Fool me once, pack your shit. Better than looking at someone and thinking that this moth***er is going to be a reason I go to jail. Ohhh, what do you know about impulsivity...
Well, at some point in life, just like we all do, I started looking for a significant other and family. Some kind of puzzles for a portrait where I want to stay. I knew more or less about qualities and values I was looking for, and through each experience I was given with someone until now, I determined some "laws" to seek in a partner for spending my life with. It got me to cut my ego and impulsivity, in order to find out who is going to be the one for making love vows last and who will not. So here is what I came up with.
Choose a partner with your eyes closed. They say, we know the truth by the way it feels. In nowadays society, with all the innovation of technology, we meet people with different beliefs, different mentality, being from a completely different worlds, so the most important factor is - to accept your partner with your heart, to see him within and know - It's all you've been seeking and found. That is how you know.
Choose a partner who is willing to learn. Being able to acknowledge the infinite nature of being, evolving with kindness, loyalty, faith make relationship grow on every level. Seek for someone, who can accept and learn new things, new perspectives, someone who can see a different angle in the same light, someone who can see a sacred beauty of you. Choose a partner who wants to explore the Universe, who wants to learn you, to align with you and to love you with no judgment.
Choosing your partner, you choose yourself. Similarity are to stay. Seek for the one who knows you by the way you feel, just like you have already met before. Listen to the wisdom of your heart, because after the vows are being made, this person will be the biggest reflection of your life, and we mostly match with the ones who reflect us. Choose someone who doesn’t qualify to own you or share some time together , but someone who is - you.
Choose a partner who has a sense of compassion. I think, most would agree, being with emotionally unavailable person won't make life easier. Regardless of past mistakes and painful goodbyes, seek for someone who is able to honestly show you his pain, when it hurts, with no fear to be weak or misunderstood. Go for a person, who heals your wounds, when life cuts you, who never blames you for his own scars and insecurities, but instead, is strong enough to open up emotionally, and acknowledge the moment, when to take a step forward, and when to step back.
Choose a partner who has a bigger purpose. Life is not about living it fabulously and die, It's about living life with a meaning. At the end of the day, what is this all for? In fact, many of us are rushing throughout days, weeks, years, trying to reach the top goal we set, but at the end, a Monk sold his Ferrari. Choose partnership that has a bigger purpose, partnership where wisdom, souls, love, truth - have a rare meaning. There will be times when you'll be beautifully complete in wholeness and times, when you'd have to be apart, but your connection will never fade for it's build for greater reasons. Seek for partnership that can't be destroyed. Over distance, over time and space, throughout the fire and the hurricanes, you'll stay as one.
Choose someone who doesn't get irritated by your "lovely flaws", when they aren't that lovely anymore. Such as snoring, laughing in annoying way or eating like a little pig. I believe, couples who go through life together are those to admire. It is, at times challenging, but we're here for love and grace, aren't we?
Choose a partner who can be your best friend, as you are a best friend for yourself. You have to be a team, partners in crime with someone who has your back. It's like spending your life with another you, with a difference in gender. If you can't commit to yourself, If you don't admire yourself, then maybe you haven't found yourself yet? Actually, the most beautiful thing about such partnership - is the flow. You don't have to force it, push it or demand it. It just is, it's natural, smooth, it comes from within and flows, like a stream flows into the ocean.
I've learned by far, that someone who is meant to be with you in this lifetime, will recognize you like his own reflection in your waters. Among million eyes in a crowd, he will find yours, among million different smells, he will recognize yours, and in the deepest silence, he will hear the voice of your heart. Make a choice that makes you feel peaceful.
Lastly, I want to remind you to laugh. It is truly important to choose a partner who has enormous sense of humor, to share positivity with this person, to make ridiculous jokes and laugh at each other, through all the good and the bad times. Have fun and don't miss out on life trying to achieve all the goals overnight or constantly prove something to each other. It is healthy to simply remember to feel you're alive.
Your partnership has to make your life shine. As Jacques Lacan said : " What does it matter how many lovers you have, If none of them gives you the Universe?" Choose the one who does.