"Do you have Facebook?"

"What about Instagram?"

"Wait, so you don't have any social media?"

So, it marks over a year now in which I permanently deleted my Facebook account which was the last of mainstream social media accounts I had.

I always had a love hate relationship with social media. I used to think

"How can I keep in contact with friends without it?"

Or

"How will I know what events are on?"

My worries were soon put to rest when I realised it wasn't these social media platforms I had to rely on, it was my own social self I had to rely on.

If anything, I found myself being significantly LESS social when I had numerous accounts. I would rely heavily on this on-screen interaction to substitute face to face communication. No wonder I felt disconnected from everyone around me.

In contrast, I now make effort to communicate with people around me, I attend more interesting events, socialise with a wide variety of people, join groups that I enjoy and volunteer weekly as well as at events. All of which I never had the guts to do previously.

As well as being significantly more social, I have also become genuinely more happy.

I don't know about you guys, but when I had these accounts in the past I was so caught up with subconsciously judging and comparing my life with others. People I wouldn't even say hi to on the street I somehow had access to their day to day activities and I would make assumptions into their lives, probably many of which were completely false.

All this judgement made me continue to judge myself harsher and made me feel as if I had something to prove. "Is my life good enough?"

Guess what? Life's tough enough without that rubbish. We really don't need any of that.

On the lines of judgement, is this notion of having a constant need of validation in this modern social media world. People are starting to believe they are only beautiful or worthy if they get 'X' amount of likes on their photos. It's sad but it's the reality of the upcoming generation. I fell easily into that trap, taking opportunities to make me feel loved and worthy as they arose.

Without social media I must admit it was difficult to begin with, but then you slowly realise that this sort of validation is only a shallow means of fulfilment. There are far greater things that come from self-love and care, an internal validation that no amount of likes could ever fulfill.

Finally, one of the greatest things to arise from being social media free is the absolute limited amount of time I spend on my phone. When I'm out I rarely touch my phone unless I'm checking the time, writing, or listening to music on my way to a location. With Facebook or Instagram I'd spend hours scrolling through feeds, concentrating on my phone while missing the world around me.

It feels so wonderful now to step outside and people watch or use it as an opportunity to remain present in the moment rather than get distracted by an energy vampire source.

To sum it up, the greatest lessons I've learnt from being 1 year social media free are:

---

1. Social media doesn't equal being social

2. Nothing can replace genuine face to face interaction

3. We are in control of our own happiness

4. Validation through social media platforms is empty

5. Self-love and care is the ultimate fulfillment

5. There is so much beauty in the 'insignificant' day to day away from your smart phone screen

6. Inner contentment and peace arises in the present moment

Now I'm not attributing my positive change of state and attitudes solely to eliminating social media platforms but it has had a solid impact on it.

If any of these statements ring true for you I urge you to try it out. Maybe 1 week, maybe 1 month or maybe 1 year social media free.

Smell ya later mainstream social media!!

---

viazenar

For more self-development articles and original poetry please follow @viazenar

(Image 1: Shutterstock)
(Image 2: Banksy)