BEASTLY TALES

CROWDS

Jammed-packed people it is avowed,
Constitute a mind-numbing crowd.
This can be more than intimidating,
To the chap, about whom we’re relating.
Roger Raspberry is his name,
Crowd dodging, definitely his game.
Anthrophobia? Yes, well almost,
At a party, “goodbye”, his favourite word to his host.
The plain fact of the matter,
He couldn’t abide the natter,
Yes, the incessant hubbub and loud chatter,
Drove him to feel as demented as the Mad Hatter.
It sounded as though they repeated the word RHUBARB, in a confused din.
Sending his addled head into a spin.

Roger Raspberry went to a supermarket in the morning,
Thinking it might be empty, but crowds were spawning,
At 10am, there they all were, filling car park and every door.
Roger Raspberry crossed the crowded floor,
Feeling unable to take much more.
The easiest way through the crowd he heeded.
Painfully, he found those things he needed.
All checkouts had lines of overstuffed trolleys.
Such heavy purchasing must be full of follies.
Roger Raspberry thought, “I feel awfully queer,”
“I just needed to quickly get out of here!”
But all had been designed to thwart quick escape.
So Raspberry just stood, mouth wide agape.
Check-out operators kept up an incessant babble.
With all customers, a compliant rabble.
Roger Raspberry finally checked out and paid,
And very quickly, his escape he made.

Some people just love to organise events,
Which, in themselves, don’t make a lot of sense,
These endeavours do readily conspire,
To gather huge crowds that instantly do tire,
As good a space as any, if you please,
To fall victim to many a contagible disease.
“Standing room only,” so said the driver of the bus,
“Move right up now, make plenty of room, no fuss.”
The bus rocked off, evidently overladen,
Over a pot-holed road needing grading.
Roger Raspberry stared quite aghast,
Feeling weak from the fumes of the exhaust blast.
“Next stop is the City Centre,”
How to get off, so he could enter,
The oh, so overcrowded City Plaza,
It would be like living in Gaza!

Lunch time in the City was over-powering,
Ant people moving in circles like a farmer ploughing.
Step out of line and you’re in for a collision,
You have to think fast for every decision.
Roger Raspberry headed for the nearest store,
He needed to buy clothes, beyond what he wore.
“It’s been so long that I’ve been here stopping,”
“Because I can’t stand to be out shopping.”
He walked right in and glanced at the racks
All he saw was people, their fronts and backs.
There was not a single attendant in sight,
Roger began to feel that old panic fright.
He selected a pair of trousers from the rack,
He must try them on because he didn’t want to come back.
There was a giant queue to the changing room,
Roger Raspberry viewed it with gloom.
So he took his trousers to the Camping section,
And sneaked into a display tent for inspection,
As to whether, or not, the trousers did fit,
He was soon checking out, pleased at his wit,
Determined to exit this appalling Shopping Centre,
He made a bee-line to an Exit, he did enter.