Mom in China: which is not collapsing while holding on

What kind of person works 24 hours a day, all year round?

Not only do you know everything about martial arts, but you have to become an elite warrior at a young age without any experience at all.

Your answer might be a fireman, a doctor, or a special forces soldier.

But there's one more answer that can't be ignored: mom.

01
I'm still a kid
Start taking care of the kids

"At the age of 25, I was able to sleep less than four hours a day."
"People think I'm a dog or a program lady, but I'm a new mom."

I do not always understand why all people know that when I was a young mother, they would unanimously express their admiration and say that I was very happy?

I must learn to take care of my children when I am still a child myself.

Friends of the same age, some are still reading, some have just entered the workplace, some are still enjoying the sweet love..

They couldn't understand why I couldn't have a full sleep every day without work. They couldn't understand why I often cried helplessly in the quilt, but smiled through tears when I saw the sweet sleeping of the children on my side.

No one can understand the pain of a new mother.

02
You can do all the hard work
Why can't even have a baby?

My colleagues used to call me "the office superwoman".

From the most basic report making and copy writing, to the complicated PPT proposal to the client, leading a team of dozens to complete a project worth tens of millions I almost never let my leader down.

My colleagues' envy, superiors' praise and generous bonus made me feel proud that I could do anything. Until I became a mother

I became a mother at 35.

I once the female devil of the fierce in the workplace, but in the matter of taking a baby completely defeated.

There is no answer.

During the day, I worked in a tight and efficient company. I went home from work at 6 o 'clock to buy vegetables and cook milk babies. Every night, I finished my housework with my children.

It is not easy to welcome the precious time of rest, crying children have let the dream of sleep in the bubble.

Although the husband sometimes also will voluntarily change the baby diapers, coax the child to sleep.

Can be in take baby this matter, mother after all want to be more meticulous, especially see the husband often work overtime to be tired to get home late at night, I again and again heart soft, will take baby's heavy responsibility all to own body.

Waking up once an hour, screaming for milk, all the work piling up on the computer desk, all the unhelpful husbands......

I was finally driven mad, wailing on the 4 a.m. balcony, and asking myself:

"You can do all the hard work, but you can't even bring a baby?"

03
My long anxieties
From the moment you give birth

At the wedding, all my friends wish us an early birth, if we can give birth to a man and a woman, a pair of "good", that is more complete.

Two years later, I actually gave birth to twins.

The moment the baby was born, the entire hospital room was filled with cheers from family and friends.

I alone, looking at the starving children, began the long anxiety officially.

A year and four months is the most important time for a child's first growth, and a constant battle with postpartum anxiety.

The pain of rising milk, the crying of children, the husband who is not good at taking care of children, the unknown and distant future...

Physical, psychological exhaustion interweaves together, like a big invisible net around me.

I cried, cried, tried to break free, and ran as hard as I could.

I want to talk to someone, but who has the obligation to listen to your confusion all night?

I want to get out of here too, but I'm out of here hey, what about the kids?

The child is a small light in my heart, the dazzling light illuminates her world, but also often is accidentally pricked by the light.