Do You Know Everything?
I remember the first time someone asked me this question. I was about 9 or 10 and so was he. I suppose it's the sort of question ten year olds ask each other.
We were sitting having lunch in the hall of St Laurence Junior School. I kind of remember eating cheese sandwiches but that's the sort of thing that could be true or could be made up and we will never know.
There were three of us, but I can't remember who the two friends were that I was talking to. One of them was telling us how his grandad had died recently. "His bottom closed up and he couldn't poo for ages and that's what killed him." We agreed this was a bit shocking and very sad. Then the other friend turned to me and said "Lloyd, is that actually possible? Can you die of constipation?"
I had no idea of course, I'd never thought about such a thing. Grown-ups did generally seem to be concerned that we didn't get constipated, but it didn't seem like a concern for the potential fatality of the situation, more in the same league as the suggestion we put a jumper on in case we catch cold. And I had a think about what I knew about digestion and defecation and the likelihood that a build up of faeces might lead to some problems. And I took another bite of my sandwich.
Now, wherever this question is being asked today (and be sure, it is being asked somewhere) at least one of the kids would have a smartphone and would have googled "Can you die of constipation?" But all we had to answer questions were each other, the encyclopaedia in the library and teachers (in that order of preference) and even if the school's encyclopaedia had an entry on constipation, I doubt whether it would have gone into the details of the associated dangers of death. And teachers are more there for questions like "Can I go to the toilet?" rather than "If I don't go to the toilet for a very long time, will I die?"
So I turned all this over in my head and said, in that authoritative way that has since been of great benefit to me in my life as well as being my downfall on many occasions, "Yes, I think it is possible."
"Wow!" both friends gasped. "Yes" friend 2 said "he's very clever."
"If you know that sort of thing, you must know everything!" friend 1 said, shaking his head in admiration. "Do you know everything?"
I chewed on my cheese sandwich. and let my other friend speak for me.
"Yes, he does, he knows everything"
I enjoyed your story however there's some things I would not want to know. So I guess even if I had the opportunity to know everything I don't think I'd want to. But now you have me curious if a person can die of constipation as my mom has it at age 88. And I'd like to know the answer. Blessings again a good story.
To the question in your title, my Magic 8-Ball says:
Hi! I'm a bot, and this answer was posted automatically. Check this post out for more information.
I lol'ed.
It’s funny how we reflect on memories. It is also weird the ones that stick in our minds. I have memories of many things that when actually happening in the moment I would never have pondered “I will remember this moment the rest of my life.” I think the google thing is scarier than just pretending to be an expert. There is often poorer information on the internet than in our own speculation! Hope you are well man!
You are a great storyteller. I believe is kind of a dying virtue, so I do appreciate it a lot in people :) and of course you know everything. I had no doubt and I could be the kid that say it.