Forget the Banana Wars! I'm going full Potato!

in bananawars •  3 months ago

Yes, all the turn coat business has got me down. I've been having a hard time keeping up with which coat I was supposed to be wearing, and in the end I just alienated both potential allies. Seems like I am now on the outside looking in.

So I am remaking myself.

Yes, I am done with fruit... and vegetables, and meat, and chocolate. Now, it is only potatoes for me!

I kind of wish I was joking, but here's the thing. I have been reading a book by Penn Jillette/

Image from Amazon Listing for "Presto: How I lost 100 Pounds Disappear and other Magical Tales"

Penn, the more talkative half of the Magician Duo Penn & Teller has always been a big man. He comes in at 6'7" and towers over most people. But he was also a Obese man, tipping the scale at over 330 pounds. He was told he HAD to lose weight and went on a crazy journey in which he lost 100 pounds over the course of a year.

Penn Before and after his weight loss journey

I had heard about Penn's weight loss, and I actually saw it in motion as I watch his television shows and had seen his transformation, and yet I thought nothing of it.

I've always been a "big guy" too... My annual physical consists of the doc telling me to join weight watchers and lose weight. I've tried to lose weight, including all the weight watchers processed micro meals, but my weight has continued to climb. I work at a desk all day and have never enjoyed exercise. I try to force myself to exercise, and in the past week I have gone to the gym four times and burned roughly 2000 calories on the elliptical, but I'm not sure if I can keep that up.

I never looked into how Penn had lost all that weight until the other day I came across another fat man that I have followed throughout his career.

Kevin Smith before and after from Fatherly

Kevin Smith, actor, director, producer, and self proclaimed "Fat Man" had spent the last six months shedding 51 pounds. He had a massive heart attach earlier this year and absolutely had to lose the weight so that he could continue to watch his daughter grow up. How did he choose to lose the weight? He read Penn's book and followed the same advice.

So if two guys who both made careers on being fat and taking pride in it can manage to shed the weight, why can't I?

So what do potatoes have to do with it all? Well that's what you eat! Lots and lots of potatoes.

For two weeks you literally eat nothing but Potatoes. Baked, Boiled, Broiled, mashed just not fried. You can eat as many potatoes as you want, but nothing but potatoes! 2-3 pounds of Potatoes a day!

After the initial two weeks you can start adding in other healthy vegetables, corn, onions, peppers, broccoli, carrots, etc. But you are basically giving up meat until you get to your target weight.

Oh... and you can't flavor the potatoes. No salt, no oil, no butter, certainly no sour cream, a bit of pepper is allowed, but that's it. You are supposed to "taste the potato".

So in two weeks I am going to Taste the Potato. I have a business trip coming up and will be traveling with partners and eating out all week, but once that trip comes to an end, I will be buying a couple of big bags of potatoes.

I'm about halfway through Penn's book, I will be done with it before I officially start the diet, though I am starting to watch my food intake more. I ate my burger without condiments or a bun with a side of boiled potatoes tonight. And you know what, it didn't suck.

Look, This is NOT a diet book. It's not a step by step how to, although Penn walks you through the steps he took, it isn't a guide. Do not pick this book up if you are easily offended. Penn is vulgar and crude, he is to the point and doesn't mince words. He refers to himself and his friends as "Fat Fuck". He and his "Fat Fuck" friends went on a weight loss journey, and he is telling the story of that journey. There are other books that will guide you through this diet, Penn is just telling his story.

Boiling it down (pun intended) a pound of potatoes contains 347 calories. There is plenty of Protein and vitamins as long as you eat the skin. So three pounds of potato a day puts you right around 1000 calories, which certainly puts a full grown man into calorie deficit. And that is where weight loss comes in.

I'm not a big selfie person, so you won't see before and after pictures from me, but maybe once I am at a comfortable weight I'll post some of the after pictures. The goal is about 60 pounds of weight gone for me. We'll see how it goes!

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Potatoes are about the easiest thing you can get when going out to eat. Although, getting a waiter to actually fucking listen to you when you say "no sour cream" is hard enough, saying no salt too might just break their brain, or lack thereof.