What the FUCK - Comedy Open Mic Round # [30]

in comedyopenmic •  11 days ago

As you can all fucking see, I have created a fucking new steem border, for the fucking blockchain enthusiasts out there! Feel fucking free to use it, whenever you fucking please, for whatever the fuck you want. In fact, I’m going to fucking use it, as a fucking paragraph divider. I dig this fucking shit! Fuck yeah!!!

Ok, now that I fucking have that fucking introduction out of the fucking way, lets’ fucking get straight to the fucking point here. Why the fuck do people get fucking annoyed and fucking freak out, when someone fucking tells them to get fucked? Or even fucking pissed off by just fucking using the word fuck? What the fuck, is the fucking problem? I mean fucking seriously, if you don’t fucking like being told to get fucked, then why the fuck are you even here, you fucking dipstick? Didn’t you read the fucking title? Stupid fucking retard!

I welcome all the fuckers, who enjoy fucking or using the word fuck, to tell me to fuck off, get fucked or even go fuck myself. I really don’t give a fuck personally, and in fact, I fucking welcome it! I will even fucking get one extra get fucked in, in advance, just in fucking case I go fucking missing for any particular fucking reason….So then, here’s a FUCK YOU in advance! And if you’re super fucking awesome, I’ll give you an extra fuck off when I get back online;) Good fucking times…

People with shitty fucking attitudes, piss me right the fuck off, ‘cos they are just simply petty little fuckheads and spoilt fucking brats. Why the fuck should I put up with that fucking crap? Get the fuck out of my fucking face you fucking dumb fucks…Fuck those losers! If you want to learn how to deal with those fuck faces, I will be releasing the best fucking tutorial on the fucking internets, on fucking dealing with those fucking mother fuckers….that’s right, most of them are fucking mother fuckers too!

The fucking worst of the fucking lot, are those precious fucking pet lovers! They’re constantly fucking talk about their fucking pets, as if they are their own fucking children. If you fucking want real fucking children, just go fuck someone and make real fucking babies! For fucks sake, enough of your fucking bullshit…And seriously, if you’re a fucking pet lover AND a fucking vegan at the same time, then just get the fuck out of my life or don’t even bother fucking approaching me, or else I will take your fucking pet, stick it on a fucking spit and slow cook roast the fucker for dinner. If you don’t fucking believe me, I used to own a fucking goat, and I ate the fucker, after it started eating my fucking shit!

How about all those stupid fucks, who constantly fucking tell you what to fucking do or fucking say! Fuck me, those fucking assholes never shut the fuck up. Who the fuck do you think you are, you fucking moronic fucksticks? Just get the fuck out of my fucking face and stop fucking preaching, you fucktard anal fuckers.

I just want to fucking kill myself, when I see those super fucking ugly jerk offs, walking around with super-hot fucking bitchez. What the fuck man? That’s just fucking bullshit! Anyway, before I start fucking sounding like a fucking jerk-off fucking cry baby myself, I think I’ll just fucking end it right fucking here…

Actually, just one last fucking thing…For those silly fuckers, who come in here and fucking talk about this fucking post being fucking gender biased, I will fucking show you right fucking now, that this fucking shit applies to both fucking sides. If some fucking pervert walked up to any one of you fuckers, and tried to fucking get frisky with your fucking junk, what the fuck would you do? Well, if I was a fucking chick, first I’d kick the fucker in the balls, and then fucking punch the douche in the fucking penis. Since I’m a fucking dude, I’ll tell you what the fuck I would do if that fucking shit happened to me…Fucking nothing!!! Let it ride I fucking say:) If however you were a fucking oversensitive virgin dick, you would go fucking cry to your fucking mommy. Fuck, either that, or you’d go full fucking retard and fucking head butt her in the fucking tit, and then Kung Fu the bitch in the fucking clitoris.

Yep, I’m just a fucking king troll, so if you don’t fucking like it, too fucking bad mofos. Go back to your shitty fucking Facebook and Twitter, with all the fucking snowflake fuckers and SJW fucking idiots! Even those fuckers will troll the fucking shit out of you and get you fucking banned, just for saying fuck you, and you’ll just end up right back fucking here! So just fucking deal with it!!!

SO WITH MY SIGN OFF GESTURE, LET ME JUST SAY...

FUCK YOU, FUCK OFF, AND GET FUCKED! LATER FUCKERS! OVER AND FUCKING OUT!!!



         

As always, have a great day and PEACE

         
         


         
         
Nominations for #comedyopenmic are @thoughts-in-time and @mudcat36

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Hi palikari123,

Thank your post in the #comedyopenmic tag.
Please note that this isn't a generic tag but rather it's a tag for our contest
If you'd like to participate you can click here to read the contest rules.

I would like to draw your attention to the rule asking contestants to include "Comedy Open Mic Round #" in the title.
We are currently on round 30

Please update your title and we will pass your entry along to the judges for judgement*.

*Judges that pass judgement only judge as far as judgement is concerned.

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Yes, thank you:)

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Creep, you never told him to fuck off.

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Lol, that was before I told anyone to get fucked + they told me I fucked up:)

Hi palikari123,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)

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Holy fuck, that's like the most fucks I've read about in one article. Not the most fucks I've ever had though, because that would be pathetic hehe

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Fuck off!

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Oh, fuck you!

LOL I covered fuck also on my old account, fucking marvelous idea.

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Get fucked!

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Later tonight I hope, now go and fuck yourself :-)

This article has the potential to create a lot of offspring.
AKA little fuckers

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Fuck yeah!

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I'm not supposed to laugh out loud at such profanity.... but fuck.... it was funny. And the vegan pet owners - OMG dying. Now go wash your mouth out with soap!

As always, have a great day and PEACE

😂😂😂

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Fuck, I ran out of soap:( Peace the fuck out!

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that was fucking great. I could lick that fuck stick all day long. a- fucking-men! fucking preach on!

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Thank you very fucking Much. Later, fuck stick!

Posted using Partiko Android

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well just fucking fine, who fucking knew you'd just fuck me off all fuckidee doo da day

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Lol...what the fuck were you fucking expecting? A fucking red fucking carpet and fucking champagne?😛

Posted using Partiko Android

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yeah...for a fucking start. Then some fucking olives and a fucking fan to keep me cool. im not just some fuckaroo. im like fucking royalty. show some fucking respect twat fuck

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My fucking my, you are a funny fuck aren't you😂. However, I don't fucking bow down to fucking royal fucking tee. Be fucking careful with your fucking royal threats, or those fucking olives may fucking find themselves in the fucking shit! 😄

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It sure fucking can! Thank you for that inspiring fucking piece of fucking wisdom😜

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what a fucking fuckshow this fucking post was! I just had to fucking stop by and tell you to get fucked you fucking fuck ;-)
image.png

fucking color this your favorite fucking shade of fuck - ya fuck

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That's so fucking pretty! Thank the fuck you😆

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WAIT! you telling me i've been spelling fcuk wrong all this time?

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Yep...sorry man, you fucked up!😝

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