The Toddler Chronicles: Don't Cry Over Spilled Coffee [Comedy Open Mic Round 19]

therosepatch (56)in #comedyopenmic • 6 years ago (edited)

My daughter Evie is 22 months old, very close to 2 years, and is very curious about her surroundings. As a result, she tends to get into situations that she didn't foresee happening. She also has random moments of just plain silliness or of love. I have decided, instead of just telling people about these moments, that I would write them out from her perspective.

Don't Cry Over Spilled Coffee

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I wonder what in Mommy coffee cup. She always tell me not to touch it. She says it hot, but I spill her coffee on me before and it not hot at all, so I not believe her, and she cleaned me up so fast I not able to try it. But I know it smell nice.

I think Mommy trying to keep something fun from me. Figures. All the fun things she keep for herself, like candy, chocolate, cookies. She even keep my toys away from me. What up with that?

I walk over to her desk. Her cup is close. She looking at her computer, so maybe she not see me. I pull the handle up. Oof, it’s heavy! Oh no! I spilled some all over the desk!

“No no no, Evie!” Mommy makes a noise with her throat. I heard it before when Mommy mad at me. She grabs some wipes to clean up the coffee. She looks mad. I not like it when Mommy mad, but I want to see her coffee. Maybe try some of it. I want to know why she like it so much.

I reach for the cup again. She taps my hand. “No! Leave it alone!” she says.

I frown. Mommy is grumpy. Maybe she need more coffee. I leave her alone and play with my toys instead. Oh! Daddy’s shirt! I wear it as a dress. Where my tiara?

I nominate @gmuxx and @jasminearch for #comedyopenmic :)