How I went from being a hardcore meat eater to a passionate vegan
I know what many of you meat eaters are probably thinking right about now. Oh great, another self-righteous vegan who’s eager to tell me how they’re better than me! Am I right? Well, rest assured that’s not the case here. After all, I used to be a proud meat eater myself for many years and I always keep that in the back of my mind. During that time, I swore up and down that I’d never give up my juicy steak, In-N-Out double-double cheeseburger, carne asada tacos, or - God forbid - my beloved cioppino! I loved meat so much that I’d often joke about eating human flesh if it was seasoned right… alianely raised, of course!
I was basically a slave to my tastebuds is what I’m trying to tell you. Also, I dreaded eating vegetables so the thought of going vegan just seemed very far-fetched to me. So what the hell happened that convinced me to change? Well, simply put, my conscience came knocking at my door repeatedly like a tenacious Jehovah’s Witness that just wouldn’t go away. I stubbornly tried to ignore it for as long as I could until the day came when I could no longer do so.
Here’s how it happened:
It started in early to mid 2014, during a critical period in my life which involved intense emotional and physical healing, introspection, and spiritual transformation. I had an overwhelming desire to attain higher levels of consciousness and to become the greatest version I could conceive of myself. To that end, I immersed myself into esoteric studies and metaphysics, reading texts like The Kybalion and The Emerald Tablets of Thoth, and I kept a daily dream journal to help me tap into my subconscious mind more deeply.
It was also during this time that I stumbled across Ralph Smart’s YouTube channel Infinite Waters (Diving Deep) while I was searching for videos on the pineal gland, and his video came up as the top result: How to Decalcify Your Pineal Gland, The Science of The Pineal Gland and Third Eye Activation. His first piece of advice was to eliminate all animal products from one's diet and to focus on whole plant-based foods as they help to raise your vibration, while animal products do the exact opposite as you're consuming the pain and suffering the animals endured until their moment of death. An interesting idea, I thought, but I wasn't quite ready to make that leap so I decided to file it in the back of my brain for later use.
Over the proceeding weeks and months, things started to get weird. It was as though my subconscious mind was nudging me to cut back on my meat intake as soon as possible, which I knew needed to be done but I kept putting it off. My meat & dairy eating habits were extremely hard to break, even when I saw signs of my body rejecting them. It started with minor stomach aches and headaches at first and then over time I began to feel tightness in my chest (no good). As if that wasn't bad enough, something even more crazy happened after that which took me by total surprise.
My best friend and I were eating at our favorite taco joint in LA one night, as we had done countless times before. This place was like a sanctuary to us as we'd often go there to confess our secrets, have some laughs, and just enjoy some kickass conversation whilst devouring our delicious carne asada & fish tacos. Anyway, shortly after we wrapped up our meal and started heading back home I began to panic. I could not for the life of me understand what was going on. All I knew is that I was gripped with fear and felt an overwhelming urge to get out of the car and hide. I took several deep breaths and did my best to calm down. You're gonna be all right, Tanisha. You're gonna be all right. It'll pass. After about 5 minutes or so, it finally did.
Dafuq??
I was completely baffled. Never in my life had I experienced a panic attack like that out of the blue. There was no reasonable explanation I could come up with so I just let it go, thinking that it was a one time deal. I was wrong. It happened AGAIN, about a week later at the same taco joint! Do I really have to give up my tacos??
:( :( :( :( :(
Ralph Smart's words were echoing in my head, and for the first time, I was beginning to understand what he was talking about. I needed to change... everything inside me was screaming for it. Yet I still resisted. (Are you beginning to see a pattern here?)
...and then it happened, the dream that shook me to the core with a heavy dose of truth.
It happened on the night of July 23rd, 2014, after I had just come back from a camping trip in the Eastern Sierra with a group of friends. I brought back a single token from this trip which was a big triangular piece of black obsidian that I had found at a crater site and that was just begging me to pick up and take home with me. I placed it just a few feet away from my bed, and dozed off. By the time I woke up the following morning, I was not the same person. I immediately recorded every single detail I could recall into my dream journal.
I was walking through a slum and saw all these destitute people living in small & rusty boxlike shipping containers that stretched out over many acres of barren land. Someone was walking beside me, guiding me to the box container that was to become my new home. I stepped inside, set down a few of my belongings and went back outside and wandered about the squalor, trying to figure out how things operated around there. I saw a jet flying low over me which I instinctively knew was part of the mail delivery system of this place.
A little while later I return to my box container only to find a group of people gathered there, and a woman standing before them with a rusty cage filled with black kittens beside her. She was about to give a demonstration on how to kill and prepare the kittens for a meal. I was absolutely horrified! When it came time for us to prepare, I saw her pull out one of the kittens from the cage and hold it in one hand while carrying a large iron skillet in the other as she was about to bash its skull in with it. I immediately turned away as I couldn't bear to watch but my ears could not shield me from the dreadful thunk of the skillet bashing into this poor kitten’s skull, twice, and the shrieks of agony that ensued.
As soon as she was finished she then turned to me and beckoned me to take my turn. “I can’t do it!” I told her. She tilted her head slightly while smiling at me and replied “of course you can do it. It’s very easy to do,” “No, you don’t understand! I love cats! I have two of them back home and they’re my babies! I could NEVER kill one of them!” She tried to console me by stating that she was a cat lover, too, but she learned how to cut off all her emotions while engaging in this act as it was a quick and humane way to go about it. This is absolutely fucking nuts, I thought to myself. There’s just no fucking way I’m going to kill a kitten by bashing a fucking skillet into its skull, I don’t care how brief and “humane” it appears to us! That little creature was terrified for its life and it was clearly in pain. I simply could not go through with it, despite the nonchalant attitude from the rest of the group. I stood up and walked away.
I walked to a nearby store, hoping to find something I could eat but the only things available were meat products and junk food. Exasperated, I walked out of the store and fell to the ground of the parking lot, crying. A friend (from real life) passes by and sees me in tears. "What's wrong?" she asked. I proceeded to tell her everything that I had witnessed. "All this time I’ve been eating meat, without giving so much as a second thought to the sheer hypocrisy of it. It’s like, what the hell? I could eat a cow but not a cat simply because one is my pet and the other one isn’t? It’s not right!" I told her. She nodded with understanding and asked me, “well, what are you going to eat?” as she knew I was very hungry and there weren’t any good options around. “I don’t know but I’ll figure it out,” I replied, as I glanced across the street only to see vending machines and fast food chains.
Flash forward, I was then standing in my boss’ office. I picked up a bag of bread he had sitting on his desk. As I was pulling out two slices from the bag a co-worker walked by and saw me, and told me I should wait until our boss shows up first and ask for permission to eat his bread.
The dream ended shortly thereafter.
This was me.
Now here’s an intriguing bit of information I read about black obsidian in The Crystal Bible after the powerful dream I described above:
“Black obsidian forces facing up to one’s true self, taking you deep into the subconscious mind in the process. It brings imbalances and shadow qualities to the surface for release, highlighting hidden factors. It magnifies all negative energies so that they can be fully experienced and released … placing obsidian by the bed or under the pillow can draw out mental stress and tension, and it may have a calming effect, but it can also bring up the reasons for that stress. The reasons then have to be confronted before peace can return; this resolves the problem permanently rather than having a palliative effect.”
OK! I GET IT!!! My subconscious mind is obviously telling me to get my ass in gear!
This whole thing sounds freakish, I know, but how could I possibly downplay it? With all the signs and warnings I'd been receiving over the previous months, this one was far too blatant to be mere coincidence. This dream left me with no choice but to confront the unsettling fact that my actions were inconsistent with my values, and that stepping into this new awareness was essential to my growth as a human being.
To be perfectly honest, I was totally creeped out by this experience, and I couldn't touch meat for the rest of that week. Shamefully, though, I caved in to my addiction and once again there was meat on my plate. It wasn't until about two months later that I finally found the will to let it go... and more.
I just had a full vegan dinner a couple of nights ago and it was so delicious. I felt so refreshed after. Rather than eating a burger with meat, I had a quinoa burger with eggplant and sweet potato fries. The most delicious dinner I've had and it was all vegan!
Sweet potato/yam fries with chipolte aioli sauce will salvage even the most fucked up of days.
Sweet potato fries become so addictive once you've tried them. Absolutely the best.
Unless you haven't been able to eat solid food in 20 years...
That sounds delicious! I found this vegan burger recipe recently that I'm eager to try:
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/double-drive-thru-veggie-burgers
It was created by famous vegan chef, Chloe Coscarelli, who's become a new hero of mine!
What we put into our body has a huge effect on our mood and perception. After abstaining from meat for an extended period of time, eating a steak can cause an intense psychedelic experience. By consuming this different form of energy you will feel more grounded after the exalting personal experience of consuming only plant life.
You're absolutely right about that. I couldn't believe how much lighter I felt when I gave up meat and dairy. I had reached a level of mental clarity that was entirely unique. I can't imagine ever going back to eating the way I was.
what if the meat industry knows something we don't and eating meat keeps us acting like sheep (cue x-files music)
What did you cook your potato fries in?
I actually baked with a bit of coconut oil
Kudos! That is definitely creepy tho.
I did the Esselstyn vegan diet for 7 months and my health radically improved. I lost 17 kilos. Felt great.
Wow! That's incredible! Good for you, man! That's the beautiful thing about eating a healthy vegan diet. It's the only diet that's been proven to reverse many of the most common diseases. Dr. Michael Greger released a new book about it that I highly recommend to everyone called How Not to Die
Here's a great talk he gave on it, too:
But wow... does he like his own voice. O_o
Couldn't agree more. I've literallt turned a new leaf and left all animal products and highly processed foods behind. It leads to a healthier life and a much more appreciation of nature. However, each person must have their own journery. In addition, exercise accoompanied with this change offers a myriad of welcomed benefits. Let's all aim to improve our health and reduce the prevalence of NCDs (non-communicable diseases).
Very happy to hear that! :) I figure the best way to influence others is by setting a positive example, and showing them that it's very doable and beneficial to their health and overall well-being. Veganism is an excellent way to resolve the healthcare issue, environmental destruction, loss of biodiversity, world hunger, and of course, to eliminate the highly unnecessary cruelty that is being afflicted on billions upon billions of sentient beings every single year. It's about creating a gentler world (which we desperately need).
@tmendieta Great post! Veganism is the best! Keep up the good work!
Thanks!! :)
I eat good quality meat a few times every week, and my mind is clear, my energy levels are high, and life is good.
For me it was not so much about not eating meat, but cutting down on carbs considerably. Turns out it feels a lot better to eat a lot more fat (but not going all the way into ketosis, that does not work so well in my case).
For sure there is plenty of unethical things happening in the meat industry, the way the animals live and the sh*t they are fed daily, and unfortunately that seems to be the norm in many parts of the world.
Well, luckily, not where I am from. The animals live long happy lives, roam the countryside, and are killed humanely.
I do not buy any of these "let's not hurt the animals!" arguments, we are top predator and other animals eat other animals all the time.
Of course I would not cause pain to a living creature, particularly mammals, for no purpose, but hunting animals down and eating them .. no problem.
For all this stuff about eating plants and how it is more ethical and what not, we also see a lot of research that points to the plants being at least somewhat aware, in a very alien way to us, and trying to stave off the attacks.
Of course, unlike animals, they are stationary, and cannot cry, so good luck with that.
tldr: more vegans = more meat for me, spread the good gospel!
I don’t buy the “we are top predator” argument, either.
First, we should note that this argument means we can kill any creature we want, including cats and dogs, and also that future evolved man and extraterrestrials can kill and eat us if they choose. I doubt that if you were on the receiving end of that that you’d be okay with it.
As human beings, we’re only as powerful as we are now due to our big brains and ability to craft tools and weapons to force others to submit to our will. Strip all of that away, however, and you stand no chance against a lion, tiger, bear, ape, elephant, rhino, etc. Hell, a lot of us are afraid of spiders and mice which doesn’t speak very well to our top predator image. :)
At its core, though, what this argument is really saying is that might makes right, which holds very little weight from a moral perspective. This has been made clear from the numerous atrocities that humans have committed against each other throughout our history. I think it’s high time that we move beyond that level of thinking.
As for the “other animals eat other animals all the time” part of your argument, I don’t see how this is relevant to morality. There’s a host of activities that wild animals engage in from copulating with members of their own family, infanticide, and defecating out in the open, yet these are not the sort of behaviors that we’d cheerfully adopt ourselves. No, we’re just selectively choosing which behaviors we want to model for our own convenience and peace of mind.
As for the plants argument you brought up, there is no solid evidence to support their sentience. But let’s just say if they were proven to have some degree of sentience, it still takes many times the amount of plants to feed oneself through animals than it does to eat plants directly, so instead of just eating the plants ourselves, the suggestion is that we should kill many times more plants to feed the animals, plus then also kill the more highly-evolved animals as well? That is hardly an effective argument for eating animals. In fact, it is a highly effective argument for not eating animals.
At the intuitive level, we of course already know all about the categorical difference between sentient animals and non-sentient plants, because if we were ever given a bunny, a carrot, and a knife, it seems pretty safe to say that unless we were a psychopath we would cut the carrot and feed it to the bunny. And we also intuitively know about the minimization of harm principle as well, because if we thought that carrots were also sentient but we were being forced to stab either the carrot or the bunny, we would still choose to stab the carrot rather than the bunny.
"Well, luckily, not where I am from. The animals live long happy lives, roam the countryside, and are killed humanely."
So how exactly do you kill humanely?
Years ago I started as a vegetarian, then moved to vegan, then moved to raw vegan. I gave it all up and started eating meat again. I gained all types of weight I was out of shape. Over the last few months I started boxing classes, and went back to vegetarian/vegan. I feel amazing and dropped a ton of weight. Meat is gross especially the meat that is shot up with antibiotics and hormones.
I gotta give you mad props for trying again despite you falling off the wagon the first time. Seriously, that takes a lot of guts. Most people would give up after not succeeding the first time. You sound like you have a great attitude, and I'm happy that you're living an active lifestyle now and feeling terrific on a veggie diet! Good job, man! :-D
Agreed! Meat is gross!
Thanks for the support! Yeah, my facebook feed did not make meat appealing. A lot of my conspiracy friends happen to be vegetarian/vegan.
Sure thing! That's awesome that you have a lot of friends who are already veggie/vegan. Having that kind of support makes a huge difference.
Alienly raised huh? That's not me in the picture! I'm just saying ;)
Haha! I actually thought of you when I found it! :-D
Haha! Glad to be the resident alien around here :)
There is nothing better then this
Mmm, yeah. That does look tasty! You know what's even more tasty? This vegan Double-Double:
http://www.foodandwine.com/recipes/double-drive-thru-veggie-burgers
Without the saturated fat and cholesterol. ;)
Hmm, relevant username? 'Procto,' as proctology? LOL.
Utterly nauseating... something you can only appreciate when you've never had things that are so much better.
Wow interesting way to go. I stopped eating meat as well 2 years ago and only very occassionally eat it. Like for example when I get invited and they didn't know. Because for me, when the animal is already dead and cooked, it would be a shame to just throw it away. But when I can choose, I never order meat myself. It upsets me a lot to see my colleagues sometimes, ordering meat for lunch and then don't finish it. This is just so disrespectful.
Are you still interested in learning more about your subconscious and conscious? I recommend you to read "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, if you haven't read it yet :)
Thanks for commenting @svoboda :) You bring up an excellent point. I went through something similar earlier this year. A couple of months after my boyfriend and I moved into our new place here in southern Chile, I had baked a vegan apple cake for a neighbor of ours as a token of respect, and about a week later she baked us a Chilean style pastry which did contain some dairy in it. Of course, she was unaware that we're both vegan because I hadn't brought it up yet up to that point. It felt wrong to me to reject her thoughtful gift (or worse yet, throw it in the trash) so we did eat it out of respect to her, however, I did bring up the fact that we're vegans in casual conversation about a week or so after that event which she was receptive to.
Social situations are always tricky but nowadays I make it a point to let the host know ahead of time about our dietary needs or at the very least, bring something that we can eat ourselves and share with the guests (or just eat before heading to a social function). This usually prevents awkward and uncomfortable situations from occurring.
Actually, no, I haven't read that book but I've heard about it many times! I'll be sure to add it to my reading list. Thanks for the suggestion! :)
Oh wow you live in Chile! So cool, where so? My boyfriend spend an exchange year in Santiago and he is a vegetarian too. He had some of the same problems you mentioned. Chileans love their meat :P Do you always cook for yourself or have you found some good places to eat in Chile?
We live in Valdivia which is about 740 km south of Santiago. I just moved here from the US last December and I love it down here! It's very green & lush, and a lot less hectic than Santiago.
That's really cool that your boyfriend lived here for a while! Hahaha, I know! Chileans are nuts about their meat & dairy! It's especially hard to find basic things like bread that don't contain dairy in it (which is really frustrating). We have one little vegan shop in town, though, and plenty of farmer's markets that sell cheap produce so that's a huge benefit.
Most of the restaurants here are notoriously bad in quality and service (and very few have vegan options available) so I tend to cook most of our meals at home. In fact, one of my goals is to open a solar vegan restaurant in the future and I'm currently enrolled in a plant-based cooking course to get certified so I rather enjoy making yummy things with plants! :)
Yeah I heard that the gastronomy level is not too high, but that means there is still place for improvement. Since my boyfriend enjoyed his time in Chile so much we are thinking about moving there once I finished my studies here.
That's exactly how I'm choosing to look at it... as an opportunity for improvement. That's one of my goals.
Wonderful! You're studying Hotel Management and Hospitality, is that right? Feel free to hit me up if you ever decide to visit southern Chile down the road.
I am also a self-confessed meat-lover in somewhat of a transition period. No matter which way Iook at it, I'm finding harder to justify eating meat on the grounds of health reasons, animal welfare and concern for the environment. I've been eating more and more vegetables and whole foods daily and less and less meat. I think it is only a matter of time until my conversion is complete....and I'm feeling good about it. I've lost a bit of excess fat and have more energy already.
Bingo! That's how I later felt about eating meat and why I ultimately decided to remove it from my diet (along with dairy and eggs, etc.). Once you see the full scope of the damage that's being perpetuated as a result of animal agriculture, it's hard to support it. I wish you the best of luck in your full conversion! I recommend Colleen Patrick-Goudreu's book The 30-Day Vegan Challenge for anyone who is just starting out.
I'll check out that book, thanks. I've already cut (most) dairy and have noticed a big difference in my digestion. Milk is gone completely but I still have a bit of fresh yoghurt and cheese sometimes.
You're welcome. It sounds like you're well on your way!
I know that finding a good vegan cheese is especially tough but there is one company that makes excellent gourmet vegan cheeses that you may want to check out: Miyoko's Kitchen I only wish they were available in South America!
It really depends on what you eat. The best meat I had came from the most rural place... and I ate more than I knew I could eat, it was like eating clouds, and I was hardly hungry for the remainder of the week and got so much done!