BEASTLY TALES

THE TENOR

Enrique Cuppacocoa a tenor he was,
Why was he a tenor? Just because, because,
He would fill his lungs with his diaphragm,
And out came the notes, he’d really slam!
If you felt of further need to convince,
Listen to Enrique in the Student Prince,
His talent was so evident … it captures,
The audience, doting on him in raptures,
In opera he developed a significant fan base,
Seats were all filled, only standing space.

Enrique Cuppacocoa loved his food,
His stomach, through his buttons, did extrude.
Spaghetti Bolognase with Chianti, his favourite lunch.
And this after a substantial breakfast and brunch.
He sang sometimes, with the Three Tenors, as he saw,
The need to expand their vocalising, to make it four.
He was often heard practising, “Ole, Sole, Mio”,
Sometimes all alone, but often In a trio.

Enrique Cuppacocoa loved a Mezzo-Soprano,
They sang together beautifully at the piano,
She, too, loved food, and had let herself go,
Enrique lovingly caller her his Messy-Soprano.
Her name was Candice, and she wasn’t so thrilled,
To be called a Messy Soprano, as Enrique her had billed.
“Enrique, please don’t call me that!”
“You are indicating that I’m fat!”
“A smidgen on the plump side I may be,”
“But I only have pasta every other day for tea,”
Enrique Cuppacocoa would slap her resoundingly on her bottom,
She would flinch and say she hasn’t got’em.
Referring to the box of bon bons Enrique like to pick
Eating bon-bons until they made him sick.

Enrique Cuppacocoa said, “We should settle down,”
Candice stipulated, “Only if you’re not a clown.”
“In other words you must cease and desist,”
“Calling me a Messy Soprano, it really makes me pissed!”
“And while we are about it,”
“I feel the need to shout it,”
“I cannot just see any which way,”
“I’ll be called Mrs Cuppacocoa on any day.”
“You’re going to have to simply change your name”
“It is just so stupid, and I’m not to blame.”
Enrique Cuppacocoa felt hurt to the quick.
That anyone would disparage his name, really made him sick.
Said he, “The Cuppacocoas go way back in time,”
“Cuppacocoa heros are always thought sublime”
“General Cuppacocoa won the battle of Gigolo,”
“He confounded the enemy with a little wriggel-o”
“Moving his troops side ways, instead of head on,”
“By the time the enemy realized, he had been and gone.”
“So as you can readily comprehend,”
“To change my name would really be the end.”

Candice saw that Enrique was really resolute,
She’d have to accept Cuppacocoa to satisfy the brute.
Candice Cuppacocoa really wasn’t quite so bad,
Compared to some names that other people had.
They could double up their surnames,
Making up much-prefer names,
Candice’s surname was Luvva,
She’d inherited it from her father not her mother,
She and Enrique would consequently become,
Luvva-Cuppacocoa, what a juicy plum!