Dealing with Loss

Image source: Pixabay

Sometimes life just tears your heart right out. I wish it was not so. I wish we could count on happiness, and be assured that if today is a good day, we can expect more of the same tomorrow. But no. There is death, and there is sadness. And we often don't know when they're coming. Yesterday, I learned of the passing of a great Steemian, a loss that is deeply felt by the Power House Creatives community.

Today, the news was much closer to home - the childhood friend of one of my kids. It is devastating. A young life lost. A person who could have done so much in this world. He was funny and charismatic and had a good heart. What happened? Sadly, I believe he went astray. In the simplest sense, which is all I can share because his story is not mine to tell and I don't know enough to tell it, he got off track somewhere. And he never found his way back.

Watershed Moments

One night about three years ago, my son was out running around with two friends near the high school where the three were enrolled as freshmen. The two friends were about as opposite as any two kids could be. One came from a wealthy family - his father a self-made millionaire who lived in a fabulous house on a lake with his second wife and their new baby. The other, whom I will refer to as JK, lived in an apartment with his mother, step father, and a whole bunch of half brothers and sisters.

Certainly the two friends had divorced parents in common. But there was something else too. They also loved risk and excitement. They were starting to get into trouble. We had begun to think it might be time to intervene and see if we could redirect our son to other friends. It's incredibly difficult to do, if your kid is enamored with the energy and charisma of kids with powerful personalities.

We weren't sure what to do. And then that fateful night happened. We couldn't reach our son on his cell phone. He sent us one text saying that he would not be coming home that night. "Don't worry," he said. "I'm fine. And I'll be at school in the morning."

We were frantic. Where was our kid? It was a chilly night, and we knew he had gone out without a coat. The other parents didn't know where any of the kids were either. We had an army of kids texting each other and asking about the boys. There had been sightings. They were at one of the friends' houses. But they had left. Then they were seen at a fast food restaurant. They were no longer there. Then we got a call from the school. Some boys had been seen walking around on the roof the school, and someone recognized them. One of them was our son.

They had run off after that. My husband and the wealthy dad went out driving around looking for them. Finally, they found them in the woods near the school, not far from where JK lived. The boys tried to run, but the two dads tackled them. I'll never know why JK's parents weren't there. They had too many other kids to manage, perhaps. Maybe he had become too much of a handful, and they had given up trying. Who knows. JK was sent home. The other two boys climbed into cars with their dads who agreed that it was great they found them, and that this wasn't a good sign. These kids were not making good choices.

I remember feeling so relieved that we got my son home. We were all in tears over it. I know a lot of parents would have come up with a punishment. But we're not that type. We just hugged our son, and told him how much we love him, and that he needn't ever run away to explore. We just need to know he's okay, and that he's safe. It was his one little adventure on the wild side. And I also remember feeling worried about JK. We had known him since he was little. Our boys had been in school together, and friends, since kindergarten. They had attended each other's birthday parties, been in scouts and played basketball together. But the signs weren't good for the direction JK was headed.

Image source: Pixabay

A Fork in the Road

After that, my son never ran around with those kids again. He turned to other friends. The wealthy kid's dad moved him to another school - a private one, I believe, where he would be away from whatever influences were tugging at him. A year or so later, JK was expelled from the school. I don't remember why. I'm not sure I ever heard the reason. But these things are never good.

Not too long ago, we heard JK had been imprisoned. My son was sure it was a rumor. He didn't believe it could be true. He wouldn't talk much about his old friend. They had taken different paths, and that was all. My son had a great bunch of high school friends to hang out with, several of whom were fanatical about baseball like he was. We were relieved. We felt like we had dodged a bullet.

The very sad end of the story is that JK is now dead from a drug overdose. We just found out about it this afternoon. I've been crying off and on, feeling devastated for the family that I know loved him very much, and devastated for a beautiful, funny, smart and charming young man who fell prey to vices and temptations. I don't know his whole story, and I won't conjecture why he went down the path he did. Why does anyone go astray?

No matter what, I'm sure it is much more complicated than anything I might imagine. What I do know is that he is at peace. And tonight, I honor his memory by thinking of him as a young boy, so full of silliness and fun, and always incredibly respectful whenever he came to visit or stay over. He was very much a good person at heart.

Thanks for reading.

Join me on Actifit! Get inspired to move every day, get fit and get rewards. Click this referral link to get started. Or find full instructions here.