in three months.
Need experience for job, need job for experience...
I'll just blow it up.
I hear the porn industry is always open to hire. How many sausages can you cramp up your ass?
How many do you have?
Ahahaha good one.
Doubt it. But thanks anyway.
It was. I liked the call-back to iPhone joke.
Overall it was really creative.