Emotional fragility: keys to understanding and strengthening the "me"
Emotional fragility has nothing to do with emotional sensitivity. While we could define the latter as an exceptional quality of the human being, fragility mainly corresponds to a lack of tools to manage our most complex internal states and to a clear difficulty to face the simplest difficulties of everyday life. .
Let us focus first on the difference between these two terms by relying on an important fact. We often find people who come to "normalize" their emotional fragility and explain that it is their way of being, understanding and living life. "I am a sensitive person and I can not do anything about it," they say in self-defense.
We must understand that from the moment a behavior / attitude generates only suffering, insecurity and a lack of control over our own being, the excuses are worthless. Not when it stops us from being happy. Thus, while sensitive people have a broader view of society and a better way of connecting to their needs and their surroundings, people with frailty have much more limited emotional perspectives.
What's more, this trait often indicates an underlying problem: depressive disorders, anxiety, emotional mismanagement, and so on. It is therefore necessary to deepen this dimension a little further.
Emotional Fragility: Causes and Features
The American College Health Association published a few years ago an interesting work on emotional fragility. In the latter, we were told a very worrying fact: our young people are suffering more and more depression, stress, emotional dependence and, to scare us even more, think more and more about suicide. Behind this reality lie a clear emotional fragility and a lack of resources when facing the most usual difficulties.
Most of these psychological dimensions are rooted in educational styles. Families in recent decades are aware that our society requires more and more abilities to live there. This has led parents to intensify their efforts to complete the training of their children from a very young age.
They try to put the best possible resources at their disposal in order to guide them towards success, by sometimes obliging them to distinguish themselves and by constantly reminding them how special they are or how much they must be to triumph. All this is probably understandable; however, this point of view neglects certain details.
One of the most important details is that they are protected from failure: so many children are unable to tolerate frustration, no matter how small. On the other hand, they find it difficult to learn how to decide autonomously, feel unsure of themselves and are very clumsy when managing their own emotions. Little by little, they realize that they are not so "special" in the eyes of others and that they lack skills, resources and strategies to react to basic problems.
Strategies to strengthen the "me" and become emotionally strong people
To understand this process that can turn us into an emotionally strong person, we can visualize, for example, a porcelain cup. We know that it is sensitive, we can even see cracks, marks of its last fall. However, this porcelain cup is anything but fragile; it is a unique piece and wonderful in terms of its shape, its material and its small imperfections.
Therefore, we can afford to be sensitive but not to be fragile. We can not cross this line and let our whole being crack. If we allow this, our identity, our values and our inner beauty will escape. So, how do we get rid of those weaknesses that limit our happiness?
1/ A first step is to become aware of our emotional weaknesses, these empties that limit us and cause us to be unwell. Thus, and as curious as it may seem, certain activities have proved the usefulness of artistic therapy or art therapy. This is a sensational way to explore our thoughts, emotions and inner knots through colors, canvases and drawings.
2/ A second step is to assume a sense of responsibility towards oneself. Fragile people feel victimized by their environment, society, and the people around them. They are limited in their reactions, like a ball that is hit against a wall and bounces again and again. These people must take control of their lives and define a sense of real and courageous responsibility.
3/ This sense of responsibility requires putting aside past experiences and making changes in the present. Any change is accompanied by a feeling of fear but if we manage to remove these stones from our daily path, we will feel safer. We will become masters of our lives.
To conclude, it is obvious that this process is not simple and sometimes requires the help of a good psychologist. In the face of this intrinsic difficulty, let us remember that we all have the capacity to become emotionally stronger people. Let's take care of our porcelain mug to make it unique, strong and beautiful.