The Grandchildless Bitch

in blog •  19 days ago

New mommies, I know how stubborn you can be. However, if you take this one piece of advice from me, I think you'll benefit in the future.

Hello, mommies! I am the mother of the Childless Bitch. Yes, she does have parents and was not raised by a pack of wild wolves. I have two real daughters, and two not-so-real daughters and a not-so-real son -- i.e., stepchildren I inherited with my second marriage. One of my not-so-real daughters recently gave birth to a not-so-real grandson, whom I adore, but I still long for a bloodline of my own.


source

That being said, I think I have earned the right as a mother, stepmother, and stepgrandmother to vent a little. So here's what fumes me about today's new mothers: In short, they think they know it all. In their eyes, our generation just got off the boat (and by boat, I mean the Mayflower) and we did things akin to Wilma Flintstone. Our advice is as outdated as the cassette tape. Have they forgotten who raised them and that they turned out (for the most part) totally OK -- with all their limbs intact?

When these new mommies were babies, we didn't have shopping cart covers, placemat covers, and covers for our covers. Our babies' heads fit through the bars of the crib, and yes, we stuck them in a 4 x 4 cage while we got something done in the house. So what? I don't see any 30-year-olds running around with rectangle-shaped heads or an abnormal fear of small square spaces -- after all, most of them work in a cube now anyway. When they were little, there was no five-second rule. In fact, there was no rule at all as long as you got to it before the dog. I don't recall taking my kids to the doctor for fear that they were exposed to hoof and mouth disease from running around the playground. We didn't isolate our babies in our homes until the law said we had to enter them in school for fear that they would catch some man-eating virus. In fact, our kids got most of their protein from eating worms and dirt. How much more organic can you get?

In closing, new mommies, I know how stubborn you can be. However, if you take this one piece of advice from me, I think you'll benefit in the future. When your kids are a little older and get to college, encourage them to major in psychology. With all the crazy rules you are establishing, and all the fear you are putting into their developing minds, their generation is going to be craving therapy like they crave Purell. It's going to be a booming business.

Authors get paid when people like you upvote their post.
If you enjoyed what you read here, create your account today and start earning FREE STEEM!