A Day of My Life - Unfortunately. Constrained Writing Contest #26

Tuesday 28th August 2018

Ok Diary so what’s new?
Well, today went like this:-
7am. Woke up, drank tea IzNIbz brought in for me, let dogs out, let dogs in, said goodbye to IzNibz, fed dogs, fed cat, fed me, checked social media…
An hour later started back at the beginning of check social media in case I missed anything… HALT.
Decided not to waste my life, did washing, vacked up whilst waiting for washing to wash, hung out washing, lunch.
Grabbed snack. Reprimanded self for being lazy and reaching for snack box. Decided too late now, so had another.

Took dogs for walk…. That’s when my day exploded.
Oh Diary – why do I have a ‘drop and roller’?
Walk nice – to start. Went to Rekky then walked up the lane. Still discovering new town. Curious. Found a track. Walked along track. Allowed dogs off lead. Treat for them as they’re normally harnessed to my right hand lately. New area, new issues. Being careful. Walked 5 miles, well perhaps 2 but felt like 5. Found small field off track – investigated. Seemed ok. Dogs happy running around then it happened.
OH MY DAYS!
Annie found something to roll in. No amount of screaming stopped her.
Roll, scream, roll, scream, roll.
Whatever it was had died, risen and died again. Rank. Chastised dog. Tess stayed away – knows better than to annoy me when I’m wound up already. Got Annie onto lead, avoiding rankness around neck and shoulders. Growled at her, much cursing. Dragged dogs home muttering all the way about smell and stupid dog. Tess didn’t like it either and kept straining to get away. Pulled on arm.
Yelled at Tess.
Both dogs as unhappy as me by now.
Back to yard at home. NO WAY was Annie going inside. Tess in. Annie sulked. Filled bucket with soapy water, got ‘dogs’ sponge and started to wash stinkiest dog in the world.
STOMACH SOMERSAULTED – GROSSEST SMELL EVER!!
Annie kept walking off so tied her to the gate. More washing, then more. 3 times, still stinks. Fetch IzNibs’ shower gel (it’s cheaper than mine). Wash dog again. Annie started to smell better. 5th wash and rinse and she smelled like Lynx Africa. BLISS.

Left out in yard to dry.
Changed clothes as soaked.
Had tea and snack – I deserve it.
5pm Annie dry, washing dry. Got washing in, folded and put away. Allowed Annie in, fed dogs, fed cat, fed me. Washed up and collapsed in front of TV. Wanted wine, have none. DR Pepper it is then. TV crap – played game on phone, checked social media, let dogs out, let dogs in, fussed cat, got scratched, swore at cat.
9pm IzNibz home. How’s your day? – Don’t ask! Both same question and same answer. IzNibz queried the Lynx Africa smell. Brief explanation. He laughed – I growled.
Said Tired.
Got Showered.
Now 10.30pm, I’m in bed writing this because one day I’ll look back and think it’s funny.
Goodnight Diary.

This short story is fictional - based on several previous experiences. No dogs, cats or snacks were actually harmed in the making of this.