I'm no comedian but I do stand

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I'm not good in talking at the crowd but whispering at your back is different.

I just want to try this stand up comedian way's of talking. This will be my first time doing this so I hope you'll cry.

I heard my friend talking about love. They talked about feelings not about of what the people see in you. They said if you'll love a person by it's appearance then you're not in love at all. That's why there's a quote saying "love is blind". Then some person speak and said, "so only blind can love, what about us cross-eyed?" Then the talking ended.

If you're familiar about Filipinos attitude, they're not too honest because we are afraid to hurt someone's feeling's. There's a woman had a boyfriend and her friend asked her. "Is he handsome?" Her friend replied, "he's kind." Her friend wasn't satisfied of the answer of her friend so she asked again. "I said is he handsome?", then her friend also replied, "*he's white." The woman that was keep on asking felt annoyed so she changed the question. "Do you love him?" Her friend replied, "of course." So that conversation was ended.

Are you aware about the Filipino time? According to us Filipino time is always being late. When the meet up is 8 they'll arrived at 9. So that's what the Filipinos expected when we decided to meet. One time me and my friends set the time to meet up in the beach at exactly 8 in the morning. I was there first because I was the one who invited them but when I arrived at the beach at 7:30 in the morning I saw Lyca. I was surprised because she arrives early, then I asked. "So you're not in Filipino time of being late?" She then replied, "remember I'm not a Filipino because I'm a Filipina." Then I just said, ahhhhh

By the way you can use Filipina if it's a woman in the Philippines.

I heard this joke all over the place here. I don't know if this new to you.

The woman went back to a doctor and complained about whe she still pregnant even though they used the calendar method of what the doctor told them.
Woman: Doctor why I'm still pregnant, I used the calendar method?
The Doctor was surprised because he was sure that the calendar method is effective in controlling not to be pregnant. The Doctor doubt himself and asked the woman.
Doctor: How did you used the calendar method?
Woman: I rolled it and covered it into my husband's pennis.

The Doctor just nod, that explains everything.

Thank you for reading

d' dreamboy,
@mrnightmare89