Nominations this round: @themadgoat (the funniest Steemian, imao; if you're not already following him, how dare you) and my Serbian brother, @beograd!

Bring on the Funny Steemit! 😀

In this day and age, worthless idiots EVERYWHERE are getting outraged at absolute nonsense!

If you want proof, just go to any liberal college campus or friendly neighborhood Election near you.

Today, let's give those hapless wastes of space an opportunity to get all bent out of shape over something new:

EMOJIS!

Fingers crossed they accidentally castrate themselves in their fits of fury at the unfairness of life, the weather, and other stupid nonsense these worthless sacks of noise incessantly complain about.

Today's Trigger:

The emoji for a NEWSPAPER!

Folks, this emoji has so much wrong with it I don't even know where to start.

At the mere sight of this emoji, liberal students on college campuses everywhere are likely to full-on lose their shit, HARD.

They'll collapse, as they do; into heaving fits of crying, with their mouth-breathing, slightly parted lips quivering, their unconscious oral desires made publicly known as their noise-holes desperately seek the comfort of a random teat to suckle upon...

"Why would they make an emoji for paper, mannnn? Don't they know that paper is bad for the Universe, and, like, that paper makes all the beautiful animals so sad?!?"

...Sobs one pathetic, forlorn, unwashed wretch with a major in Moden Feminist Dance Theory.

Or

"Oh My GOD!!! HOW can the emoji makers make an emoji of a newspaper, with the front page showing a Volcano 🌋 all like, blowing up and so angry?!?

That emoji reminds me of all my ex-boyfriends, who were like, so MEAN to me when I'd leave my re-usable, totally organic, grass-fed tampons on the bathroom counter beside their toothbrush!"

"They never smelled THAT bad!"

"Not after the first day!"

"So, yeah, that like, horrible scene on the front page of that newspaper, in an emoji, like, TOTALLY affected me."

"And guess what?"

"I like, TOTALLY did 23 & Me, and I found out I'm like, part Pompeiian! So it, like, totally makes sense why, I felt, like, SO extra-triggered, you know?"

I hope you're all as Recreationally Outraged as I am that the emoji makers could be so callous and hurtful in their designs.

Those poor, young, Earth-friendly
mental giants are the leaders of tomorrow!

How DARE the emoji makers make them feel so, like, uncomfortable!

I'm so recreationally outraged I'm all sweaty...

Better go and change my free-range tampon now, even though I totally heard that Toxic Shock Syndrome is, like, really good for the environment.

@scan0017 😘