Early Man Becomes 'homus ridiculous', Otherwise Known as Modern Man
They called him 'Early Man', but nobody knows why, since he slept until nearly lunchtime most days.
Early Man knew how to grow some weed though, and could often be found carrying around bags of seeds to be used in his cultivation practices.
When Early Man wasn't growing and trading weed, he was making primitive art in his back yard studio.
Growing weed, making art, it seemed like Early Man had things pretty easy, but according to most legends, history changed one day when Early Man was lounging beside a waterway with nothing in particular to do, and found a jar floating in the water.
Early Man was amazed to see that inside the jar was a few hundred bucks in cash, and he knew that things were about to change for him in a dramatic way.
Early Man would evolve, and instead of being Early Man, he would become Evening Man, and evidence shows that Evening Man wore shirts, and indeed Evening Man had found that simply by waving his jar full of money around, he would attract all types of female suitors exhibiting their typical mating behavior.
(It wasn't long before Evening Man had a girlfriend, and according to ancient records, she ended up with the jar, the kids and the luxury cave.)
The Worst Day of Early Man's Life?
Some historians and anthropologists suggest that Evening Man actually devolved when he found that jar of money, and the archeological records show that in the age following his discovery of money, Evening Man forgot how to grow weed, forgot how to attract a mate properly, and even forgot how to survive on his own planet without his money.
The existence of Evening Man can be said to be a myth; that Early Man devolved when he got that roll of cash, and that he went straight to being homus ridiculous when money showed up in his life. In other words, Early Man became what we now know as Modern Man as soon as he saw that flash of green cash in the ever-giving stream that he was lounging next to.
Such is the record of how homus ridiculous came to be, and how sometimes what seems like a discovered treasure often turns out to be misfortunate occurrence.
photos above are mine, salvaged from old hard-drive from 2017, arranged here for entertainment and educational purposes, but mostly for amusement
My plan for surviving on this planet after civilization collapses is simple: Disappear into the mountains for about a week, which I figure is more than enough time for the majority of people to die in the ensuing chaos. Then return from the mountains and start helping myself to all the food and shit that's left behind. I'm sure there will be lots of jars full of money lying around, too, but obviously I won't need those.
I seriously can't wait for the apocalypse
"We also seriously can't wait for the apocalypse" -- Mountain Lions
I missed this one 🤣. Found a jar floating in water" 😅. Great post Early Man
"and how sometimes what seems like a discovered treasure often turns out to be misfortunate occurrence." Looking like it can go both ways...
Alan Watts is one of my favorites, thanks for sharing this.
Mine as well :)
But of course. Green does tend to devolve us, bring us to points so far beyond where we should have gone. Like the sky.
Sorry. I have this obsession with the perfect green of the sky. Be that as it may...
Reminds me of the great line by some comedian, I forget who and can't seem to find it online. It goes something along the lines of:
Around this region, a green sky is supposed to be a sign of tornados.
I like the astronaut joke!
Whatever you do, make sure the dog stays in the basement.
Or just go witch-killing. Your call.
HAHA! You had me hooked from the very start, brother! I guess the main lesson we can get here is that Early Man is no match for Early Woman? Considering everything, I would say Modern Man isn't all that shabby.
Early Woman was smart enough to let Early Man think that he was in charge. He still thinks he's the boss, hilariously.
Tell Modern Woman that. These days, they're all up in this so-called Faminist (fame-inist?) agenda, they keep forgetting they're the ones actually calling the shots!
haha, yes, the creation of money was indeed a creation of a master and thereby slave existence
up is down, left is right.
laugh, because not one of us is getting out alive.