Between first love, being in love, and loving
It was the third time I had fallen on my backside and I was beginning to feel that I was never going to learn to roller-skate.
I sat there on the cold concrete floor as people went whizzing past me and was just about to give up.
"Are you OK, any bones broken? I can see you are not having much luck with this"
Said a soft sounding voice. I laughed and shook my head.
"It´s not as easy as it looks." I replied.
I then lifted my head up to see who it was I was talking to.
The person standing there looking down upon me was not so a person at all but a real angel, and all I could see of this angel was her incredible cobalt blue eyes.
I was mesmerized for some moments that felt like years as I have never seen anything so beautiful in my whole life.
And the sum of my whole life was 15 years.
The angel was of a similar age and was smiling right at me.
The angel spoke again: "Let me help you. It´s quite easy really. Here take my hand."
She said and then took hold of my arm to help me up.
However, as soon as I stood up I immediately fell again.
This time I fell hard onto my back, and it hurt like hell.
However, it was not hell but heaven that I fell into, and just to confirm that,
the angel fell right on top of me.
We both laughed and giggled,
and somewhere between the falling and giggling,
we both fell in love.
A wonderful afternoon unfolded of laughing, smiling and going with the flow of the universe. And the universe decided that it was my turn to experience the sensation of ultimate joy
It was the first time anyone had ever actually seen me.
And when I say that I mean, the soul of me and the whole of me.
She did not judge me but instead embraced all of me.
At age fifteen I was on a two week summer vacation with my family and it was on the second day at the summer holiday camp that I fell in love for the first time.
She, Lisa, was also age fifteen and we were both rather innocent in the ways of love, being in love, and loving.
But what did that matter, we simply loved being together. We couldnt wait to be together and we could not bare parting from each other at the end of the long short days.
Every moment I was with Lisa I felt more alive than I can ever remember.
We explored each other in innocent ways but kissing on the lips was as far as we ever got because it was as far as we ever needed to go. Both of us between the two worlds of coming out of childhood and entering into the world of adolescence.
Emotions burning like fire on water, the flames of love burning so strongly that no amount of water can ever put them out.
A foolish proposal of my eternal dedication was an impossible dream was bound to end in tears.
A lifetime later I occasionally go searching deep within the dark tunnels of my memory trying to find lost or forgotten pieces of moments from this life changing experience.
And as I become older I now realize these memories and are the most precious things there are in this short life we all share.
This I hope this post goes some way to explain the meaning of this painting of which took 4 months to create.
It is one of the most precious works I have ever done and now I am preparing to part with it .
This coming summer when I open my gallery for the new tourist season I sense that this painting will be sold to one of the collectors who by my work.
I have held onto it for a few years now but now it is time let it go.
I suppose it sounds strange to say that as one would think that an artist wishes to sell their work.
Well they do, but if the work is etched with a piece of their soul then time is needed to prepare to say goodbye. Sometimes this can take a year or two depending upon how much of yourself you put in there.
Think about it. When the painting is gone, what is left?
Money.
And then?
This post as a tribute to all those who have experienced or can remember their first love,
the first time they fell in love and the pain of losing this love.
Below is a 2 minute film I made showing details of the painting and with me speaking and expressing a poem I wrote that goes with the painting. I think it captures how I feel about the work, and is one of my own personal favorite works of art I have ever done.
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Thanks for sharing such a beautiful piece and the story behind it:)
https://twitter.com/Soul_Eater_43/status/831594453102166017
A compliment from you is something I value highly @thecryptofiend.
I only realized it was Valentines day when I opened my newspaper early this morning.
Every time this romantic day comes around it brings back heartfelt memories, and so I figured it was perhaps appropriate that I share this event with my Steemit friends.
I was not shy about sharing this because I know that possibly 99% of the population have their own first-love story and as an artist we are used to baring our souls in our work.
Without feeling there is no meaning.
Thanks again for your comments, it means a lot.
I think first love is something you never forget!
For sure. It is a life changing event and one I would hope every person has experienced in their life. Life is never the same again afterwards.
somewhere between the falling and giggling, we both fell in love.
So wonderfully poetic, I love this line.
Ha ha thanks, well I suppose that is how it was. Some who know me do say I am a bit of an old romantic lol!
There are worse things to be I guess.
Thanks for the nice comment
Thank you:) You're really wise in understanding your inner artist, I'm only beginning this way:)
Beautiful painting, and even more beautiful story and presentation to go along with it. Few things in the world can compare to first love, and it is SO deeply felt when it occurs when young. Life is so new then, and everything is on the surface and emotions are being felt all the while you develop and learn them.
Glad you got to experience it so strongly when young, which is obvious in the painting it took so much to create. I can imagine it would be hard to part with. But that is something I need much more practice in. And the memory is the strongest part of the story, and that will be with you all your life.
I know what you mean. As I get older I treasure my memories more an more. And my memory of my first love never seems to fade. As you say, everything is new and fresh with no baggage of failures or disappointments.
It will hard to part with for sure but I have to move on or I will not be forced to make new work. It is a problem. The artist must let go of the things they love in order to dig deep again to create new works.
Thank you for the feedback my friend @ddschteinn
That's a follow, you're a genius! I love the painting so much I just can't stop looking at it!!!
Wow what a compliment.
Well I would not say I was genius as geniuses find it quite easy.
I have to work very hard with a lifetime of dedication behind it to paint like that. However, I would add that it is hard work with joy.
Really appreciate the feedback, always nice to get a remark like that.
Cheers @inber
Huh, that's the kind I react when someone says something ike that about my art. I'm like "there's no talent, there's work-work-work". But I can't even imagine how to start to create art like you did, and that makes it genial to me:):):)
I see.
The secret to great art is to look within rather than to look around.
I have seen an known so many artists who hit a wall and think that the answer is to look at what other artists are doing and then try to copy that in their own way. But then all that happens is that they become frustrated and then get depressed. Some have come to me for help and I basically tell them that they must rebuild from the ground up.
Its like this: I believe that every person is unique. We all have unique DNA and individual life experience. Therefore that has to be our subject matter because only we are an authority on ourselves.
I cant paint about someone else life in the same way they could their own, right? It could only be an interpretation rather than a recreation.
Find what thrills you and it will automatically thrill others.
The reason for this is that human-beings are built to recognize the truth.
Therefore when we see a painting that was created from within it must hold a truth and so the truth can not fail to penetrate the viewer.
Find what thrills you my friend an you will soon be painting masterpieces.
Nice to talk with a fellow artist.
I never thought about this before... But your words about looking withing are just what I needed to hear. Most time I concentrate on work, where I have a clear technical task for an illustration or concept for a character, but when I take out of the box my oil paints and want to create something for myself - I feel confused. And that's right, untill now I tryed to make copys or something, and instantly thought that my own vision is not that important. And even when my own style started to come out it felt like "strange thing", thow it wasn't that bad, but just was different. Thank you so much, you showed me the different vision, hope I'll be brave enough to use it:)
Go for it my friend . Trust in yourself and let the inner truth come out. I will follow your back and look out for when you post. Good luck!
Amazing art. Wonder post.
Thank you, that was a very nice compliment. Much appreciated.
Your so welcome