If you play with a psychopath, can you make them cum?..... comedyopenmic#30

in blog •  2 months ago

This is a joint effort, with @lucylin and myself, although there were no actual joints involved, nor were any joints hurt in this production.
Lucylin has done the typing for me. (English not being my first language).

Because I'm a woman, I expect you to accept this entry into the comedyopenmic#30, and give me first prize.

I really don't want first prize, I'm doing that part for you...This will allow you to feel virtuous and non misogynistic, both at the same time.


Firstly, because I'm a woman - and there seems so precious few of us around these parts...
Secondly I'm a woman, and when there are 50 men to every woman, we have all the power.
Thirdly, I'm a woman, and men will do anything to ingratiate themselves into the attentions of a sexy, buxom female. (which I am. Very).
...and finally, I'm a woman - and by not accepting my post, it would make me cry and be very upset.

And we all know that you big strong handsome men out there in comedyopenmic world, wouldn't want to make poor wittle me, upset, would you?
While I don't believe misogyny is anything except stupidity, my ample boob size does allow me to use that term a lot, to my advantage.
So I do.

Psychopathy is a fascinating subject.

I have known many true psychopaths in my time.

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None of them can dance very well, did you know that?
They can do the moves, but they are never really 'in the moment'. ( psssst, boys: It's a little bit like when you know - deep down- that she's faking it... that kind of thing.)
P.s we fake it - a lot. And you will never, ever , truly know.....bless...
(except with lucylin of course, I'd never fake it then...honest...)

Anyway, back to psychopaths and making them cum come.
Sorry, English isn't my first language and spelling mistakes happen.
(even when it's not me typing...somehow...errr...something ....something...darkside).

....But if you are going to make 'them' cum come , you first have to find one.

While it is almost impossible to identify a psychopath (or socioptah) online, it is possible to identify personality traits of an individual, and from that build a picture.
Psychopaths do seem to have some 'commonality' traits.

1/ Lack of empathy. (they actively rejoice in other peoples misfortunes, and enjoy inflicting emotional and physical distress on others.)
2/Superiority complex - completely egocentric twats.
3/Small penises. (If they are soy boys as well, it's absolutely minuscule..)
4/ An inability to be consistent.
Their ego drives them to look like humongous dicks quite often -especially if they are not too bright.
(Many times its the only way they can ever experience the feeling of a having a large penis.)
5/Pretending to love things and then chopping them into small pieces, with no emotional concerns or regret..

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There are people that express some of these traits that are not psychopaths of course, and as such I cannot categorically say that the case here is psychopathic, in no way.
He might just be a soyboy loser with a moderate IQ, small penis, and massive insecurities.

....But that's ok - he's still in need a comedyopenmic slapdown..(My rates are very reasonable for slapdown's , if that's your thing. ..I'm very good....).
@lucylin was struggling with this character assassination exercise - the poor thing.

He's a much nicer person, than I am.

I'm not struggling with it, in the slightest....
I give Soyboys all the respect they deserve. Zero. (I like real men).
They obviously have no self respect, so it seems very silly for me to give them any...

All this started with taking pleasure in a dead cat, and some weird comments.

....which not only gave an insight into a mental landscape concerning the value that is put on life but also the pleasure found, in others peoples emotional distress, as he - incorrectly - perceived it.
He seems to get a lot of things incorrect, bless.
It's good job he's not a doctor or caregiver, or something....

.....Taking pleasure in other peoples unhappiness.

(This is a very sociopath, psychopathic trait.... )

So I thought a ridicule piece would be a very nice thing to do..

Ridicule is something that psychopath's hate, btw.. Ridicule and exposure.
I mean like, truly despise.
It sends them nuts. (I would say 'psycho', but...)

....And just like dancing, they have no genuine sense of humor. They can only mimic it as a learned skill, and not really ever feel it.

And then I wondered ...' could I ever make a psycho so incensed at me by the ridicule I dump on him, that he would fly over the oceans, to cum come and see me...?'

.... that got my juices flowing.
I mean really flowing...I couldn't possibly explain to you, just quite how much...

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I never even knew what an in incell was, until I saw it in this post. I had to google it. (It means 'involuntary celibate')

Even though this is very true with regards to lucylin ( I decide how celibate he is..!), this post highlighted many things..

Stupidity for starters. (only a complete retard would use the incell term in regards of lucylin.)
Researching the facts is not a big thing, it seems. Coming from a student doctor, this is quite concerning..
That, and the fact he's sleeping with me. (Lucylin, not a soyboy..omg!...eeewwwwww.) -
He's still involuntary celibate though....hahahaha.
Insecure in his position, and feigning intelligence to hide it, (it has to be feigned, if you use terms like 'out of the dark ages of sexism and misogyny'), he got my attention.

After lucylin pointed this comment out to me, I then took a much deeper look into him.....

This person is training to be doctor, gp, (or something)...

...Ah, the Hippocratic oath...'do no harm...' but yet, can find happiness in the death of an animal? - and also take pleasure in his perceived upset of another human being, because of that death....mmmm..
...does anyone have any red flags, please?
I think we are gonna need a few....

Not the brightest thing to ever shine, it has to be said - his anger and childishness seem to be his masters.

Committing to telling of details of your life, and your inner self is fine, if you have nothing to hide, BUT if you do have a darker side that you don't wish to expose to the world, (like taking pleasure in the death of cats, and the emotional distress it may cause) _ then putting it into the 'never to be erased blockchain' seems a bit..... well......stooopid.._


It makes you wonder if Shipman would have sent similar kinds of comments, doesn't it...

...And I bet Harold Shipman was a shit dancer, to....

In part 2 I'll continue this soyboy attack. Not because I'm enjoying it (yeah right), but it's the right for everyone to know exactly who they are dealing with...

Remember boys.... my boobs always 'pop out' when I get excited..like if I received a first prize or something...
I'll even post a piccy to prove it...
Please don't hate me because I'm a poor defenseless girl...

i nominate @lk666 ....because he needs a laugh...and @tfcoates ..because he needs a life...

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Hi lucyreloaded,

Thank you for your entry in to #comedyopenmic comedy contest. We have asked the judges below to review your entry and give it a funny rating. (They generally have no sense of humor, as the saying goes, those that can't do, start contests and judge).
This will determine your ultimate position when the results are tallied. (That being said, you are free to adopt any position you wish - we can recommend pantsless with beer in hand.)


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I was so sure i was a psychopath, but i'm such a damn good dancer. so that puts my mind at ease briefly, but then i thought about how much i like chopping logs into little pieces. now i'm conflicted.

I remember reading in a study somewhere that stated " If women did not have the evolutionary safety net of having a vagina, Men would have killed them and ate them a long time ago." So I guess all I can say is thanks for assuring our species existance. Hope that makes you excited and your boob pops out.

The lady doth protest too much, methinks.


...want me to scweam? lol