RE: Listening: The Foundation of All Good Communication
I find it interesting though that as important as it is, listening is so often denigrated in American culture. We idealize orators, from the eloquence of MLK or FDR, to whatever comes out of the mouth of DJT, it doesn't matter what they are saying, we give the speakers power.
No to make this too political but the last presidential election came down to a woman who listens and a man that speaks constantly. I loved this write up on Hillary, and there were several others like it, that maintained that the one thing that was impressed upon everyone who worked with her was how well she listened. I think a lot of this has to do with some people's predilection for authoritativeness and power, but that's not how effective leadership works and the sooner we acknowledge the power of the listener the sooner we can actually find some real consensus on how to move this country forward.
Thanks for the thoughtful comment. Your reference to Hillary and the election is spot on, and just another reason for the proverbial smh. It doesn’t surprise me to read about her listening habits. I’m a firm believer that leaders listen. True leaders, not demagogues who attract toadies that are just seeking their own path to power. “Listening for leadership” is a title I have played around with in the past for a yet unwritten book/article. Maybe I will have to revisit that here. Have you written on the subject. I’m going to scan your blog now, but feel free to leave a link here, especially to anything less recent. Here’s to moving forward. Cheers.
(Just realized you wrote the post on trust!)
Not really, although this discussion has some ideas kicking around my head about a post on using empathy to augment your listening ability. I'm also about to go back to school to get a Masters in I/O Psych (just finished my application!) so I'm sure I'll be revisiting the issue many times over the next two years!
That’s great that you’re starting a new program. Be sure to fit some comm classes in with this psych classes :). Empathy to augment listening sounds good. Every interpersonal textbook notes empathy as an example of effective listening, or really more general as just a type of listening. But I think it would make sense to consider it as an intention that would help guide one to be a better listener as well.
I'm sure there will be, my school is very business focused and they try to work comms into the entire curriculum. I think empathy is really its own special type of skill. It's similar to listening in that it is taking in information the other party is giving out, but it is on a much more subtle and instinctive level. It's a channel that in some cases you need to make special effort to open. It's also something that can be developed separately as a skill and engaged or disengaged when appropriate. For example, empathy can actually be harmful to listening when someone is trying to sell you something an you really need to focus on listening critically to their terms.
Good point regarding when not to listen empathically. It’s all about flexibility and knowing the right mode for the situation. You gave me a couple of ideas for future posts. Thanks.