Alice and the Knowing Heads

To know what side your bread is buttered on

Alice had searched for days on end to find the Knowing Heads, as her weary feet began to falter she discovered their hiding place.
'Knowing Heads I have traveled far,' said Alice. 'Seeking from you the truth.''
A low rumble began as the ground beneath her feet shook. Earthworms pushed from their holes, wiggling across the grass and around her shoes. Then the grinding sound of stone upon stone made her wince. The stone heads began to turn like millstones making flour from wheat. They faced her direction, but did not open their eyes.

'What truth do you seek Alice?' said the Knowing Head to her left.
'You know my name?' replied Alice.
'Of course we know your name we are the all knowing. Isn't that why you are here Alice? I feel like we are wasting time,' said the left Knowing Head.

'If time is something you could waste!' piped up the Knowing Head on her right.
'Mmmmmm.' pondered Alice to this notion. 'I feel we are getting off track. I am here to ask you a question.'
'Well get on with it.' Said the head to her left.

'We are having a tea party, a very special tea party,' said Alice. 'I am making the sandwiches and they need to be the best sandwiches in the world, the best they have ever tasted. When I say 'they' I mean Bob and his friends. Though Eve is not invited.'
'She is rambling on!' shouted the head to her right.
'Rambling!' agreed the head to her left.
Alice ignored their rudeness. 'Anyway,' she said. 'What is the best sandwich, in the whole world?'
The Knowing Heads rumbled and groaned, as a few small pebbles fell from their heads. They were thinking.
The Knowing Head on her right spoke first. 'A chip sandwich, you may know them as fries, is always good. Especially when made with buttered bread and ketchup.'
Alice noticed a trickle of moisture run from the right head's mouth, as if it was salivating.

'Don't forget the joy of a cheese and crisp sandwich. Lovely cheddar layered with potato chips. Nom, nom ,nom!' said the head on her left.
There was a long pause, the heads were contemplating the deliciousness of sandwiches. Finally the head to her left broke the silence.
'Alice the truth that you seek lies within a jar, sticky to the touch and spread with a knife. Jam Alice, jam. The finest of all sandwiches is jam. Strawberry jam,' said the left Knowing Head, before returning to its dormant state.
'Jam?' questioned Alice.
'Yes, Jam. Now go away!' shouted the the Knowing Head to her right. It then turned and also went back to its state of rest.

'This was a long way to come to get the answer jam,' said Alice. 'Now who should I ask about cake?'

A story and illustration by Ophelia Fu

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