Uncommon Weekend Outing

Like other uncommon and unbelievers of Weekend Outing, I closed from work at my usual time and headed home without any diversion. I needed to occupy myself with something so serious and interesting enough not to bow to the pressure of leaving the house that evening. I tried all I could, i read Novels, played music and even went to the extent of seeing Ring of Fire on Zeeworld.

Around 9pm IEDC in their extraordinary way of interrupting power supply went dark on us. While in darkness I was hearing the irresistible rhythms of high life music and Umu obilogbo in a nearby eatery .

Even though I have not been feeling hungry since there was light, it appeared as if I had not eaten in days when the light went off. I tried convincing myself that going out there to have a light dinner won’t be a big deal.
I placed an order for plantain with egg and juice on getting to the eatery. I observed that some people were having a kind of small gathering going on before i came.

I found a seat close by and sat waiting for my order. The whole environment was adorned with white and red with cutleries making different sounds.

While still waiting for my order, some ladies who from all indications came for the same event troop in like candidates who were not shortlisted for Civil Defence application. The people in charge of the event kept enjoying themselves with no one even coming to my side to ask me what I care for so I can tell them I was not part of them.

One of the Guys sat with me while his friends made themselves comfortable in the seats beside us. I noticed he was looking at me probably so we can start up a conversation but I pretended I didn’t know he was sitting there.

When he placed order for two bottles of drink and a plate of meat, I was compelled to take a clear look at the person sitting with me.he is a plus size dude that could pass for a semi detached 2 rooms and Palour bungalow at. Dei Dei( May God forgive me).

While I was digging in my plantain and egg he started engaging me in small talks in pigeon English. The Guy who can pass for a sugar daddy started asking me “ babe how levels” “hope say ground tight”. I was just nodding and smiling in obedience like that guy in Airtel advert that have both her mum and mother in law competing in his house. Anyone who saw us would have believed that he was my date for the night.

From all indications he was not the kind of person I would have ordinarily want to gist or hang out with so I minded my business. Uncle kept commenting on anything he sees. He was just running his mouth like Tap water as if he works with water board. I became apprehensive of him when he started telling me that the Lady hosting people there is his Ex, and she has a kid for him and now she is about to be engaged to another guy.

I drank all my juice in one gulp all in an attempt to quench the food that choked me upon hearing what he said. This confirmed my earlier suspicion that he and his league actually came for a show down. I did not know the Nigeria equivalence of 911 so as to report a breach of public peace which was about to happen.

Again I advised myself that it was not the day to apply what they taught me in school that a private person can also effect an arrest if a crime is being committed in his presence before mmadu afuo m ka onugbu.
I have never been helpless like this. Our sitting arrangement even made it look as if we are the opposing faction against the host’s relationship. Amidst fear and trembling i stood my ground hoping that things would not go sideways.

I didn’t know what the Guy had in mind but I was just trying to advise him to just cool down. My advise was still flowing like a dew fall when he ordered for two extra bottles of another drink. It dawn in me that “Ukwa ana api, mkpuru adiro ya” and obviously it was a case of “ana adu onye ohi ji odu, ojiri obi na api mbazu( while advising a yam stealer, he will be sharpening his sword with his mind).

The host stood and started thanking his friends that came around. he started talking the his audience about his girl friend and her qualities and how she has stood by him since God knows when. His speech became solemn where people reasonably expect that its convenient to pop the big question.

I too was captivated by the guy’s speech that I didn’t realise when the big Uncle before me left his seat with her friends and where matching towards the guy. I was already imagining that this Guy “ga agwo nwoke a ka abacha” .

I couldn’t wait for that to happen, I raised my voice and shouted “Oga be fast, you girl friend ex is here”People that heard me didn’t wait to know if I was saying the truth or not and most people started scamping for safety. Where i was i saw the Guy holding the man in his shirt.

I was at the receiving end of the quarrel. Like he felt I spoilt his plans, he started throwing things he could lay his hands on towards where i was sitting . he took one plate of pepper soup he saw on the table and fling it towards our side. I shouted when small pepper water entered my eyes. I bent down to find my slippers and other mineral resources were still raining on me like fountain some even entered my body.

When the Guy saw me getting up from my seat to flee, he temporarily released the man and started coming towards me. I dashed out with my pepper soup body and lost him.

Taking off my top to take my bathe, I heard something fell off my bra to the ground. Behold it was an engagement ring.