Bad Words: Comedyopenmic 38
"Daddy, what's a gloryhole?"
When your 6 year old daughter pops out of nowhere with this kind of question, you have to question a lot of things. I mean, I know these kids are exposed to quite a lot at an early age but this is ridiculous. I took one deep breath and hoped it was one of those brain spasms kids often have. The plan was to ignore the the statement and continue watching spongebob and eat Pringles. She dipped her hand in the bowl, crumpled pieces of chips into her palm and shoved them in her face, the crumbs fell all over the couch and carpet. Me: "Yooo take it easy frog face, go get the broom and clean this sh... dirt". She smiled and as she skipped to the kitchen she was singing "gloryhole" with the spongebob tune.
Me: that's a bad word, stop saying it or I'll tell mum and you'll be in a lot of trouble.
Daughter: but I heard it from her. She's going there with Anty @take5.
Me: when did you hear this?
Daughter: in the morning
Me: where's mum now?
Daughter: at the gloryhole
Me: stop saying that?
Daughter: why?
Me: because its bad.
Daughter: a bad hole?
Me: shut up
Daughter: that's a bad word
Me: I'm old enough to say bad words
Daughter: gloooooooooooooooooo...
Me: don't you dare..
Daughter: ...ria
Ignoring the little monster, I phoned her mum
Me on the phone with wife: are you acting porn again?
Daughter listening: what's porn?
Me to daughter: shut up for a minute
Wife: don't say bad words around her
whispering to wife on the phone
Me to wife: so where did she hear gloryhole?
Daughter whispers: "gloooory hoooo...."
Me to Daughter: Don't you dare?
Daughter to mum on the phone: I want a glory hole
Wife to me: what did she say?
Me to wife: she wants a gloryhole
@take5 to me on the phone: does she mean my Glory Home Orphanage?
Me: for fucks sake. I forgot about that.
Daughter: who's f..
Me: let's go get ice cream
I nominate @markangeltrueman and @amirtheawesome1 to make entries
Hi belemo,
Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
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Thank you to @matytan for the great banner
Another nomination. I'm running out of funny shit.
Just write about politicians then
Until I got on steemit, I didn't even know what a glory hole was. Stop teaching bad words, @belemo.
How many gloryholes have you encountered since then?
Somehow, this is how I imagine you look in real life.
And to answer your question, too many and too traumatized to remember the exact amount.
Other than the afro, you're probably right. 😂. Don't be shy, gloryholes are your friend
The glory hole is the hole that opens up in the clouds and they toss the dead angel out of cause every time you touch yourself....