Maturity VI, Contributed By @olawalium.

in conflict •  2 months ago

…continued… from part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4 and part 5


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Maturity alters a course of action in marriage, and it removes all retaliatory dispositions, according to Leke Alder. Maturity doesn’t lead you to get even with your partner, rather it allows you to break it down to her and tell her the effect of what she is doing wrong on you. If your partner is the considerate type too, then this shouldn’t result into further or bigger trouble which might lead to unhappiness and cracks.

You need to see yourself as wiser and older in marriage. In fact, marriage assumes you are older and wiser, regardless of the age, and this is why I always tell people, marriage isn’t for kids, because you have to be ready on all fronts; (mentally, socially, physically, spiritually, morally, financially, etc.). Get married only when you are ready because marriage is for matured people and when you dabble into it regardless of your age, you face the challenges the matured minds are expected to face.


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In resolving conflicts, know what works best for you. Sometimes it is best to sleep over an issue before embarking on a course of action. This works better for me. When an issue that could spiral into big issues come, I try to address it later when I am a bit calmer, so I wouldn’t use words I am not expected to, because sometimes ladies try to hold on to your careless words and use it to tilt things in their favour. I have noticed that trend, but if your partner is the type that can’t sleep over an issue, then you have to meet at a level ground and you will need a lot more maturity to deal with the issue so it won’t spiral out of control. I like addressing it later because my mind would be clearer the next day and I would be able to see the intention behind what she did, rather than the way I felt at that instant.

You don’t have to address every issue too. In life, there are things we let go because we know it doesn’t worth the hassle and you need to be able to do that also in marriage. There are things you allow to slide. You don’t go after everything. You don’t have to allow confrontations in everything. Imagine when someone lies to you and you know it, you just smile and leave it. It doesn’t mean you are a fool and you don’t need to let the person know you are so smart that you already know, just leave it (except some grave lies that you cannot overlook anyway).

…to be continued…


Thank you for your time.


My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.

Still me,

My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.

Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.


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Yes ,you are at good point.
You should be mature. One should be ready as financially as well as physically if he wants to get marry.if you fullfil these conditions then it will help you to lower your difficulties in future.

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Marriage requires a lot of things and it is sad many people don't know this. They see marriage as a goal in life and they fail to develop the needed area and aspects of their lives. It requires a lot of hard work and maturity.

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Maturity is all about handling the situation and capability to carry on the responsibility. A men is always been the defender of his family without a matuted head on the shoulder it is pretty difficult to carry on the marriage responsibility. So decide about taking responsibility only when you are mature enough to understand the responsibility that is coming around after marriage

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So decide about taking responsibility only when you are mature enough to understand the responsibility that is coming around after marriage.

This is sweet...really sweet.

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Hahah..thanks bro...👍...litle things but heavy meaning

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Really deep.

This did it for me in this post. You don’t have to address every issue to
Very briefly maturity is understanding that a spouse or partner is not in the mood to talk at particular times especially immediately after an issue.
This works for me, i always like to leave the room or apartment, leave the environment basically at the instant. Do things that will have no links whatsoever with my state of mind as regards that issue. This is a wonderful post for the asking at counselingfor that matter.Smiles. God bless you greatly for sharing sir.

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A lot of people don't understand that. They want to address the situation right away which might lead to a lot of temper flaring. Understanding what works for your partner and seeking a level ground helps both parties to deal with things in maturity.

Yes there are things you should just go, they say bad things first but they take the one you said personal

They would try and make you say some things but you dont need to cos if you do, things may not go well so best thing is you keep mute and they would later be guilty

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Yes, i am glad you can relate to that. They know how to act tricky and this is why a man need to know what works and act with every sense of maturity to deal with every situation.