Society Criminalizing Self-Defense, Schools Punishing the Bullied, and Learned Helplessness
Don't stand up for yourself. Don't defend yourself from aggressors or bullies. Don't make them stop. Don't get help. Just let yourself get walked all over as the so-called responsible adults in authority do nothing. What happens when the so-called "authorities" do nothing?
Source
This seems to be the case in some schools. Sometimes you can be physically fit and put them in their place, but the bullies don't like that and might come at you with their gang of low-consciousness friends to dominate you once more.
In the regular world if you get harassed, humiliated or assaulted, you have methods of recourse to address the issue and stop being victimized. At work, you can talk to bosses or go to the HR department to bring action to bear against oppressors (maybe). You can also quit your job.
Outside of work or even with work-related issues, you can also go to the judicial system and file charges, like getting a restraining order. There are options available. There ares choice you can make. What about in school? In school you are stuck there.
Many people avoid the conflicting situation that doesn't go away. Employees might avoid going to work if nothing happens to change the situation, until they eventually quit or get fired. In school you can also call in sick, avoid going to th eplace where you get bullied. But you can't just leave.
Trying to get the school to deal with the issue is a large task in itself much of the time. The so-called responsible adults that are supposed to help children, don't seem to want to get involved and actually put an end to the abuser. If someone is doing something wrong, they should face consequences rather than let their wrong-actions to harm someone else continue, unabated. It's such a level of moral ignorance school employees and society has in this respect!
So parents often have to find another school for their child to protect them from harm and violence being inflicted upon them at a physical and psychological level. How is that the right things for a society to do? When there is an aggressor, let them remain in the environment, and make it so that the victim has to go find a safer place to exist? Things are seriously messed up in the education system and with societies ability to recognize aggressors and how to deal with them.
If anything, the bully should be the one removed from school, not the bullied. The bully should receive psychological help and counseling to heal their broken psyche and allow them to be a non-violent member of the school community.
Some schools are so mismanaged, that they even suspend the victim who is being bullied if they try to defend themselves from a bully. After enough torment, enough is enough, and people rightfully stand up for themselves and try to make the bully stop. Adults in the school aren't doing a damn thing about it to make it stop. They have to rely on themselves.
But god forbid anyone be able to rely on themselves and defend themselves in school... let alone society.
This is how we are made to abdicate our personal responsibility and learn to be helpless. To be cowards or false-"pacifists" who don't use righteous and just fore to stop violence. You're not allowed to defend yourself, you have to call the police, call a teacher, call the boss, call someone else in "authority" to come do it for you.
If you dare, dare to stand up for yourself, to defend yourself, to stop the aggression or violence, you are seen as the violent offender. You get suspended, fired or charged with a crime. What kind of messed up society have we created?
Thank you for your time and attention. Peace.
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I know I may be at the risk of sounding like my father here, but when I was a lad and bullied at school I felt confident enough in my teachers to go to them and tell them about the problem. Back then they had the power to actually do something about it and enforce some discipline (we still had the cane etc back then). I know corporal punishment is a huge no-no now but teachers today have no way of controlling the more 'difficult' students who seem to be allowed to run riot and make everyone's life a misery. Many suffer because the few get away with disruptive and sometimes violent behaviour. Corporal punishment, or the threat of it, and expulsion from school, was the last resort but we all knew it was there and ready to be used if necessary. The school then was self-regulating and rarely, if ever, had recourse to involve outside agencies.
As to the point of standing up for yourself. All the teachers at my school knew who the troublemakers were and had a pretty good grasp on what the 'dynamics' of the school were. If someone who was normally quiet stood up for themselves, the teachers used to give them 'the benefit of the doubt' and invariably let them off with a small reprimand. I sometimes think they were quietly pleased that the person had stood up for themselves and confronted a bully.
I hope I don't come across as someone advocating a wholesale return to corporal punishment, but schools seem to have very little, if anything, with which to combat bad behaviour.
Thanks for the post.
You don''t need corporal punishment for children when there is the threat of being ostracized. That is a greater fear and a more long term consequence. Consequences are important. Those who are being victimized should have full permission to stand up and defend themselves if they can. Then they can apply their own consequences to the bully. Otherwise, step in your ignorant adults in authority that takes away the children's autonomous authority, and deal with the violator. Thanks for the feedback, appreciated :)
Before I home schooled my son, in his last year of school (5th grade) he had a bully hitting him daily. I kept pushing him to fight back, and about midyear he did. I had to go see his principal, where with him sitting there I explained a few things.
1- That my son was not there to be a punching bag.
2- That it was obvious the school would do nothing to stop it.
3- And most importantly, that while my son might be in trouble at school, he was a hero at home and getting a celebration thrown for having the courage to stand up for himself.
Needless to say, she (the principal) was beside herself, yet unable to say anything of value attacking my logic. That punk never hit my son again, despite having at least 30 pounds on him.
This move to steal the masculinity from males has permeated society for many years now, seeking to almost criminalize it while bombarding men with female hormones and estrogen like properties. It is no wonder that sperm counts are down. None of this has been on accident, in my opinion. They no longer contented themselves with making us spill the best of our blood on foreign soil, this way is quicker and more far reaching.
Bravo! I'm glad he was able to fend off the bully and cease the torment. Many are not that fortunate :/ Thanks for the great feedback, appreciated :)
Indeed. It's all over. Plastics and other things are endocrine disruptors. We are being changes at a biological level... it's sad what has become of humanity...
Human nature dictates to defend ourselves. They must be teaching our youth an agenda of non defense. Sad. This going along with the anti gun agenda and other socialist crap. The schools are used as a propaganda tool to influence and mold the future of the world. They have been doing it for several generations now. It is only worse. Started in the universities and colleges 3 - 5 generations ago and now has trickled down to be mainstream. Sad. Thanks for sharing. @krnel Folks should not give in to social shaming for standing up for yourself.
Yeah, indoctrination centers to conform to the established norms of society... and degrade it through socialist postmodern subjectivist bullshit ;)
Our society is based on violence perpetrated because institutions have some normative support to make the individuals interiorize the process of the hierarchy and the pyramid of power.
Bullies are groups of cowards that put all against one as escape goats to avoid the fight of all against all and reinforce the union of the group.
And nowadays even professors and sometimes security are afraid of the bullies and avoid the confrontation.
One of the worst kind of violence in the society is not to help those who need it.
The first day of schooll is to show that you have to accept your place in the hierarchy and internalized the submission.
Yeah, what use is "Security" if they don't do anything to secure freedom and peace against violence... lol.
It's not violence to not help those that need it. It's doing nothing. Not exerting any force to stop a violator or to help a victim, is not violence.
School could be better for sure. But there is hierarchy at many levels of life. Parents to children. Teacher to student. But I know what you mean, the submission to blind hierarchical structures, as opposed to soft hierarchy of those who know more teaching those who know less and willing to stand for principles, not on ego and blind authority. Thanks for the feedback.
It IS very messed up.
On Sunday, I was sitting in our gallery when a "Responsible Adult™" walked in with about 15 11-13 year olds. I'm not sure whether he was chaperoning a school group, or it was an art camp outing, or what... but he not only had zero control of the situation; he wandered around like a zombie, almost as if he were pretending the 15 out-of-control pre-teens were merely a figment of his imagination.
As things started to get a little out of hand and I started in with my "dad voice" (having been part of raising three) and trying to establish a little order, not only did he NOT make any attempt to take charge, he actually shot me a "butt-out" dirty look. I'm thinking "DUDE! You're in charge of 15 adolescent urchins who are treating a fine arts establishment like it's an outing to the video arcade!"
It's not exactly the same as you're talking about, BUT it still feels like an extension of a certain hands-off lawlessness attitude that's spreading.
That's wacked, what a door knob push over, and then he gives you a glare when you dare to try to put some order and responsibility in the setting... psshhh. Good on you for trying ;)
50 years of cultural marxism and leftist policies coming home to roost - for the final push to a subservient population, and big brother dystopia.
If you consider that independence and non reliance of the state for a couple of millenia, has been the nor, and then within 50 everything has been turned around.
It smacks of social engineering, and not natural evolution...
Willing slaves to authority.
Dystopia is right, willing slaves to authority, social engingeering, yup. The future looks frightening... can we prevent the crap from hitting the fan...
I think the fan at this point, is well and truly hit.
Can we clean the fan to get it working again?....
It's gonna get messy.....
Stand up for yourself, that is that mantra we must all repeat. There are way too many bullies in our schools. We simply can not continue with the same lackluster results we've been getting. Something has to be done Thanks for making a post we all need to #READ.
People need to care and understand how morality works, that we have a right to stop harm and aggression against us when we did nothing to harm another. Adults can help children in that role as an "authority", and show that violent behavior is not to be tolerated... if only they were willing to live under the authority of morality...
This is by design.
You cannot defend yourself.
You must appeal to the governing authority and they will decide when, if, and what sort of protections you are to be afforded.
Absolutely. Shut up, stay in line, and if we want to give you a pat on the back then we will decide. :P
To be honest, many schools around the world (at least in developed countries) adopt strict anti bullying policies. How effective are these is another question.
I wonder...
Well, at least something is being done. In my young ages, bullying was a normal thing and nobody even called it a bullying. What's different now is the technology which allows fast access to information. 20 years ago the gossip would spread to small circle of friends, some bully post a sensitive picture on Facebook wall and immediately the whole schools knows and the poor kid is afraid to show up in the school next day.
being a teacher I always guide and motivate my students