Don't be a chicken! Comedy Open Mic #30

in comedyopenmic •  2 months ago

In my large flock we have a very obvious hierarchy. Nugget is the second hen and Blossom is in the lower middle part of the hierarchy. When I was digging up worms and other tasty grubs in the run today, the top hens were in charge, getting the best picks and the others would try and sneak a bit here and there. The really cheeky ones managed a few snatch and runs from under the elite's noses.


Blossom made the mistake of joining in casually like she belonged. Nugget put her in her place with a couple of swift pecks to the back of the head, making her squawk and run off. In an indignant huff, Blossom decided to take it out on the bottom hen, Puddin, grabbing her at the back of her head and determinedly pushing it down, causing quite a cacophony. Nugget stormed over and sternly told Blossom off for her terrible behaviour.

Puddin. If I fits, I sits!

Chickens are very much "do as I say, not as I do" creatures. So don't be a chicken, lead by example.

Chickens aren't very welcoming to new hens. When Buffy the little araucana arrived the lower hens wanted to make an example of her, to make sure they could have someone below them in the hierarchy. Buffy stayed in the tree, out of their way for a week, while assessing the situation carefully. When she came down from the tree she came down with a mission and now sits in the upper middle of the hierarchy.


When someone new arrives in the class, don't be a chicken and be mean to them. They might just end up kicking your butt!

The queen of our other flock is Ginger. Her king makes sure she gets first choice of any food, so when any food comes to the flock she expects it to be hers. If someone else tries to muscle in, they will face her full wrath as she pecks and chases them off. While she's busy chasing them off, the rest of the flock get to enjoy the treats in peace leaving her wondering where all the food went by the time she gets back.


Remember folks, sharing is caring; so don't be a chicken. Others might share with you too if you're not a beetch.


I nominate @holoz0r and @stuffing to make us laugh, or even just smile. After all, laughter is the best medicine.


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Hey hey Ginger is back in town for two posts in a row now, how nice! I'll tell Shanti about her top-dog eating habits, might make sense to a real bitch who has never yet encountered a chicken! :D


Haha! Let me know if she had some insights for us!




I miss keeping chickens: their personalities are amazing to watch. My favorites were always the ones who were friendliest to me and didn't mind getting picked up =p
I helped a friend get started with chickens and he had one hen that would follow him around all day hoping to get picked up and petted


The top 4 hens in my large flock get away with murder because they're a bunch of snuggle bums!

This is them with my daughter. How can you tell them off for bullying when they do this?!


We did have one rooster... I let him get away with bullying and pecking for so long cause he was the friendliest of all the chickens to me ... then the wife got tired of it and he got turned into soup =(


Oh dear!
One of my roosters only avoids becoming soup because he's such a cutie, most of the time. You can hold him like a baby and he'll fall asleep in your arms, but just occasionally he'll decide he wants to try and become the boss and attempts sneak attacks on your leg.

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That's funny. I just love chickens and their pecking orders.

I did a chicken post this week on my homesteading account. Not a happy ending though, unless you're morbid.

They do sound funny to watch. I have 3 small dogs and watching them set up rules of the pack is hilarious. 🐔


I guess you have to have more than one dog to see that happening. Now I know the a good reason to have more than one! Lol.

Good ol' buffy sitting back and watching. then coming down to hide in the middle. great entry here!


She's certainly a savvy one. She's our best egg hatcher and chick mamma too!


are chickens trainable... like even a little?