Translation practice: Kurousa-P - 紅一葉 (Akahitoha) (feat. 巡音ルカ)

This song was featured in Hatsune Miku: Project DIVA X. It did receive an official English translation for that game, but my wife wanted to understand it better and asked me to take a look at it. So I read through it and tried to interpret it without reference to the official English.

My Japanese comprehension is pretty bad, so do understand that I might be completely wrong in any of this... but, honestly, I don't think the official English was very good. I can see a few verb conjugations in the original text that I tried to capture in my interpretation, but the official translation seems to completely miss. So, I don't know. My suspicion is that Sega didn't put a lot of effort into the translated lyrics in the Project DIVA series, since a lot of the ones I've seen in the games seem pretty awkward.

My source for the lyrics is the Vocaloid wiki, which also includes the official English lyrics.

This is apparently considered the definitive YouTube video, if you want to hear the music. It has its own translation, which I think is pretty reasonable, but they seem to add a lot of ideas that aren't there in the original text.

Japanese	English
紅一葉	Lone Red Leaf
風に揺らいで　ひらり舞い散る 君の肩ごしに紅一葉 ただ寄り添えば　わかりあえると 悲しみは空に消えるだけ	Waving in the breeze, falling gently in a dance Upon your shoulder, a lone red leaf. Since I can understand only when we are close, Sorrow just vanishes into the sky.
月明かり照らしてた　遠くの笛の音　御神楽太鼓 ありふれた幸せは　思えばこんなに素敵でした	Shining moonlight—distant flutes—a sacred dance to drums— It was lovely to feel these simple pleasures.
いつか話そう　出会えた喜び 淡い愛しさ　知らずにいた	Someday I'll talk about the joy we might have found. I had no knowledge of fleeting love.
風に揺らいで　ひらり舞い散る 君の肩ごしに紅一葉 ただ寄り添えば　わかりあえると 悲しみは空に消えるだけ	Waving in the breeze, falling gently in a dance Upon your shoulder, a lone red leaf. Since I can understand only when we are close, Sorrow just vanishes into the sky.
穏やかに迫りくる　季節は朧げ　誘いし火影 躓いて迷いながら　進んでゆくのも悪くないよ	The approaching silence—the season hazy—the firelight inviting— As we stumble and hesitate, it isn't wrong to move forward.
今を漂い　願いよ届けと 絶えた祈りを　重ねるだけ	Please, let that moment last! Because of this notice, My cut-off prayers only accumulate.
忘れられない　思い出がある 君の肩ごし　桜紅葉 強く儚く　世界を埋めて　この愛を　永久に捧ぐ	There are memories that cannot be forgotten. Upon your shoulder, the red leaf of the cherry tree. Powerful and ephemeral, they fill the world and lift this love into eternity.
風に揺れて　ひらり舞い散れ 今宵闇夜を　紅く染めて ただ寄り添って　抱かれていたい 悲しみが　空に消えるまで	Sway in the breeze, fall gently in your dance! Tonight's shadows will be colored red. I only want to hold you close Until sorrow vanishes into the sky.

Notes:

• I almost didn't notice it, but the kanji in the title is 紅 rather than 赤. They both mean "red" and can both read as aka, but 紅 is a more poetic term for a deep red. "Scarlet" or "crimson" might be better words, but I don't think they flow very well in the phrase.
• I'm pretty unsure about translating 届けと as "because of this notice." It makes a lot of sense to me that way because of what the description on the wiki says about the background of the song, but neither of the other translations I mentioned seem to do anything similar with it. So, I don't know.